I was scarred for life. I got it from my ex-boyfriend, Keon when he was beating me. He had a knife in his hand and he wielded it at me, it caught me at the side of my eye. He punched me and I felt to the floor, stunned and bleeding when the police burst into the apartment, handcuffed him and took him away. I was rushed to the hospital and kept overnight after they stitched me up.
For a long time, I was depressed because of the scar. It was an ugly reminder of years of abuse I had suffered at the hands of a man who claimed he loved me. I believed him even though the abuse got worse. Finally, I told him that I was going to leave him and that was what brought about that attack that night when he got arrested. He’s in jail now and I hope they keep him there for a long time.
I didn’t think any man would want me because of the scar. The prospect of spending the rest of my life alone was hard and depressing. And I worried that I might end up in another abusive relationship. Then, I met Seymour.
I was on the train on my way home one evening and he was sitting opposite me. I could feel him watching me and when I looked up from my book, Bought and Sold, a historical fiction about a Creole slave woman, and our eyes met. He was younger than me–probably in his late twenties. I was in my late thirties.
He smiled and I smiled back, though I couldn’t imagine why he would be staring at me when there were other more attractive, white women in the car. He was very attractive, though and I was flattered by his attention. We stared at each other. I don’t know if the other passengers noticed but it didn’t matter to either of us.
Then, the train pulled into my stop and I hurriedly got up, holding onto the pole until it stopped. As I headed towards the doors, I looked at him, smiled and said, “Goodnight.” And then, I was on the platform. As I walked across the platform and headed towards the stairs, I wondered if I would ever see him again.
As I was about to reach the stairs, I heard someone call out and I turned. It was him and he was hurrying towards me. My heart began to pound. When he reached me, he held out my novel. “You dropped this,” he said.
I stared at him and then up at him. “Thank you,” I said, taking it from him. He had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. They were a light blue. They reminded me a sunny day with a clear blue sky.
“You’re welcome,” he replied, smiling. “I’m glad you dropped it. It gave me an excuse to come after you.”
I smiled. “The least I can do to is to buy you a coffee.”
“I would like that very much. My name is Seymour.” He had a slight French accent.
“Raelyn. My friends and family call me Rae.”
We shook hands and then we made our way out of the subway and went to a nearby cafe where we talked over a Latte and Cappuccino. He asked me about the scar and I told him the whole sordid story. I felt such ease talking to him.
“I’m so sorry that you have suffered so much,” he said. “A woman is a gift from God and should be treated with love and respect.”
“I wish he shared the same opinion you do of women, then, I wouldn’t be scarred for life.”
“And you would still be with him and we wouldn’t be here together. Sometimes horrible things happen to us but God always works out good for us.”
“Yes, He does.” It wasn’t a coincidence that Seymour and I met. I believed that God had brought us together. He couldn’t have done that when I was still with Keon.
“Think of your scar as God’s grace. Instead of the scar you could have lost your eye or your life.”
He was right. I hadn’t thought about that. I could have lost my eye or I could have died that night but God came through for me. And now, here I was talking to a godly man who put things into perspective for me.
We spent hours in the cafe, talking about God, relationships, life and so many other things. We ordered sandwiches. It was after nine when we left the cafe. He walked me home. In the lobby, we faced each other.
“When can I see you again, Rae?” he asked, his eyes intent on my face.
“I live in apartment 410. You can come and see me anytime.”
“Tomorrow night, I will come and take you out for dinner.”
“It’s a date. Goodnight, Seymour and thanks for everything.”
“Goodnight, Rae.” He leaned over and kissed me on the scar. Then, he smiled, waved and walked away just as the elevator doors opened. I watched him go, my eyes filling with tears. God was reminding me that there are really good and decent men out there and He had brought one into my life.
Seymour and I dated and then, one night he proposed and I readily accepted. I would have been a fool not to and besides, I was madly in love with him.
Fast forward to our honeymoon. It’s our first night in Lake Como and after having dinner, we decided to come straight to our suite. We’re about to make love for the first time and we’re both nervous. He’s already naked and lying in the bed, waiting for me to join him.
I remove my robe and tremble when I see the way he looks at me, standing there completely naked. I resist the temptation to cover myself. Instead, heart beating fast, I hurry over to the bed and climb in. I lie on my back and he rolls over onto his side and gazes down into my face. Both of us are breathing heavily.
“I love you, Rae” he murmurs huskily. I could see the love and desire in his eyes and I feel warm all over.
“And I love you, Seymour.” I never thought that such happiness was possible but then, again, with God, all things are possible.
Seymour lowers his head and kisses me. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back. The kisses soon became very passionate. Then, he breaks off the kiss to kiss every inch of my body, driving me wild. For the first time, I knew what it was like to be loved. It wasn’t just sex. This was lovemaking. He was pleasuring me, something which Keon never did. He just took. Seymour showed me that love was selfless and giving. Love isn’t just something you felt, it was something you did. And it shouldn’t hurt.
When Seymour and I made love tonight, it was a mind-blowing experience for me. And I knew that it had always been God’s plan for me to find love and happiness. It was just unfortunate that I had to go through the valley of pain and suffering before reaching the mountaintop.
Yes, I’m scarred but now I think of my scar as a sign of God’s love and grace because I survived an abusive relationship unlike so many women. Everyday, I thank God for bringing Seymour into my life at a most critical time in my life. We are expecting our second child in April, one month before my 40th birthday.
Source: Teen Vogue;