Winners and Losers

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It’s eight o’clock on a Saturday morning.  I’m on my way to buy groceries when my cell vibrates.  I stopped and I pull it out of my handbag.  It’s him.  He’s texting me.  Tonight still on?

I reply, Yes.  See u at 8.  I slip my cell back into my bag and continue walking towards the supermarket.  It’s a nice, mild morning.  I try to ignore my conscience which is telling me that what I’m doing is wrong.  I’m not a bad person.  I’m a nice person who gets along with most people and I go to church every Sunday.  Yet, why doesn’t it bother me that I’m sleeping with my friend’s boyfriend?  It should but it doesn’t.  Am I a heartless woman?  Have I ever stopped and considered how I would feel it the tables were turned and Wanda was sleeping with my man?  I guess I haven’t.  Love can be a powerful thing and it can blind you too.

Yes, love.  I’m in love with Jose.  If I weren’t I would be with him.  I never expected to fall in love with him.  Before him, Wanda dated other men and I wasn’t attracted to any of them and even if I were, I wouldn’t have done anything about it.  Wanda was my friend and I would never ever hurt her by hooking up with her boyfriend.  That was my mantra until I met Jose.  I was instantly attracted to him but I tried to fight my feelings  for as long as I could.  It wasn’t easy at all, especially when I realized that he was attracted to me too.  We sneaked looks at each other and when we were alone, he would touch my hand or slip me a note for us to get together.

The first time we crossed the line was when he and I “accidentally” bumped into each other at a nightclub.  He was there with his friends and I was there with mine.  Wanda was out of town at the time.  She had gone to visit her sister in Tampa.  Jose and I were careful how we interacted with each other but when he offered to give me a ride home, I readily accepted.  On the drive over to my apartment, we talked about different things but the air was crackling with sexual tension.  At one point, he reached over and rubbed his knuckles against my arm, making me tremble.

When we got to my apartment, he saw me to my door.  We could have said goodnight then and parted company but I invited him in.  As soon as the door was closed, we were all over each other.  In between frenzied kisses, we tore off each other’s clothes and then we were on the sofa making love.  Afterwards, we showered and had something to eat.  He left after one in the morning.  While Wanda was away, he came to my place ever evening and sometimes stayed over.  When she got back, we couldn’t see each other as often but we texted and called each other everyday.

Last night when we were together, he told me that he loved me.  I was thrilled to hear him say that because I loved him too.  I know that he doesn’t love Wanda and I think that he should break up with her.   I know that it won’t be easy for him to end a five year relationship but he has to do it.  It’s no use prolonging the inevitable.  Wanda will be devastated and it will be the end of our friendship.  It’s unfortunate but that’s how life is sometimes.  It throws us a curve-ball.  And in Wanda’s case, she couldn’t dodge hers.

“In love there are no winners or losers, there are only those who are hurt more or those who are hurt less” – Thai Proverb

 

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