Teenage Dating Violence

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My husband and I are watching Greenleaf, the Oprah Winfrey series on Netflix.  I think that if you were to look up the word, dysfunctional in the dictionary, you would see a photo of the Greenleaf family.  They give new meaning to the word.  There are so many issues and skeletons in that family that it makes you appreciate the family you have.

The issue I want to address is teenage dating violence.  One of the Greenleafs, Zora, is dating a pop singer named, Isaiah.  It turns out that Isaiah is abusive.  He flies off the handle and gets verbally and physically abusive.  He got angry with Zora when her mother found a condom in her drawer.  Her arms have bruises which she hides by wearing long sleeve tops.

Whenever he gets physical with her (grabbing, pushing, slapping), he apologizes and promises never to do it again until the next time.  It was the usual cycle in an abusive relationship.  You have the “I’m sorry.  I won’t do it again”, “You make me act like this” and “I love you so much.”  What is sad is that the victim keeps forgiving the abuser and things continue to get worse.  He continues to abuse her and she seems powerless to do anything about it.  He tells her he loves her, makes promises and she believes him and continues seeing him.

No one knew about the abuse until Zora’s cousin Sophia saw Isaiah hit her.  Sophia went and told Zora’s father, “I just saw Isaiah hit Zora.”  Immediately, Jacob went to find Isaiah and punched him.  Zora was angry with Sophia for telling her Dad.  What do you do when you see a friend or loved one being abused?  Do you keep quiet because speaking up could jeopardize your relationship or do you put the welfare of the person above your relationship?  Did Sophia do the right thing?  In my opinion, she did.

But the story doesn’t end there.  Zora runs off with Isaiah but is found, thankfully.  We don’t know what became of Isaiah.  I hope he gets help.  As for Zora, she needs counseling.  She needs to understand that love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, not selfish or rude or demand its own way (like pressuring her into having sex) (1 Corinthians 13:4, 5, TLB).  If Isaiah loved her, he would treat her with respect.  He wouldn’t bully or try to control her.  He would respect her family as well.  Every family has ground rules and Zora’s was no different.  There was one occasion when Zora’s father found Isaiah and her in her bedroom.  After the father dealt with him, he had to leave.  Sophia’s boyfriend and Isaiah are as different as night and day.  Sophia is enjoying a healthy relationship while Zora was dealing with an abusive one.  

How can you tell if your teenager is in an abusive relationship? Here are seven signs:

  • Your child’s intimate partner is extremely jealous or possessive to the point where your child stops spending time with other friends and family. If someone questions your child about this, the response might be something like, “She thinks my friends don’t like her, so she doesn’t like spending time around them,” or “She thinks they’re a bad influence on me and she’s just trying to help.”
  • You see unexplained marks or bruises on your child.
  • You notice your son or daughter is depressed or anxious.
  • Your child stops participating in extracurricular or other interests like gaming or even shopping.
  • Your child begins to dress differently. One example: he or she wears loose clothing because the partner doesn’t like him/her to “show off” his/her body or attract someone else’s attention.
  • Your child worries when he or she can’t text or call the partner back immediately, saying that the partner might get upset.
  • Your child expresses fear about the way his or her partner might react in a given situation.

What do you do if you suspect that your teen is in an unhealthy (abusive) relationship?  Here are 11 steps:

  1. Be observant and look for signs.
  2. Calmly start a conversation with your teen.
  3. Be supportive of their situation.
  4. Focus on the unhealthy behaviors.
  5. Keep the conversation friendly, not preachy.
  6. Don’t place the blame on them.
  7. Allow your child to make their own decision.
  8. Offer solutions to them.
  9. If there’s any risk of danger, call the police.
  10. Expect more conversations in the future.
  11. Don’t get discouraged if they refuse to talk to you.

I see that in season 3 of Greenleaf, Zora will get back together with Isaiah.  But, hope is on the horizon.  It looks like she will come to her senses and dump him for good.

If you have a teenage daughter, let her know that she is precious and of great value and that she deserves to be with a guy who can appreciate her.

Sources:  National Domestic Violence Hotline; Grown & Flown

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Ming’s Solution

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“What’s this, Ming?” Chang asked his daughter, referring to the milk carton with the antenna sticking out of it.

“It’s a smog exterminator,” she replied.

“How does it work?”

“All you have to do is turn on the switch here,” she said, turning the box around to show him a black piece of tape stuck on the back.  “Then, you press this button.”  She turned the box back around and pressed the picture of the cow.  “A mist comes out of the tower here.”  She pointed to the antenna.  “When the mist touches the smog, it dissolves it, making the air cleaner and breathable.  So what do you think?”

“Very impressive.”

“I care about our environment so, I’m trying to come up with different solutions.  This is my latest.”

“I’m very proud of you, Ming.  I’ve no doubt that one of these days you’ll succeed in improving our environment.” Too bad, I won’t live to see it.  The doctor had informed him that he had only six months left.

“Dad, you’re crying.”

173 Words

This was written as part of Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers hosted by Priceless Joy. For more information visit Here.  To read the other stories based on this week’s prompt, visit Here.

WHO: Dementia – It Affects Us All

According to the World Health Organization (WHO):

  • Dementia is a significant global health challenge. It is estimated that over 47 million people are living with the condition today.
  • Nearly 60% of people living with dementia today live in low- and middle-income countries.
  • In 2010, the cost to society was estimated to be US$ 604 billion (or 1% of the world’s gross domestic product).

WHO believes that the number of people with Dementia will nearly triple by the year 2050.  Next week, the organization is bringing a high-level group from 70 countries to discuss solutions.

Check out their latest video on what it is like to live with Dementia, how it impacts not only those suffering with it but their families.

Hungry For Change

I got the following email telling me about a film titled, Hungry For Change.  I haven’t watched it as yet but plan to sometime tonight.  I encourage you to watch it with your families and friends.

We all want more energy and healthy bodies. So what’s stopping us from getting there? From the creators of the groundbreaking documentary Food Matters comes another hard-hitting film certain to rock your world. Hungry for Change exposes the secrets of the diet and food industry, and how their deceptive strategies keep you craving more and more. Today marks the worldwide premiere of Hungry for Change, and you can watch it online for FREE until March 31st. Check it out today!

http://www.hungryforchange.tv/fresh

In this movie, you’ll hear the truth behind “diet,” “sugar-free,” and “fat-free” products, and learn what to avoid in your supermarket. You’ll be inspired by transformational stories from people who have recovered from being sick and overweight. You’ll find the solutions to vibrant health for yourself and your family. So, watch the movie and share the knowledge with a friend–it may save a life!

http://www.hungryforchange.tv/fresh

To a more energetic you,

Ana and Crystal
The FRESH Team

Bad Posture

Growing up my mother always used to say to me, “Hold up your back” because I slouched.  You would think that going to ballet classes would have helped.  It didn’t.  Years later I was still slouching or hunched over my keyboard as I was typing.   My fiance used to be on my case.  He scolded me every time he saw me slouching.   He said that I had a muscle in the middle of my back which should not be there.  And it’s no wonder that I have back problems. 

Well, my back problem didn’t actually start because of my slouching.  It happened one summer when I was in London with my mother.  I was going down or up some steps (I can’t remember which) and I stumbled.  I reached down and tried to break my fall.  I must have done something to my back because it hurt so much that we had to go into a church so that I can sit down and rest.  I should have had it checked then.

After that incident, my back ached periodically when I stood too long or when I went shopping.  It felt as if a weight was pressing into it.  I had my doctor check it and there wasn’t anything wrong–that he could find.  It has gotten better now.  It aches now and then. 

Last night I thought about what bad posture does to women and decided that I would find out. 

Bad posture creates a number of conditions that result from pulling on neck, shoulder and back muscles. The downward motion created from poor posture pulls throat, abdominal and even leg muscles. Good posture that aligns the shoulders with the hips minimizes stress on the joints and connective tissues in the legs and hips and enables the body to operate at maximum efficiency. 

Bad posture not only creates a poor silhouette, it can cause additional problems such as back pain, headaches and TMJ disorder. Temporomandibular joint and muscle disorder, also called TMJ, is a condition that causes pain in the jaw. Chiropractors at Chiroeco report that poor posture can lead to a hunched back and create breathing difficulties since the diaphragm doesn’t have enough room to expand. Muscles that tire easily from supporting the back can lead to increased fatigue. Additionally, poor posture makes women look older (http://www.livestrong.com/article/90412-bad-posture-women/#ixzz1F08TGdny).

These are the problems.  Now what are the solutions? I came across another website which tells you in detail how to correct your posture.  It gives you a test to figure out if you have a good posture.  How you stand, sleep, sit is very important.  Read more http://www.elegantwoman.org/correcting-bad-posture.html

Ladies, it’s time for us to stop slouching and to stand tall.  Not only would this be good for our posture but also for our health.

The Benefits of Education

I am so thankful that I was born and raised in a country where education was easily accessible.  My gender was not a factor in the quality of education I received as it is, unfortunately in some countries.  I learned History, Geography, Social Studies, French and I loved English.  My interest in writing began when I was in school. 

I read a post today about the benefits of education.  On a recent visit to the UAE, Penny Low, Singapore’s People Action Party member, explained how women can become productive members of the society through “education, empowerment and enhancement” that will benefit the community at large.

She said it is the realisation that what one makes of circumstances and situation that makes life fulfilling, especially changes for the betterment of all, specifically the marginalised.

Low then explained what social innovation is and how women can contribute to the social cause to strengthen the community and the civil society. 

Low said that women can only contribute to the social cause when they are open to their surrounding and observe what is going around them, adding that there is a rise of a global concern for “green and ecologically-friendly” lifestyle. 

Low used Florence Nightingale, a celebrated English nurse, to demonstrate how her nursing care during the 1850s Crimean War evolved into the nursing profession today.  I can think of another example–Eva Smith. 

Eva Smith was a community outreach worker and counsellor who knew and understood people in despair, particularly youth. She was a woman of action, determination and persistence.

In 1987, she helped to found the North York Emergency Home for Youth. Her work and advocacy resulted in the construction of our first shelter, Eva’s Place, which was named in her honour. Eva Smith’s mission was to use her skills and her knowledge of how the social services system works to help people find solutions to their problems (http://evasinitiatives.com/who.php). 

“Each one of us has potentials inside,” Low said, pointing out that with social innovation comes the responsibility to propagate the three “D’s” namely education, empowerment and enhancement.  She urged women to use their potential.  “People work for a living and live for a cause. Woman or man, find your cause, and live it to the fullest.” (http://gulftoday.ae/portal/1cb93e89-b52a-444a-80d0-0b3cdb88fbe3.aspx).

There is the old adage that “a mind is a terrible thing to waste”.  I urge the women to educate themselves, find interests, passions, causes, keeping in mind that they are building themselves up to be pillars of strength and inspiration for their communities.  Take Eva’s initiative and use your skills and knowledge to make a difference.