Getting Away

He had just walked out of the synagogue when he saw them.  Arrested, he stood there watching Brittney with her ex-boyfriend, Andre, his heart breaking.  Burning jealousy swept through him.  They were standing a few yards away but she didn’t see him.

His sister, Anna joined him, saw his face and followed his gaze to where the couple stood talking.  Then, she looked back at him, concerned.  “Who is she?” she asked.

It took a moment for him to speak because he was so upset.  “Brittney.”

“Is she a friend of yours?”

“Yes.”  He turned away, unable to watch them any longer.  He started walk away and Anna followed him.

“Are you in love with her?”

“Yes.”

“Does she know how you feel?”

“No.”

“Are you going to tell her?”

“What’s the point?” he snapped.  “She doesn’t feel the same way.”

“How do you know that?”

“We just saw her with Andre, her ex.  It’s clear that she hasn’t gotten over him and I was a fool to believe that she had.”

“Oh, Paul, I’m so sorry.  What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.  I need time to think.”

“Why don’t you go to Paris for a few days?  You haven’t taken a vacation in ages.  You’re long overdue for one.”

He glanced down at her.  “You’re right,” he said.  “I need to get away and try to figure out what I’m going to do.  If I stay here in London, I will be tempted to go to her and I can’t bear to see her right now.  It hurts too much.”  A muscle began to throb along his jawline and he quickly turned away.

Anna reached for his hand and held it tightly.  It hurt to see her brother like this.  He was a brilliant businessman but when it came to matters of the heart, he lacked good judgment.  This wasn’t the first time a woman broke his heart but it seemed that he fell really hard for this one.  Hopefully, he would get over her as soon as possible.  He deserved better.  The trip to Paris would do him good.  She went back to his flat with him and while he changed, she got his lunch ready.  She had just put a plate of food she had prepared yesterday and brought on the table for him when the phone rang.

“Do you mind answering that for me?” he called from the bedroom.

“Hello?” she listened for a moment.  “No, you have the right number.  This is Anna speaking.  Hold one moment, please.”  She placed her hand over the mouthpiece.  “It’s Brittney,” she said when he came into the living-room.

He shook his head, indicating that he didn’t want to talk to her.

“I’m afraid he’s not available at the moment.  Perhaps he will call you back later.  Goodbye.”  She replaced the receiver into the cradle and turned to look at him.  “Are you sure you don’t want to talk to her?”

He shook his head.  “I can’t right now.  I need to clear my head first.  I’ll call her when I come back from Paris.”

“All right.  Do you need me for anything?”

He smiled.  “No, Anna.  I’ll be fine.  You should go home to Peter and the kids.  I will call you tomorrow when I check into the hotel.”

She hugged him tightly.  “I love you,” she said drawing back to look up at him.

“I love you too.  And thanks for the food.”  He followed her to the door and they said goodbye.  He shut the door and leaned against it for a moment.  Why did Brittney call him? Was it to tell him that she was back with Andre.  He closed his eyes in despair.  It would kill him if she was.

Brittney stared at the phone, her mind swirling with all sorts of thoughts and questions.  A woman named Anna had answered Paul’s phone.  Who was she?  Red, hot jealousy surged through her and she was tempted to go over to his place right now and find out.  Then, she remembered that he had a sister and her name was Anna.  Relief washed over her.  Paul wasn’t seeing another woman.  But why hadn’t he come to the phone?  She looked at the clock above the mantelpiece, debating whether she should call again or wait for him to call.  It was after seven.  She decided that she would let him call her.  In the meantime, she fixed herself a light dinner and ate it in front of the television.

When ten o’clock came and she still hadn’t heard from him, she began to worry.  It wasn’t like him not to call.  It was too late for her to call him.  She would have to wait until the morning to do so.  Disappointed, she turned off the television and went to bed.

The next morning, she got up, showered, dressed and had breakfast.  After she was done, she hurried to the phone and called Paul but there was no answer.  When the machine came on, she left a message.  She went to church and as soon as she got home, she called but still no answer.  She tried his cell but it was turned off.  She tried all day calling both his home number and his cell until finally, in the evening, she decided to go over to his flat.  She rang the bell and knocked but it was clear that Paul wasn’t there.  Where could he be?  After standing there for a while, she left.  She was worried and had a restless night.

The next morning, she called him but got the same results.  She got ready for work.  On her way to the office, she called his cell but it was still turned off.  Intermittently, throughout the day, she tried to reach him but to no avail and by the time the workday was over, she was very anxious.  Why wasn’t he answering his phone and why hadn’t he called her back? When she got home, she decided that she would call his sister.  She took out the phone directory and searched for her name. She remembered that Paul said that she lived in South Kensington, twenty minutes from where he lived and that she was married to Peter Goldstein, the reporter from the Times.  She searched under Goldstein and found the number.

A woman answered and she recognized her voice.  “Hello, Anna, this is Brittney.  I spoke to you yesterday evening when I called for Paul.  Do you know where he is?  I have been trying since Saturday to reach him.  I’m out of my mind with worry.”

“Hello Brittney.  Paul is in Paris.”

“Paris?” Brittney exclaimed.  “What is he doing there?  Is he there on business?”

“No.  He needed to get away.”

“What did he need to get away from?” she asked, bewildered.  “It’s not like him to go away and not tell me.  And he didn’t return my call on Saturday.  Is-is he seeing someone?”

“No.  He went to Paris alone.  Brittney, I was with him on Saturday when he came out of the synagogue and saw you with Andre.  It upset him so much that I suggested that he should take a break and go to Paris.”

“Oh no,” Brittney groaned.  “He saw me with Andre and thought—”

“That you were back with him.  He was devastated.  I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this but Paul is in love with you.”

“And I’m in love with him.  I have been for a long time.”

“He thinks that you’re still in love with Andre.”

“I’m over Andre.  I have been for a long time now and it’s because of Paul.  Meeting Paul and his friendship has changed my life.  And seeing Andre again made me realize that the feelings I had for him are nothing compared to my feelings for Paul.  Andre wanted us to pick up where we left off but I told him that I was in love with someone else.  I wished him well and then, I walked away.  My past with Andre is over and done with.  My future is with Paul.  Anna, please tell me where he’s staying.  I want to go to him.”  Her life felt so empty without him.  She missed him so much it ached.  How she longed to be with him.

There was a brief moment of silence and then, Anna told her the name of the hotel where he was staying.  After Brittney thanked her profusely, she said, “I’m very relieved to know that you love my brother and I wish you two all the happiness in the world.”

Brittney thanked her again and rang off.  She quickly called the office and informed her assistant that she was taking the rest of the week off.  Then, she dialed the number to book the first available flight for the following day to Paris.  She packed a bag, her heart thudding with excitement.  She was going to see Paul in a matter of hours.  I can’t wait to see him.

Paul stood on the terrace looking at the city bathed in the crimson glow of the setting sun, wishing she was there with him.  “Oh, Brittney,” he whispered brokenly, dragging his fingers through his hair as he ached for her.  Paris was a city for lovers.  If only Brittney and he were lovers instead of just friends.  If only she were with him instead of Andre…

Frustrated, he went back into the room and was going over to the bed to lie down when he heard a knock on the door.  Frowning, he went to answer it.  Opening it he was startled to see Brittney standing there, luggage in tow.   He blinked, thinking he was imagining things.  She couldn’t possibly be here in Paris.  Then, she said, “Hello Paul.” She reached up and touched his face, her gaze almost a caress.

He eyes darkened and he caught her hand to draw her into the room.  “What are you doing here?” he asked when he had closed the door and was facing her.

“I had to come.  I called your sister and she told me where you were.  I had been calling for you since Saturday but when I couldn’t reach you, I got really worried.  I went by your flat but you weren’t there so when I got home.  I called your sister on Monday and we spoke for a while.  She told me that you were here in Paris and explained why.  You saw me with Andre.”

His expression became drawn at the memory.  “When I saw you with him, I felt as if someone had pushed their hand into my chest and ripped out my heart.”

She moved closer to him.  “I’m so sorry that you saw us,” said, wringing her hands.  “It wasn’t at all what you thought.  Andre wanted to resume our relationship but I told him that I was in love with someone else.”

“And what did he say?” he asked as he moved closer, his heart pounding.

“Nothing but I wished him well and walked away.”

“So, it’s over between him and you.”

“Yes and it has been over for a long time now.”

He was standing right in front of her now, their bodies inches apart.  Wordlessly, he pulled her against him and his head lowered towards hers.

She watched transfixed as his face drew closer to hers, her gaze dropped to his mouth.  Her eyes closed as waves of indescribable pleasure undulated through her body when she felt his lips brush against her.  Putting her arms around his neck, she responded passionately to his kisses.  They stood there in the room in the dappled shade of the setting sun as it streaked through the windows, exchanging feverish kisses.

“I love you,” he muttered when at length, he raised his head to gaze down into her upturned face.  “I love you so very much.”

She smiled at him.  “I love you too,” she told him.  “That’s what I came to Paris to tell you.”

“It’s funny but just a few minutes ago, I was wishing that you were here with me in the City of lovers and then you show up.”

“Yes.  You came to Paris to get away from me and here I am.”

“Yes, here you are.  I never want us to be apart again.  It was foolish of me to think that coming here would help in some way.  I missed you so much even when I thought you had gone back to him.”

“Let’s not think about when we were apart but enjoy being together now,” she suggested huskily.  “We are in the city of love so let’s do what lovers do.”

“Yes,” he whispered and picked her up in his arms.

 

 

 

 

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A New Chapter

Andrea waited until he was alone and then she went over to him.  He stood looking down at the grave, his face pale.  Her heart was heavy and she wanted so much to put her arms around him.  He looked up when she was standing beside him.  She didn’t say anything.  Words were not necessary.  The expression on her face adequately conveyed her sympathy.   He reached for her hand and drew her closer to his side.  “Stay with me for a while,” he said, his eyes filled with pain.  He and his father had been close.  They had been there for each other since his mother died when he was six.  Now, both of them were gone.

Andrea stood there with him, the tears silently rolling down her face and her hand clasped firmly in his. She would stay there with him for as long as he needed her to.  She glanced at him, wondering if he had any idea of how much she love him and wanted to take away the pain he was feeling.  She knew what it was like to lose a parent.  It was devastating.  She still missed her own father.  She wished he had been alive when she met Liam.  They would have gotten along very well.  They were so similar in many ways.

She met Liam at a mutual friend’s barbecue and they hit it off.  They became fast friends and spent a lot of time together.  From the very beginning she had been wildly attracted to him and those feelings evolved into the love that burned in her heart now.  She wasn’t sure how long she would be able to hide her feelings from him but their friendship meant the world to her so she did her best not to jeopardize it.

He turned to her now.  “Thank you for being here,” he said.

She brushed the tears away from her cheeks.  “Where else would I be?” she asked.  “We’re friends for life, remember?”

His eyes were restless on her face.  “Friends,” he repeated softly.  “Andrea, what if–?” he started to say when a few of the other mourners joined them.

She reached up and kissed him on the cheek.  “I’ll come by and see you later,” she promised.

He nodded and released her hand.  A muscle throbbed along his jawline as he watched her walk away.

Andrea went home and after fixing herself a salad, she cleaned her flat.  As she did her laundry, she wondered what he had been about to say before he was interrupted. He looked a bit odd when she said that they were friends for life.  When I see him later, I will ask him, she decided.

Finally, she was done with her chores and it was time to head over to Liam’s place.  She took a quick shower and left the flat.  She stopped at the supermarket and picked up some groceries.  She planned to fix him something to eat.  When she got there, he was not in the house.  She went to the kitchen and quickly unpacked the groceries.   Then she went out of the back door leading to the beach where she knew she would find him.  Her toes sank in the soft sand as she went down the embankment.

Liam was leaning against a tree, dressed in a white, knitted robe.  His hair looked a bit damp.  He had been swimming.  He watched as she approached him, a curious expression on his face.

She went up to him, her eyes searching his face.  How she longed to reach up and brush the hair from his forehead.  Instead, she shoved her hands in the pockets of her capri.  “How are you holding up?” she asked.

He shrugged.  “As best as I can,” he said.  “It will take some time to get used to not having him around, though.”

“I know,” she sighed.  “It took a very long time for me to get over losing my father but time makes all the difference.  And now I have my memories of him to keep me going.  It will be the same for you but it will take some time.  And, you’re not alone. I’m here for you.”

“Thank you, Andrea.  Your being here means a lot to me.”

“I brought over some groceries.  I’ll go and fix you something to eat.”

“No, don’t go,” he said, moving away from the tree.  “Come for a walk along the beach with me.”

“All right,” she said and fell into step with him as he walked along the water’s edge. She gazed out at the swell of the waves, savoring the tangy salt air and the sensation of the wet sand oozing between her toes.  The warmth of the sun felt good on her face.  It was peaceful here.  She felt as if they were the only two people in the world.

Liam stopped suddenly and turned to her, his expression serious.  “Andrea, you and I have been friends for a very long time,” he said.  “We have been through good times and bad.”

She looked up at him, wondering where this was leading.  “Yes, we have.”

He ran his fingers through his hair as he struggled to find the words.  “What if…what if I want us to be more than friends?”

She swallowed hard.  “Is this what you started to say to me at the cemetery?” she asked.

He nodded.  “For the longest while I have wanted to broach the subject but just never got around to it until this morning.  When I looked up and saw you standing next to me, I knew I had to say something.  I want to be more than a friend to you, Andrea.  Right now, I am aching to take you in my arms and kiss you.”

She moved closer, her heart pounding and her eyes betraying her feelings.  With a deep groan, Liam pulled her against him and kissed her.  She clung to him as she surrendered to the emotions that were churning inside her.   The sun bathed them in its golden light while the foamy water swirled around their ankles.  It was a beautiful afternoon–the perfect setting for the two solitary figures who were embarking on a new chapter in their lives.

 

Love at the Library

The moment he walked into the library, he had her attention.  She had seen him a couple of times before.  He would sit at a particular table and spend the next couple of hours reading the same book.  One evening when he left the table for a brief moment, she walked by on the pretense of going over to one of the bookshelves nearby.  She paused beside the table and looked down at the book.  It was a reprint of German Atrocities:  A Record of the Shameless Deeds.   She went back to her table  and sat down just minutes before he returned to his.

One evening when she went to the library he was already there.  She saw him look up and their eyes met before she turned and went over to the book shelf nearby. She skimmed through the shelves until she found the book she wanted.  She took it out and went over to a table.  She placed her handbag on the floor beside her and opened the book.  She tried to read it but couldn’t concentrate.  Unable to resist, she raised her eyes and was startled when she saw him staring at her.  He had removed his reading glasses and they dangled from his hand.

This was a critical moment.  Everything was banking on her response.  And there were two ways she could respond.   She could quickly look away which would give him the wrong message that she wasn’t interested or she could return his stare. Summoning up all the courage she had, she held his gaze.  Something told her to smile and she did.

It seemed that this was all the encouragement he needed.  He closed his book, put his glasses in his shirt pocket and got up from the table.

As she watched him approach, her heart began to pound.  He was so gorgeous.  She couldn’t believe that he was joining her.  All these weeks, she had watched him, daydreamed about him and now here he was standing in front of her with his hand extended.  He was smiling.  “Paolo Cinelli.”

She stared into his dark brown eyes as his fingers closed around hers in a firm handshake.  “Jessica Williams.”

He pulled out the chair opposite her and sat down, placing his book on the table.  He didn’t open it.  He was looking at her.  “For a long time I have wanted to come over and talk to you but you always seemed so engrossed in what you were doing.  I didn’t want to disturb you.”

She closed her book.  It was pointless keeping it open now.  “I didn’t think you noticed me,” she said.  “You were always so absorbed in this book.  Is it very interesting?”

He glanced down at it.  “It is.  I like to read books and watch documentaries about World War II.”

“I won’t mind borrowing it when you’re done with it.”

“You can, on one condition” he said.  “Have dinner with me tomorrow.”

She stared at him.  “So, this book belongs to you?”

“Yes.  I like to read it here in the library because it’s quiet and it gives me a chance to relax after a busy day.”

“I can understand that.”

“So, will you have dinner with me tomorrow?”

“Yes.”  She wrote down her address and number on a sheet of paper and gave it to him.

“I’ll pick you up at seven.”

The library was filling up now and a couple of people sat down at the table with them.  He leaned over and asked in a low voice, “Let’s go somewhere else where we can talk and enjoy the fresh air at the same time.”

“That’s a good idea.”  She got up and put the book back on the shelf.  She grabbed her handbag and they left the library.

It was a beautiful evening.  The sun was still high in the sky and there was a gentle breeze.  He turned to her, “Let’s grab something to eat and find a spot nearby. They stopped in a nearby fast food restaurant and got a couple of burgers and milkshakes. They retraced their steps back to the library and sat down at one of the tables outside to eat.

They spent the next few hours talking and getting to know each other.  The time went quickly and when it started to get dark, that was when they decided that it was time to go.  “May I give you a ride home?” he asked.

She nodded.  “Yes, thank you.”

“Thank you for a lovely evening,  Jessica,” he said.  “I had a good time.”

“Me too.”

“I am looking forward to our date tomorrow night.”

“Me too.”  She smiled as she fell into step beside him.   Yes, she was looking forward to their dinner date tomorrow.  What a glorious day this turned out to be.

 

 

Source:  British Library

Illusive Love

Broken heart, broken dreams

Tired of casual relationships.

Walking through life, looking

for that love that seemed so

elusive.  It shimmered in the

distance like a mirage but

disappeared as she got

closer.

 

It was the love she

read about in books.  The love

she longed to experience but

it was beyond her grasp.

Every time she thought she

had found it, it turned out

to be an illusion.

 

She imagined the walks

on the beach, the holding

of hands, gazing into his

eyes, the love emanating

from them and warming

her in its glow.  The sun

casting shadows on their

faces as they stood facing

each other, the gentle breeze

caressing them and their

arms wrapped around each

other.

 

She could almost hear his gentle

laughter, the sound of the

waves rushing onto the

sand which was soft and

squishy between her toes.

And she would look at the

sailboats bobbing in the

water as she and her

love ambled along the

water’s edge, hand in

hand.  Then she would

turn to him but he was

gone.  Instead of

holding his hand, she

was holding her sandals.

She was standing there

alone on the beach.  It had

all been a dream.

 

Tired of the dreams.

She wanted the real

thing.  The temptation

to give up on love was

so powerful and many

times she almost gave

in but…she fought it

with all she had.  She

wanted to find that

one true love that she

would spend the rest

of her life with.  It was

out there somewhere.

 

So, instead of searching

for love, she would let it

find her.

 

young woman pensive

Motherhood

Dirty pampers.  Waking up at all hours to feed.

Stressful days.  Fitful sleep.  The need for adult

conversation.  Relief when Dad comes home and

takes over.  You have time for yourself now.  You

savor the moment.  You get to do what you want to do.

 

But you don’t want her to grow up too fast.  You savor

those times when you can hold her in your arms,

breathing in that baby scent, listen to her coos and

gurgling.  Feel her little head rest against you shoulder.

You savor those moments when she looks up at you

with those big, trusting eyes.  And you enjoy bathing

her, laughing as she splashes the water, wetting you.

And those moments when you bonded as you breastfed her.

 

Savor every moment you have with your precious little

one.  One of these days she will grow up and all you

will have are memories.  She will marry and have

her own family.  And then she too will experience the

joys of motherhood.

 

smiling mother and baby girl

Memories

She sat on the beach, watching

the sun set over the sea.  This

was her favorite spot.  She came

here every Father’s Day since her

Dad died six years ago.

 

She missed him terribly.

A heart attack had claimed

his life and robbed her of

the joy of having him give

her away at her wedding.

And it robbed his grandson

of knowing the most

amazing man in the world.

 

She smiled as she remembered

the times when she was a little

girl and he used to bring her

to the beach.  They would sit

facing the sea and he would

tell her all sorts of exciting

stories about pirates and their

adventures at sea.  Her

imagination would run

wild and she wished she

could be out at sea on those

ships with him.

 

For her twelfth birthday

he bought her a ship in a

bottle.  Every night before

she went to bed, she held it

in her hands as if it were the

most precious thing she had

ever seen.  It was because

it was from her Dad.

 

She still had that bottle

and whenever she saw it

she remembered her Dad

and his stories of the sea.

One day she would tell

her son about his grandfather

and bring him to this beach

which held so many wonderful

memories for her.

 

sunset (1)

Shackles

As she read the two volume autobiography of Olaudah Equiano, she was reminded of how fortunate she was.  She was a black, educated woman who was able to go to the university of her choice and become what she had always dreamed of.   She and her parents left the West Indies for a better life in America.

 

Her world was so different from Olaudah’s.  He had been kidnapped from his home in the West Indies and taken to Virginia where he was bought by a sea captain, Michael Henry  Pascal, with whom he traveled widely.  Olaudah received some education before he bought his freedom in 1766.  He became an abolitionist, speaking out against the cruelty of British slave owners in Jamaica.

 

Slavery is something she was never going to experience, but she knew what it was like to be treated differently because of the colour of her skin.  She learned that being educated, living in a stylish condo and driving an expensive car didn’t matter to those who didn’t see past her colour.  She still had to deal with being watched or ignored or followed when in certain stores or co-workers looking away as she passed them.

 

Yes, she had her own issues to deal with but they paled in comparison to Olaudah who suffered cruelty and indignity at the hands of those who wanted to keep him and the other slaves in emotional and intellectual shackles.  She was grateful to Olaudah for writing about the horrors of slavery.  It made her more determined to work harder and achieve more.  It was what drove her to pursue her Masters.  Like Olaudah, there were times when she questioned her faith but she has since learned that it is during those tough, challenging times that God has proven that she has the mettle to overcome them.

 

Yes, she had come a long way with God’s help but there was still a long way to go. Little by little she was going to break free from the racist mentalities that would like to keep blacks shackled to the painful past of slavery.

 

“After all, what makes any event important, unless by its observation we become better and wiser, and learn ‘to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly before God?'” – Olaudah Equiano

 

Cartoon image of woman reading book

 

Sources:  WikipediaBritannica; Daily Kos