A New Chapter

Andrea waited until he was alone and then she went over to him.  He stood looking down at the grave, his face pale.  Her heart was heavy and she wanted so much to put her arms around him.  He looked up when she was standing beside him.  She didn’t say anything.  Words were not necessary.  The expression on her face adequately conveyed her sympathy.   He reached for her hand and drew her closer to his side.  “Stay with me for a while,” he said, his eyes filled with pain.  He and his father had been close.  They had been there for each other since his mother died when he was six.  Now, both of them were gone.

Andrea stood there with him, the tears silently rolling down her face and her hand clasped firmly in his. She would stay there with him for as long as he needed her to.  She glanced at him, wondering if he had any idea of how much she love him and wanted to take away the pain he was feeling.  She knew what it was like to lose a parent.  It was devastating.  She still missed her own father.  She wished he had been alive when she met Liam.  They would have gotten along very well.  They were so similar in many ways.

She met Liam at a mutual friend’s barbecue and they hit it off.  They became fast friends and spent a lot of time together.  From the very beginning she had been wildly attracted to him and those feelings evolved into the love that burned in her heart now.  She wasn’t sure how long she would be able to hide her feelings from him but their friendship meant the world to her so she did her best not to jeopardize it.

He turned to her now.  “Thank you for being here,” he said.

She brushed the tears away from her cheeks.  “Where else would I be?” she asked.  “We’re friends for life, remember?”

His eyes were restless on her face.  “Friends,” he repeated softly.  “Andrea, what if–?” he started to say when a few of the other mourners joined them.

She reached up and kissed him on the cheek.  “I’ll come by and see you later,” she promised.

He nodded and released her hand.  A muscle throbbed along his jawline as he watched her walk away.

Andrea went home and after fixing herself a salad, she cleaned her flat.  As she did her laundry, she wondered what he had been about to say before he was interrupted. He looked a bit odd when she said that they were friends for life.  When I see him later, I will ask him, she decided.

Finally, she was done with her chores and it was time to head over to Liam’s place.  She took a quick shower and left the flat.  She stopped at the supermarket and picked up some groceries.  She planned to fix him something to eat.  When she got there, he was not in the house.  She went to the kitchen and quickly unpacked the groceries.   Then she went out of the back door leading to the beach where she knew she would find him.  Her toes sank in the soft sand as she went down the embankment.

Liam was leaning against a tree, dressed in a white, knitted robe.  His hair looked a bit damp.  He had been swimming.  He watched as she approached him, a curious expression on his face.

She went up to him, her eyes searching his face.  How she longed to reach up and brush the hair from his forehead.  Instead, she shoved her hands in the pockets of her capri.  “How are you holding up?” she asked.

He shrugged.  “As best as I can,” he said.  “It will take some time to get used to not having him around, though.”

“I know,” she sighed.  “It took a very long time for me to get over losing my father but time makes all the difference.  And now I have my memories of him to keep me going.  It will be the same for you but it will take some time.  And, you’re not alone. I’m here for you.”

“Thank you, Andrea.  Your being here means a lot to me.”

“I brought over some groceries.  I’ll go and fix you something to eat.”

“No, don’t go,” he said, moving away from the tree.  “Come for a walk along the beach with me.”

“All right,” she said and fell into step with him as he walked along the water’s edge. She gazed out at the swell of the waves, savoring the tangy salt air and the sensation of the wet sand oozing between her toes.  The warmth of the sun felt good on her face.  It was peaceful here.  She felt as if they were the only two people in the world.

Liam stopped suddenly and turned to her, his expression serious.  “Andrea, you and I have been friends for a very long time,” he said.  “We have been through good times and bad.”

She looked up at him, wondering where this was leading.  “Yes, we have.”

He ran his fingers through his hair as he struggled to find the words.  “What if…what if I want us to be more than friends?”

She swallowed hard.  “Is this what you started to say to me at the cemetery?” she asked.

He nodded.  “For the longest while I have wanted to broach the subject but just never got around to it until this morning.  When I looked up and saw you standing next to me, I knew I had to say something.  I want to be more than a friend to you, Andrea.  Right now, I am aching to take you in my arms and kiss you.”

She moved closer, her heart pounding and her eyes betraying her feelings.  With a deep groan, Liam pulled her against him and kissed her.  She clung to him as she surrendered to the emotions that were churning inside her.   The sun bathed them in its golden light while the foamy water swirled around their ankles.  It was a beautiful afternoon–the perfect setting for the two solitary figures who were embarking on a new chapter in their lives.

 

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Love at the Library

The moment he walked into the library, he had her attention.  She had seen him a couple of times before.  He would sit at a particular table and spend the next couple of hours reading the same book.  One evening when he left the table for a brief moment, she walked by on the pretense of going over to one of the bookshelves nearby.  She paused beside the table and looked down at the book.  It was a reprint of German Atrocities:  A Record of the Shameless Deeds.   She went back to her table  and sat down just minutes before he returned to his.

One evening when she went to the library he was already there.  She saw him look up and their eyes met before she turned and went over to the book shelf nearby. She skimmed through the shelves until she found the book she wanted.  She took it out and went over to a table.  She placed her handbag on the floor beside her and opened the book.  She tried to read it but couldn’t concentrate.  Unable to resist, she raised her eyes and was startled when she saw him staring at her.  He had removed his reading glasses and they dangled from his hand.

This was a critical moment.  Everything was banking on her response.  And there were two ways she could respond.   She could quickly look away which would give him the wrong message that she wasn’t interested or she could return his stare. Summoning up all the courage she had, she held his gaze.  Something told her to smile and she did.

It seemed that this was all the encouragement he needed.  He closed his book, put his glasses in his shirt pocket and got up from the table.

As she watched him approach, her heart began to pound.  He was so gorgeous.  She couldn’t believe that he was joining her.  All these weeks, she had watched him, daydreamed about him and now here he was standing in front of her with his hand extended.  He was smiling.  “Paolo Cinelli.”

She stared into his dark brown eyes as his fingers closed around hers in a firm handshake.  “Jessica Williams.”

He pulled out the chair opposite her and sat down, placing his book on the table.  He didn’t open it.  He was looking at her.  “For a long time I have wanted to come over and talk to you but you always seemed so engrossed in what you were doing.  I didn’t want to disturb you.”

She closed her book.  It was pointless keeping it open now.  “I didn’t think you noticed me,” she said.  “You were always so absorbed in this book.  Is it very interesting?”

He glanced down at it.  “It is.  I like to read books and watch documentaries about World War II.”

“I won’t mind borrowing it when you’re done with it.”

“You can, on one condition” he said.  “Have dinner with me tomorrow.”

She stared at him.  “So, this book belongs to you?”

“Yes.  I like to read it here in the library because it’s quiet and it gives me a chance to relax after a busy day.”

“I can understand that.”

“So, will you have dinner with me tomorrow?”

“Yes.”  She wrote down her address and number on a sheet of paper and gave it to him.

“I’ll pick you up at seven.”

The library was filling up now and a couple of people sat down at the table with them.  He leaned over and asked in a low voice, “Let’s go somewhere else where we can talk and enjoy the fresh air at the same time.”

“That’s a good idea.”  She got up and put the book back on the shelf.  She grabbed her handbag and they left the library.

It was a beautiful evening.  The sun was still high in the sky and there was a gentle breeze.  He turned to her, “Let’s grab something to eat and find a spot nearby. They stopped in a nearby fast food restaurant and got a couple of burgers and milkshakes. They retraced their steps back to the library and sat down at one of the tables outside to eat.

They spent the next few hours talking and getting to know each other.  The time went quickly and when it started to get dark, that was when they decided that it was time to go.  “May I give you a ride home?” he asked.

She nodded.  “Yes, thank you.”

“Thank you for a lovely evening,  Jessica,” he said.  “I had a good time.”

“Me too.”

“I am looking forward to our date tomorrow night.”

“Me too.”  She smiled as she fell into step beside him.   Yes, she was looking forward to their dinner date tomorrow.  What a glorious day this turned out to be.

 

 

Source:  British Library

Illusive Love

Broken heart, broken dreams

Tired of casual relationships.

Walking through life, looking

for that love that seemed so

elusive.  It shimmered in the

distance like a mirage but

disappeared as she got

closer.

 

It was the love she

read about in books.  The love

she longed to experience but

it was beyond her grasp.

Every time she thought she

had found it, it turned out

to be an illusion.

 

She imagined the walks

on the beach, the holding

of hands, gazing into his

eyes, the love emanating

from them and warming

her in its glow.  The sun

casting shadows on their

faces as they stood facing

each other, the gentle breeze

caressing them and their

arms wrapped around each

other.

 

She could almost hear his gentle

laughter, the sound of the

waves rushing onto the

sand which was soft and

squishy between her toes.

And she would look at the

sailboats bobbing in the

water as she and her

love ambled along the

water’s edge, hand in

hand.  Then she would

turn to him but he was

gone.  Instead of

holding his hand, she

was holding her sandals.

She was standing there

alone on the beach.  It had

all been a dream.

 

Tired of the dreams.

She wanted the real

thing.  The temptation

to give up on love was

so powerful and many

times she almost gave

in but…she fought it

with all she had.  She

wanted to find that

one true love that she

would spend the rest

of her life with.  It was

out there somewhere.

 

So, instead of searching

for love, she would let it

find her.

 

Motherhood

Dirty pampers.  Waking up at all hours to feed.

Stressful days.  Fitful sleep.  The need for adult

conversation.  Relief when Dad comes home and

takes over.  You have time for yourself now.  You

savor the moment.  You get to do what you want to do.

 

But you don’t want her to grow up too fast.  You savor

those times when you can hold her in your arms,

breathing in that baby scent, listen to her coos and

gurgling.  Feel her little head rest against you shoulder.

You savor those moments when she looks up at you

with those big, trusting eyes.  And you enjoy bathing

her, laughing as she splashes the water, wetting you.

And those moments when you bonded as you breastfed her.

 

Savor every moment you have with your precious little

one.  One of these days she will grow up and all you

will have are memories.  She will marry and have

her own family.  And then she too will experience the

joys of motherhood.

 

Memories

She sat on the beach, watching

the sun set over the sea.  This

was her favorite spot.  She came

here every Father’s Day since her

Dad died six years ago.

 

She missed him terribly.

A heart attack had claimed

his life and robbed her of

the joy of having him give

her away at her wedding.

And it robbed his grandson

of knowing the most

amazing man in the world.

 

She smiled as she remembered

the times when she was a little

girl and he used to bring her

to the beach.  They would sit

facing the sea and he would

tell her all sorts of exciting

stories about pirates and their

adventures at sea.  Her

imagination would run

wild and she wished she

could be out at sea on those

ships with him.

 

For her twelfth birthday

he bought her a ship in a

bottle.  Every night before

she went to bed, she held it

in her hands as if it were the

most precious thing she had

ever seen.  It was because

it was from her Dad.

 

She still had that bottle

and whenever she saw it

she remembered her Dad

and his stories of the sea.

One day she would tell

her son about his grandfather

and bring him to this beach

which held so many wonderful

memories for her.

 

Shackles

As she read the two volume autobiography of Olaudah Equiano, she was reminded of how fortunate she was.  She was a black, educated woman who was able to go to the university of her choice and become what she had always dreamed of.   She and her parents left the West Indies for a better life in America.

 

Her world was so different from Olaudah’s.  He had been kidnapped from his home in the West Indies and taken to Virginia where he was bought by a sea captain, Michael Henry  Pascal, with whom he traveled widely.  Olaudah received some education before he bought his freedom in 1766.  He became an abolitionist, speaking out against the cruelty of British slave owners in Jamaica.

 

Slavery is something she was never going to experience, but she knew what it was like to be treated differently because of the colour of her skin.  She learned that being educated, living in a stylish condo and driving an expensive car didn’t matter to those who didn’t see past her colour.  She still had to deal with being watched or ignored or followed when in certain stores or co-workers looking away as she passed them.

 

Yes, she had her own issues to deal with but they paled in comparison to Olaudah who suffered cruelty and indignity at the hands of those who wanted to keep him and the other slaves in emotional and intellectual shackles.  She was grateful to Olaudah for writing about the horrors of slavery.  It made her more determined to work harder and achieve more.  It was what drove her to pursue her Masters.  Like Olaudah, there were times when she questioned her faith but she has since learned that it is during those tough, challenging times that God has proven that she has the mettle to overcome them.

 

Yes, she had come a long way with God’s help but there was still a long way to go. Little by little she was going to break free from the racist mentalities that would like to keep blacks shackled to the painful past of slavery.

 

“After all, what makes any event important, unless by its observation we become better and wiser, and learn ‘to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly before God?'” – Olaudah Equiano

 

 

Sources:  Wikipedia; Britannica; Daily Kos

 

God Provides

Psalm 104

Last week Sunday my family and I watched The Great Migration, part of BBC’s Nature’s Great Events series narrated by David Attenborough. It was set in the Serengeti.  Each year the Serengeti grasslands are teeming with wildebeest and zebra, making it a paradise for the predators that live there.  As long as these animals were around, the lions were able to eat and feed their young. The Ntudu pride flourished when prey was around but they were soon to experience hardship.

There are times in our lives when there is plenty.  We have all that we need.  We have nothing to worry about.  Life is great.  Then, the tough times come.  For the lions it was when the wildebeest left for greener pastures leaving them behind to struggle to find enough food for their hungry young.

The lions got so skinny, you could see their ribs and bones protruding from their skin and a couple of them were mangy. There was no water to drink.  The earth was parched because there was no rain. Some of them died because they hadn’t eaten for months.  It was sad to see.  During our tough times, it seems like no relief is in sight.  We don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.  We become discouraged.  We lose hope. How must the lion pride have felt as they became emaciated and watched the number of cubs dwindle to two.  We might think that they are just animals but animals experience pain and loss too.  I will never forget the cub who lingered by her brother’s side after he had died or the mother who left her cub in her sister’s care before she went off somewhere and died.

As a parent, I can’t imagine seeing my child starving and not being able to feed him. I can’t help but think of Hagar when she and Ishmael were sent away.  The water ran out and when Hagar thought that Ishmael might die from the lack of water and food, she put him under a shrub and sat some distance from him, saying to herself. “Let me not see the death of the boy.” She sat opposite where he was and wept.  It was at that moment when God intervened.  He does not give us more than we can bear.  He heard the cry of Ishmael and responded.  He opened Hagar’s eyes so she could see the well.  She drew water from it and gave it to her son.  God hears our cries and He responds.

Just when it seemed like things could not get worse for the lion pride, the rain came.  It was a welcome sight, seeing the big droplets as they fell on the predators.  Then the wildebeest and zebra returned. Once again, the grasslands were teeming with life.  God was providing for them.

These all wait upon You, that You may give them their food in due season.  When You give it to them, they gather it; when You open Your hand, they are filled with good food (Psalm 104:27, 28).

When you  are going through tough times, wait on the Lord.  Trust in Him and in due season, He will bring you through the storm.