Denying Love

Chase just finished having dinner with his girlfriend, Mia at her flat when his cell rang.  He plucked it out of his breast pocket and flipped it open, grimacing when he saw the number displayed.  “Hello, Alexa.”

“Hi, Chase, I’m sorry to be bothering you but I’m stuck here.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m outside of nightclub.  Chase, I hate to do this but could you come and pick me up?”

“What about Shawn?” Shawn was his brother who was married to Alexa’s sister, Karyn.

“They are in Florida for March break.”

“Did you go to the club alone?”

“No, I came with my friends.”

“So, why can’t one of them take you home?”

“They met some guys they really like and they don’t want to leave.”

“What about taking a cab?”

“I don’t have enough money for a taxi.  Chase, I’m really sorry to be putting you out like this but I have no other choice.”

He sighed.  “All right, I will come and get you.”

“Thanks, Chase.  I really appreciate this.  I’ll be waiting out front.”

“Where’s this club located?”  There was a pause as he listened.  “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”  He rang off and snapped his phone shut before shoving it in his pocket, his eyes apologetic as they met Mia’s.  “I’m sorry,” he said to her.

“When are you going to stop letting Alexa take advantage of you?” she demanded.  “All she has to do is call you and you drop everything and go to her.”

Chase got up from the table.  “No one takes advantage of me,” he muttered tightly.  “She’s stranded and I’m just helping her out.”

She watched him suspiciously.  “Are you sure there’s nothing going on between you two?” she asked.  “It’s no secret that she has a thing for you but what about you? Do you have feelings for her?”

“Alexa is family,” he replied evasively.  “I really hate to eat and run but I have to go.  I will call you tomorrow.”  He walked over to her and kissed her on the lips before he let himself out of the flat.

On the ride down in the elevator, he thought about what she said.  If he were honest with himself, he would admit that he would do anything for Alexa and it wasn’t because she was family.  From the moment they first met ten years ago at Shawn’s wedding, he wanted her.  He tried to deny it because she was seventeen at the time and he was engaged.  Like Mia, Janet suspected that his feelings for Alexa were not platonic and she broke off the engagement.  She refused to marry a man who had feelings for someone else.  He had no idea how she could have suspected anything when he had tried so hard to hide his feelings, especially from Alexa herself.

Then he remembered that one unguarded moment when he thought that Alexa and he were alone.  As he started the engine, his thoughts went back to that evening two years ago.  It was at the family’s annual summer dinner and dance held at the family estate.  They had just finished having dinner and some of the guests were enjoying cocktails while others were dancing.  He wasn’t in the mood for dancing but Janet wanted to.  He accommodated her for a while and then excused himself.

He went out on to the terrace, thankful to be out in the fresh air—it was beginning to get a bit stuffy inside.   He leaned over the balustrade, gazing down at the courtyard which was illuminated in the bright sunshine.  It would be another hour or so before the sun set.  He didn’t hear her come up behind him until she was standing next to him.  “It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?” she remarked, leaning against the balustrade, facing the direction she had just come from.

He straightened up at once, his expression guarded as he turned his head toward her.  “Is that why you’re out here instead of in there with what’s his name?”

“You mean Nigel.  I left him talking to Shawn.”

“Is it serious between him and you?” It was foolish of him to ask her that but he couldn’t help it.

“No,” she said, sounding surprised that he would ask such a question.  “We’re just friends.”

“I’ve seen the way he acts around you, Alexa.  He wants to be more than friends.” And who could blame him?  Unable to resist, his gaze traveled over her.  She looked stunning in the ankle length, black dress with the spaghetti straps and slit on the right side.  Her hair was in an up do, giving her an elegant look.  She looked older than nineteen.

“I’ll have to have a talk with him, then.”

“I’d better head back in,” he said.

“Why?” she asked, her head cocked to one side as she stared at him.  “Will Janet come looking for you if you’re not by her side in five minutes?”

He pursed his lips.  “I won’t stand here and listen to you make fun of Janet.”

“I’m not making fun of her.  She doesn’t like me.”

“And why should she dislike you?”

“Maybe she thinks that there’s something going on between us.”

“That’s ridiculous,” he exclaimed.

“What’s so ridiculous about it?” she demanded.

“I’m engaged.”

“So?  That doesn’t prevent me from being attracted to you and I’ve noticed the way you look at me sometimes.  Chase…”

“I’d better go back inside.”

“What are you afraid of?” she asked, moving so that she was standing in front of him.

His expression was tense.  “I’m not afraid of anything,” he muttered tightly.  His heart was pounding heavily.

“Why are you leaving, then?  Stay out here with me for a while longer, please, Chase.  It has been a while since we spent any time together.  I’ve been waiting all evening to be alone with you.  I saw you come out here and I followed you.” She moved closer.

“Alexa,” her name was a strangled whisper now and his hands, as if of their own volition, caught her by the shoulders and instead of moving her out of the way so that he could walk past her, he was pulling her toward him.  He saw her eyes drop to his lips, her own parting as he lowered his head to kiss her…

“There you are,” Janet’s voice was a bucket of cold water doused on them and they broke apart.  When she reached them, she looked from one to the other.  Then, putting her hand on his arm, she said, “I would like to leave now.  I’m feeling a bit under the weather.  I’ve already said our goodbyes to everyone so we can leave this way.”

He looked at Alexa, reluctant to leave her.  “Goodnight, Alexa,” he said quietly.

“Goodnight, Chase.”

Janet didn’t say anything to her and as soon as they got into the car, she said to him, “When I came out on the terrace, I interrupted something that was going on between Alexa and you, didn’t I?”

He looked at her but didn’t answer.  What could he say?  He couldn’t lie and say that she was imagining things.  They didn’t speak until they were parked outside of her building.

She turned to him.  “I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you but I want it to stop,” she said.

He stared at her.  “What do you mean?”

“I want you to stop seeing Alexa, Chase.”

“But, she’s family—”

“She’s Shawn’s family not yours.  He’s the one who married into her family.”

“Janet, you’re being unreasonable—”

I’m being unreasonable?” she exclaimed, incensed.  “What about you?  Every time I turn around you are with her.  She throws herself at you and you encourage her.  Chase, she’s nineteen years old.  She’s not even in university.  And what about us?  We are supposed to be planning our future together.  You’ve let Alexa come between us and I won’t stand for it anymore.  You have a choice to make.  It’s either her or me.”

He raked his fingers through his hair, his mind racing.  Finally, he muttered, “Janet, I’m sorry…”

She met his gaze for a moment, her eyes shining and then she slipped the ring off her finger.  She took his hand and pressed it into his palm before closing it.  “Goodbye, Chase.”  She turned, pushed open the door and walked out of his life.

For several minutes, he sat there, feeling awful because he hurt her.  He slipped the ring in the breast pocket of his jacket and fired up the engine.  After the break-up, he tried to stay away from Alexa but he couldn’t for very long.  He avoided being alone with her, though, because he was afraid that almost happened on the terrace would happen again.  He dated several women but nothing serious came of it.  Then, a year ago he met Mia, a Software Developer, whom he hoped would help him to get Alexa out of his system but it was no use.  He was in love with her and there was nothing he could do about it.

And here he was driving to a nightclub to pick up Alexa instead of relaxing with Mia after a romantic dinner.  Admit it, you would rather be with Alexa than with Mia or any other woman.  She was waiting outside on the building for him and when she saw him get out, she hurried over.  “I’m so glad to see you,” she said as he opened the door for her.  She saw his eyes travel over her figure in the black off the shoulder dress before she got in and he closed the door.  “I’m sorry you had to come and get me,” she added when he climbed in behind the wheel.  Her eyes flickered over him, thinking how sexy he looked in the white shirt which accentuated his swarthy complexion and how she would like to run her fingers through his thick dark hair.

“When you called I had just finished having dinner with Mia.  We were going to relax and watch a movie or something.”

Jealousy consumed her at the thought of the two them having a romantic, candlelight dinner at Mia’s place.  “I bet she wasn’t at all happy about you coming for me.  She doesn’t like me.”

“You said the same thing about Janet.”

“I’m happy you didn’t marry her.  She was all wrong for you.”

“What about Mia?”

“She’s not right for you, Chase.”

“And I suppose you know who’s right for me?”

“Yes.  I’ve known it for a very long time.”

His hands gripped the steering wheel.  “And who might this woman be?”

She looked at him.  “Me,” she said huskily.  “I’m right for you, Chase.  I’ve loved you for ten years.  It hurt seeing you with other women but I refused to give up.  I know that you have feelings for me.  I’ve seen the way you look at me and in spite of what you say, I know that you want to me with me as much as I want to be with you.  You didn’t love Janet and you don’t love Mia.”

They were at a stop light and he turned to her.  “You’re right,” he admitted.  “When I met you I realized that I didn’t love Janet and marrying her would have been a terrible mistake.  I care for Mia but I don’t love her.”

She reached out and touched his face.  “I love you, Chase.”

“I love you too, Alexa,” he muttered thickly before he leaned over and kissed her.  Her hands held his face as she responded wildly to his kisses.  This lasted until a horn blared behind them, forcing them to break apart.  “I loved you the moment I first saw you,” he admitted as he drove through the intersection that would take them to her apartment building.

She leaned her head back against the car seat, her senses swimming.  What she had hoped for and dreamed of had finally come true.  Chase loved her.  When they pulled into the parking lot and left the car, she slipped her hand in his, lacing her fingers through his.  After she let them into her flat and locked the door, she turned to him.

Wordlessly, they fell into each other’s arms and as they exchanged passionate kisses, he thought how true the words, “True love cannot be found where it does not exist, nor can it be denied where it does.” 

 

 

Source:  Brainy Quote

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Summer in Surrey

It was summer and Diane was spending it in Surrey with Maggie, her friend from university.  Maggie’s parents had gone to Florida for their vacation but her brother, Rupert remained at the mansion.  The first time Diane and he met, it was quite by accident.

It was on the morning after she arrived from London.  She was trying to find the drawing-room but found herself in the library.  Forgetting her dilemma at the moment, she walked over to the shelves of books, her eyes traveling over the thick volumes, textbooks, Encyclopedias and literature. Her eyes spotted a collection of writings by Jane Austen. She was about to pull it out when she became aware that someone else was in the room. She turned.

It was Rupert. “I don’t believe I know you,” he said, quickly closing the distance between them.  He stopped a short distance from her, his green eyes searching her face, his expression quizzical.

For a moment she was distracted by his looks. Tall, slender, thick dark hair with a few strands falling across his forehead. He was incredibly handsome. He was dressed casually in a white shirt and grey slacks. “I’m Diane, Maggie’s friend from university.” She held out her hand and it was clasped in a firm grip. “It’s good to meet you, Rupert. Maggie has told me so much about you.”

He released her hand but his eyes stayed on her face. “She did mention that she was bringing a friend to spend the summer holidays here.”

She glanced around the room. “You have a very fine library here,” she commented. “I was on my way to the drawing-room but ended up here instead. I’m glad I did. I was looking at the books when you came in. I saw several that I would like to read. I hope you don’t mind me being here.”

He turned away then. “You are free to come in here whenever you like,” he said. “This is the time when I usually come to catch up on my reading.  To get to the drawing-room, just turn right and it’s at the end of the hallway.”

He went over to one of the book shelves and took down a large book and walking over to the armchair, he sat down. He opened the book, signaling that their conversation was over. She turned and walked out of the room, thinking to herself that he and Maggie were as different as night and day.  That was several weeks ago. Since then, they hadn’t interacted much and when they did it seemed stilted.

On Saturday evening she and Maggie were standing in the circular driveway, waiting for a taxi when the front door opened and Rupert stepped out.  He paused when he saw them.   “Diane and I are going to the theater with Andrew and William,” Maggie informed him.  “We are going for dinner afterwards.”

Rupert stiffened, his gaze shifted to Diane.  “I hope you enjoy your date,” he said coldly.  “I too have an engagement.  Good evening.”  He strode off, his back straight as a rod.  A couple of minutes later, his Rolls-Royce drove past them.

Diane watched the car until it was out of sight, her heart heavy.  She wondered whom he had an engagement with.  Was it Ava?  Ava was the beautiful blonde she had seen at the mansion with Rupert a few times.  Maggie had assured her that they were just friends.  Still, the thought of him going out with Ava now filled her with pain and jealousy.

Of course, she didn’t enjoy the theater or dinner. All she could think about was Rupert and how he looked when Maggie told him about their double date.  On the ride home, Diane hardly said a word.  A couple of times, Maggie asked her what was wrong but she told her that she was tired.  She left Maggie in the drawing-room and headed for her room.  She was at the foot of the stairs when she heard the key turn in the lock.  It was Rupert.  She waited and her heart somersaulted when she saw him.  He opened the door and stepped into the foyer.  He didn’t noticed her until he closed the door and turned.

He stiffened.  She saw his eyes travel over her this time as she stood there in her simple, strapless dress in the becoming shade of cherry.  It accentuated her color and shape.  Her hair was pulled back at the nape with a clasp and several loose strands framed her face.  “Did you enjoy your date?” he asked, his expression darkening.  “Which one was he?”

“William.”

“Did you enjoy William’s company?  Are you going to see him again?”

She wanted to tell him that she didn’t enjoy herself at all and that she had no intention of seeing William or any other man for that matter.  She wanted to tell him that he was the man she wanted to be with.  Taking a step toward him, she began, “Rupert…” but he interrupted her.

“It’s of no concern to me.  Good night.”  And he walked past her.  She turned and ran up the stairs, anxious to get to her room before she dissolved into tears.

This morning, she got up after tossing and turning.  It looked beautiful outside.  After a quick shower and light breakfast, she went outside for a walk.  She headed to her favorite spot, away from the mansion, where it was quiet.  She needed to clear her head.

She came to an abrupt stop when she saw Rupert standing a few feet away from her, staring off into the distance.  The sunlight glinted on his dark hair and the light blue shirt complimented his olive skin.  He looked so regal, so autocratic and so…She started when she realized that he was looking at her.  She had no choice but to continue heading in that direction.  She felt as if she were intruding.

“Good morning, Rupert.”  She attempted a smile but it wavered then disappeared altogether when he remained aloof.

His eyes flickered over her.  “Good morning,” he replied in a clipped voice, turning his head away.

“It’s a beautiful morning,” she commented.  He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, something she had never thought she would see.  They looked great on him.

He noticed her looking at him and his eyes darkened.  There was a moment of silence for several minutes as their eyes were locked in a gaze.  “Are you going to see him again?” he asked suddenly, startling her.

“Who?”

“Your date from last night.  Are you going to see him again?”

“No,” she mumbled, confused by his question and the anger she heard in his voice.  “I don’t plan to.”

“Why not?” he asked.  “Maggie’s seeing his friend this evening.  I thought that you and he would be joining them.”

“William’s a nice man but I’m not interested in him.  I’m happy for Maggie, though.  She’s really into Andrew.”

“Why did you go out with William if you weren’t interested in him?”

“It was Maggie’s idea.  She wanted to make it a double date.”

“Last night I asked you if you enjoyed his company and if you planned to see him again.  You were about to answer but I didn’t give you a chance to do so.  I was afraid that you were going to tell me that it was none of my business so I saved you the trouble. What were you going to say?”

“I was going to tell you that I didn’t enjoy myself at all.”

“Why not?”

Her courage was beginning to fade but she couldn’t allow that to stop her.  She had to level with him. It was now or never. “I didn’t because I was thinking about you.”

He looked surprised.  “You were thinking about me?”

“Yes and feeling miserable because I know you don’t like me.”

Now his expression was incredulous.  “Not like you?” he muttered.  “You think I don’t like you?”

“Yes, because you are always so cold towards me.  Even just now, you didn’t seem at all pleased to see me and I felt as though I were intruding.”

He released his breath in an unsteady sigh.  “Oh, Diane,” he cried, his eyes darkening on her face as he raked his fingers through his hair.  “You have no idea of how I really feel about you, do you? Let me give you an idea.  The first time we met, I was blown away.  I couldn’t get over how stunning you were.  I was so besotted with you, it scared me.  So, I reacted by dismissing you on the pretext that I wanted to read.

“After you left, I closed the book and sat there for a long time, just thinking about you.  In spite of myself, my feelings for you grew and that evening when Maggie told me about your date, I was livid.  I acted as if I didn’t care but I was mad with jealousy.  I couldn’t bear the thought of you with someone else.  I mentioned that I had an engagement too.  That wasn’t true.  I didn’t have any plans but pride made me say that I did.  I ended up going to the movies which was a waste of time and money.  I was just sitting there in the dark theater, thinking about you with him.”

“I thought you were with Ava,” she confessed.  “And that’s why I was miserable all evening.”

“Ava is just a friend.  She was there for me when I went through a really tough time after I broke up with my ex.  I will tell you about it some other time but it’s what made me indisposed to having another relationship.   And when I met you and you aroused feelings in me that I thought had died, I got scared.  I didn’t want to fall in love again—not after I got burned the last time I did.  So, I tried to fight my feelings for you but it was no use.  For the second time in my life, I have fallen in love and this time, I have fallen hard.  I think that’s what scared me.  My feelings for my ex pale in comparison to my feelings for you.”

“I’m so sorry that you got hurt,” she said.  “but, I promise you that you don’t have worry about me.  I will never hurt you.  I love you so much, Rupert.”  She reached up and touched his face, her heart in her eyes as they met his.

“Oh, Diane,” he groaned, pulling her into his arms.  His head swooped down and he kissed her.  Then, he buried his face in her hair.  “I love you so very much.”  He held her tightly as if he were afraid to let her go.

She whispered, “I’m not going anywhere, my love.”

 

Friends

They started out as friends.

Talked for hours on the phone.

Went out for pizza or to the

movies when they didn’t have

any other plans.  Some

Saturday nights they would

order in spicy Thai food

while watching classic or

foreign movies.

 

They didn’t know exactly

when their feelings for

each other began to

change.  Perhaps it was

the afternoon when they

went to the amusement

park and rode on the

carousel.

 

She held on to the pole

laughing as Tony tried

to take a photo of her.

Then, on the spur of the

moment, he leaned forward

and kissed  her.  It seemed

perfectly natural but she

was no longer laughing.

When the ride stopped

and he helped her

down, their eyes held

for a long moment.  They

were very close to each

other and his hands were

still holding her by the

waist.  Her legs were

a bit wobbly and she

held on to him for a

while longer until she

no longer needed the

support.

 

When they were

standing outside of

the park and away

from the crowd, he

stopped and pulled

her aside.  “I’m sorry

about just now,” he said.

“I shouldn’t have kissed

you.  I hope you’re not

angry with me.”

 

“I kissed you back,” she

said.   “Where do we

go from here, Tony?”

 

He moved closer, his

expression serious

as his eyes searched

her face.  “Where would

you like us to go, Nicole?”

 

She reached up and

kissed him.  “Does this

answer your question?”

she asked minutes

later when she drew

back to look up

at him.

 

“Yes, it does” he said.

“Are you hungry?” she asked.

“Famished,” he replied, rubbing

his stomach.  They laughed.

“I am in the mood for

some Penne arrabiata.”

“So am I,” he agreed, reaching

for her hand and lacing his

fingers through hers

as they walked to

their favorite Italian

bistro.

 

That was two years ago.

Now they were engaged.

Their wedding was in

two months.  Before going

on their honeymoon, they

planned to go back on

the carousel ride–where

for them, the journey from

friendship to romance began.

 

 

black and white couple

 

Mistress of Pembrook

She had walked through the gate at Pembrook Manor, stopping only for a moment to look back at the impressive mansion in the midst of the sprawling land that you could see for miles.  Somewhere in that imposing structure was the man she was running away from.  She knew he had returned from his business trip yesterday evening and she wanted to be out of the house before she risked running into him. He had sent Mrs.  Allen, the housekeeper to take her to the drawing-room to spend time with him but she told the kindly woman that she was not feeling well.  She knew that if she had accepted his invitation, her resolve to leave in the morning would have weakened.  After Mrs. Allen left, she packed her bags, her heart heavy.

She felt terrible about leaving Katie.  She had grown so fond of the little girl but she couldn’t stay another day at Pembrook, knowing that she must leave there soon any way when Mr. Middleton married Miss Young.  The thought of him and the beautiful daughter of Baron and Baroness Young filled her with such pain.  How foolish it was to fall in love with her employer, an man of nobility and whose station was so superior to hers, a mere governess.  And it had been even more foolish to think that he would have any regard for her even if Miss Young were  not in the picture.

It was beautiful, crisp morning.  The sun was just rising.  She felt no pleasure in it, though.  Countless of times she had walked this way with him and found great delight in doing so.  Tears stung her eyes as she hurried to the spot where she was to meet the coach.

“Going somewhere, Miss Evans?”

She stopped dead in her tracks, dropping her bags, her eyes large in her pale face, shocked to see her employer standing there.  “Mr. Middleton,” she gasped.  “What are you doing here?”

“I went for a walk.   And you haven’t answered my question.”

“I-I am going away.”

“That I can see but where are you going and for how long?”

She saw the carriage approaching and picked up her bags.  “I must leave Pembrook, Sir and return to my home from whence I shall not return.”

He came closer, his eyes troubled now.  “What do you mean?” he demanded.  “Why must you leave Pembrook and not return?”

With him so close, staring at her it was hard to remain resolute.  “You are to be married, Sir and I cannot remain at Pembrook when that happens.  So, the best thing for me to do is to leave.”

He grabbed her arms.  It was a firm grip but it did not hurt at all.  It was meant to secure her.  “You cannot leave,” he declared.  “I will not let you.”

“Sir, I must leave.  The coach is approaching.  I must catch it.”

He released her then but turned and strode toward the coach.  She hurried after him, desperate now to leave.  “The young lady will not be departing,” he told the driver.   Before she could say anything, the driver replied, “Very well, Sir,” turned around and drove off.

She was terribly upset now.  “Oh, Mr. Middleton, why did you send the coach away? My family is expecting to see me tomorrow afternoon.  I wrote and told them that I was coming home.”

“You can write and tell them that there has been a change of plans.”

Unable to hold it any longer, she dropped her bags, turned aside and ran into the woods, leaning heavily against the first tree she stumbled upon.  Mr. Middleton was immediately at her side. She pressed her hand against her mouth to prevent the sobs that rose in her throat but she couldn’t stop the tears.  “I cannot stay at Pembrook, Mr. Middleton,” she told him in a trembling voice.  “I cannot remain there when you are to be married to Miss Young.”

He looked puzzled.  “What the deuce are you talking about?  What is this talk of marriage between Miss Young and myself?”

She looked at him.  “Mrs. Allen intimated that there is soon to be an announcement of your nuptials.”

“Mrs. Allen is mistaken.  Miss Young and I have no plans to be wed.  It is the hope of my aunt that such a match should be forthcoming but alas for her, it is not to be. Miss Young’s affections are engaged elsewhere as are mine.”

She was relieved to hear that there was to be no marriage between Miss Young and him but who was the object of his affections?  “Mr. Middleton, nothing has changed. I am going to leave Pembrook as soon as other arrangements can be made.”

He took her by the shoulders and drew her to him.  “You are not going to leave Pembrook or me,” he insisted.  “You are going to stay there as my wife.”

She blinked at him, stunned.  “Your wife?” she repeated, dazed.

“Yes, my wife.  I love you, Miss Evans.  I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you but I hid my feelings because of convention.  Well, hang convention.  I want to marry you.”

“Oh, Mr. Middleton, I love you too.  I have loved you since the first time we met.  I never dreamed that you would harbor any romantic feelings toward me.  I am just an ordinary governess who has nothing to recommend her to you, except her deep love and fidelity.”

He held her face between his hands, his eyes shone with the love he had suppressed for so long.  “You have made me the happiest man in Hartfordshire Country.” He kissed her.  “Let us go home,” he said as he raised his head.  “Let us go back to Pembrook where you shall soon be Mistress.”

the-new-governess