The Tragedy of Divorce

If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind – Shannon L. Adler

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I thought that when George and I tied the knot twenty years ago, it was for keeps.  Was I naive or blinded by love?  I didn’t want to end up like my grandparents and parents whose marriages ended in divorce.  As an only child and grandchild, I wanted to be the exception.  I wanted my marriage to last until either George or I died.  We were happy.  We loved each other.  We had so many wonderful plans for our future and our marriage.  Before having kids, we traveled.

Unfortunately, three kids later, I found out that George was having an affair and when I confronted him, he didn’t deny it.  He told me that he wanted a divorce.  The word was a like a punch in the stomach.  I never thought I would hear it.  I stood there stunned as my whole world crashed down around me.  This can’t be happening, I told myself but it was.  The pain I felt and the expression on his face told me that it this wasn’t a horrible nightmare.  It was really happening.

I pleaded with him not to end our marriage for my sake and the kids’.  I told him that we could go for counseling.  I was desperate.  I was willing to forgive him for his infidelity although it hurt.  But he was adamant.  He wanted a divorce.  Our marriage was over.  He wanted to leave me for her.  Then, he went upstairs and packed a suitcase.

I was served with divorce papers.  The finality hit me and I broke down.  My marriage was over.  My husband whom I thought I would grow old with had left me for a woman half his age.  I hated her.  She had wrecked my marriage and my home.  For years I was filled with bitterness and anger toward George and her.  I longed to make them suffer for what they had done to me.  I fought to prevent him from seeing our kids because I didn’t want them around her.  I didn’t realize how my behavior was affecting them until my daughter became withdrawn and my son was hanging out more at this best friend’s house.  Overcome with guilt and regret, I sobbed as I apologized to them and promised that I would get professional help.  I kept my promise and went for counseling.

One of my friends who also went through a divorce lent me a copy of the book, The Divorce Recovery Workbook which she said helped her.  I’m reading it.  And I’m taking one day at a time.  I’ve let go of my anger and all the toxic emotions that have held me prisoner, ruining my relationship with my kids.  They are doing fine now.  I let them sleep over at their father’s place when they want to.  I’m civil to him whenever we speak and I don’t hate his new wife any more.  I’ve learned, although it hasn’t been easy, to let go and to move on.  Life is too short and I want my kids to be happy.

“When people divorce, it’s always such a tragedy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse” – Monica Bellucci

This was written for the Ragtag Daily Prompt for today’s prompt, Knot.  If you’re interested in participating, click HERE for more information.

Source:  Elite Magazine

Matt’s Bummer Afternoon

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Photo Credit: C.E. Ayr

“What’s the matter, Matt?” Dad asked.  The seven year old stood there looking disinterestedly at the fierce dragon on display.  All around them people were taking photos, children were chattering with excitement as they took turns standing next to it.  Matt had been looking forward to this for weeks but for some inexplicable reason he had lost his enthusiasm.

“I thought Josh was going to come with us,” he said despondently.  Josh was his older brother whom he worshipped.

“I’m sorry, Buddy, but your brother had already made plans to go to see something really interesting.”

“But what could be more interesting than seeing a real live dragon?”

“Well, the dragon isn’t real but that doesn’t matter.  Josh wanted to do something to celebrate Black History Month so he went to see a Black Opera.”

“What’s a Black Opera?”

“It’s opera which features black singers, performers, etc.”

“Why would Josh want to see that?”

“Well, since he started dating Macy, he’s become interested in Black History and culture.”

“Do you like Macy, Dad?”

“Of course, I do”

“We all like her except Grandpa.  Why?”

“I’ll explain why later.”

“Is it because she’s black?”

“Let’s just take some photos.”

“Okay, Dad.”

 

200 Words

 

This was written for Sunday Photo Fiction hosted by Susan Spaulding. For more details visit Here.  To read more of the stories based on this week’s prompt, visit Here.

Source:  Evenbrite

 

Some Friend

f435ef6a490c1e14141c059fdce5ead9She was walking to work when she spotted Dexter’s car.  He didn’t see her.  Even if he did, what would he do?  She couldn’t imagine him telling the driver to stop so that he could talk to her.  Perhaps if Meghan was with her, he would.  It was a slap in the face when they went out for dinner one night, he was a little too attentive to her friend.  And what made it worse was Meghan flirted with him.  Their friendship cooled considerably after that.  It hurt knowing that the two people she cared for and trusted the most were seeing each other.

I have to move on, she thought.  I have to get over him.  There were other men out there.  She just had to figure out where to meet them.  Or maybe she should wait on the Lord as her mother advised her to do.  Maybe she should just enjoy being single and when the time was right for her to meet someone, it would happen.  She could do other things in the meantime like travel, enroll in an arts or crafts class, take up a new hobby or volunteer.  The possibilities were endless.

She was fine with being single.  And it didn’t matter that the man she still carried a torch for had just gone by in his chauffeur driven car.  It would be weeks before she saw him again.  She was fine with that.  Her pace quickened.  She had a busy day ahead of her and was determined not to let anything distract her.  As she was nearing the office building, her cell rang.  She fished inside her bag for it.  When she saw the number on the display, her heart skipped a beat.  It was him.  She answered.  “Hello.”

“Hello, Lonette.  Hope I’m not calling you at a bad time.”

“Actually, I’m my way to work.”

“Sorry.  I won’t keep you long.  I was wondering if you’d have lunch with me today.”

She considered that for a moment.  Why did he want to have lunch with her?  Did it have something to do with Meghan?  The last thing she needed was to sit there and listen to him talk about her former friend.  Did Meghan ask him to invite her to lunch so that he could convince her to patch things up with her?  “I can’t,” she said.  “It’s going to be a busy day for me.”

“How about dinner this evening?”

“Sorry, that’s out too.”

“What about tomorrow?  Are you free for either lunch or dinner?”

“No.”

“Are you giving me the brush off, Lonette?”

“No, I’m not,” she protested quickly, too quickly.

“Yes, you are.  Is it because of Meghan?”

“I was wondering when we were going to get around to talking about her.”

“You know there’s nothing going on between us.”

Really?  Well, that’s not what I heard.”

“Whatever you heard, it isn’t true.  I’m not interested in Meghan.  I never was.”

“When we went out for dinner, you didn’t act like you weren’t interested.”

“I know how it might have looked to you, but I swear to you that I was just trying to be nice to her for your sake.”

“What do you mean that you were just trying to be nice to her?”

He sighed.  “I don’t how to say this so I’ll just come right out and say it.  I don’t like Meghan.  I tried to get along with her for your sake and that’s why I was trying to be nice to her when the three of us were together.  I didn’t expect her to flirt with me.  I’m sorry about that.”

Lonette was inside the lobby now.  She didn’t go into the elevator but went into the sitting area.  She sat down on one of the plush leather chairs.  “Someone said that they saw you with her a couple of weeks ago.”

“I was at The Keg waiting for a client when she came over.  She sat down at the table.  I didn’t want to be rude or draw attention so I told her as politely as I could to leave.  She refused to budge until my client joined us.   She had no choice but to leave but before she did, she said that she couldn’t understand how I could be attracted to you.  She said that was why she liked being friends with you.  She didn’t have to worry about high quality men liking you instead of her.  That’s the woman you thought was your friend.  If you don’t believe me, I can give you the number of my client.”

Lonette sighed.  “No, that won’t be necessary.  I still can’t have lunch with you but I’m free for dinner tonight.”

“Good.  I’ll pick you up at seven.  I can’t wait to see you, Lonette.”

“I can’t wait to see you too.”  She rang off and remained sitting there for a few minutes.  What Meghan said stung.  She had no idea that was how she felt about her.  No wonder she didn’t have a problem flirting with Dexter.  She knew I was crazy about him and she still flirted with him.  Some friend she turned out to be.  And to think I almost threw away my chance for happiness because of her.  Furious, she deleted Meghan’s number from her cell before getting up and hurrying to the elevator.

The New Year’s Eve Visit

Jon Passavant bwI was sitting at my desk when she walked into my office, dressed in a sleeveless, low cut black dress that hugged her snugly.  I tried not to give away the fact that I was turned on.  What was she doing here?  I wondered.  She knew better than to come to my office.  Fortunately, no one else was around.  It was New Year’s Eve and everyone had left early.  It was just me in a place that was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.  The windows blocked out the sounds of the traffic below.

I watched as she came closer.  She had that come hither look.  I was tempted to leave the desk but I stayed put.  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

“It’s New Year’s Eve.  I wanted to stop by and wish you all the best for 2019.”

“You could have called instead of coming all this way.”

“I know but I wanted to see you.”  She was standing over me now, her body inches away.  I could smell her perfume.  It was as intoxicating as she was.  My heart is racing now and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me to act like her being there didn’t matter.  It did.  More than I’d like to admit.  I ached to touch her.

“You’ve seen me.  You can go now.”  I swung my chair so that my legs were no longer underneath the desk and I was facing her.

“Not until I’ve had a chance to do this,” she murmured.  And leaning over, she kissed me on the mouth.  “I couldn’t do that on the phone, could I?” she said when she drew back.  We were both breathing heavily.

That was my undoing.  Muttering under my breath, I grabbed her and pulled her down onto my lap and my mouth found hers.  I kissed her like a ravenous wolf.  Her response and the feel on her fingers digging into my scalp were a huge turn on.  I put my hands under her legs and stood up.  I carried her into the conference room next to my office where there was a leather sofa.  I put her on the sofa and dragged the dress off her.  I quickly stripped and then my mouth and hands were all over her.

We were like two animals in heat.  We couldn’t seem to get enough of each other.  Her nails clawed at my back, digging into my flesh but I didn’t feel the pain.  All I felt was pleasure–exquisite, mind-numbing pleasure.  The kind I never felt with anyone else.  She made me feel things I never felt before.  Being with her was like riding on a roller-coaster.  I wanted to get off but the ride was so exciting, so exhilarating, so tantalizingly sweet…And when it was over, I get off, thinking that this is the last time but it never is.  All she has to do is show up and I’m going for another ride.

This session seemed to last longer than all the others.  Maybe it was because I didn’t want it to end.  When it was finally over, I stood up and got dressed.  She followed suit.  We didn’t say anything as we returned to my office.  I sat down behind my desk.

“That beats going down to Times Square,” she remarked as she picked up her handbag from my desk.  “I’m glad I didn’t take Dwayne up on his offer.”

My head shot up and my gaze narrowed as it met hers.  “Who’s Dwayne?” I demanded.  I was jealous.

“He’s a guy I’ve been out with a couple of times.”

“Have you and he ever…?”

She shook her head.  “No.”

“Are you going to see him now?”

“No.  I’m heading straight home now.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“No.  What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you and Lillian still separated?”

“No.  We’re divorced now.”

“So, you’re a free man again.”

“In a matter of speaking, yes.”

“So, what’s stopping us from hooking up for good this time?  This on and off thing you and I have isn’t working out for me.  If you don’t want me in your life, just say so and I’ll walk out of here and you’ll never see or hear from me again.”

I stood up at once and pulled her against me, my face earnest as I declared, “No, I don’t want you out of my life.  I know I’ve behaved like jerk.  My only excuse is that I wasn’t ready for another serious relationship.”

She put her arms around my neck.  “I understand.  I just wanted to know where I stand with you.”

“Are you hungry?” I asked suddenly.

She nodded.

“Let’s go to Buffalo Wild Wings and celebrate the New Year together.”

She smiled.  “Sounds good to me.”

Over ultimate nachos, beer-battered onion rings, gooey mozzarella sticks and boneless wings and Fountain Sodas, we made plans for our next date.

Sometimes love shows up at your doorstep whether you’re ready for it or not.

Sources: TIME; Buffalo Wild Wings

Direction

A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps – Proverbs 16:9

Have you ever made plans without consulting God first? You decide that you are going to go into missionary work because you saw a program on TV or know someone who is in the mission field but have you asked yourself if that is what God wants you to do? He might want you to be a missionary where you work or where you live instead of you going off to another country.

You might be planning to quit your job and move to another city or country but is that what God wants? What if He wants you to stay put because He has plans for you? You may be planning to get married but what if God wants you to wait? What if the timing is not right? OR what if the person you want to marry is not the right person? How many people could have avoided heartache, unhappiness, failed marriages if they had only waited on the Lord.

Let the Lord direct your steps. If you have plans, share them with Him. You may or may not have His blessing but either way you will be much better off than if you were to go ahead and follow your own plans instead of waiting on Him to give you direction.

fork roads

Making Plans

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into this city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit,” whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? It is just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” But now you are rejoicing in your boastings. All such rejoicing is evil. Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, it is sin – James 4:13-16

How many of us make plans way ahead in the future? And how many of those plans end up going nowhere? Why does the Bible liken making plans to boasting? It could be because we are doing so without consulting God. We act as if we are in control of our destiny when He is the One who is. As Christians, we should make our plans based on what God wants or think is best not what we want. He may have much better plans for us. Take the prophet Jeremiah. What would have happened if he had made plans for a career, travel or marriage? Those plans would have come to nothing because God already had plans for his life.

Remember the Tower of Babel? The people had the bright idea of building a tower so high that it would reach heaven. What were their reasons for building the tower? “…let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth” (Genesis 11:4). They wanted to stay put instead of going abroad and populating the earth. In other words, they were making their own plans which were outside of God’s will. They were boastful in thinking that they could do things their way instead of God’s way.

Nothing is wrong with having plans but they must never be contrary to God’s will. To them, it seemed reasonable to stay where they were and build up a city instead of going out into the world to start new lives. There are times when we want to stay put but God wants us to step out in faith as He did with Abraham. And there are times when we want to go places but He wants us to stay put like Jeremiah. We have to be attuned to what God wants for us so that our plans will line up nicely with His perfect will for us.

It is always best to say, “if the Lord wills…” when it comes to making plans. Wouldn’t you feel better knowing that God approves of your plans and will bless them?

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Waiting for God

Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD! – Psalm 27:14

It takes a lot of courage to wait. When you are waiting for God to answer a prayer or to help you with a situation, you are tempted to jump ahead of Him and try to work things out yourself because you are getting anxious. You find it hard to wait and want to do something. It has been a year since you were laid off. You have been applying for countless job offers and only got a handful of interviews. Each interview seemed promising but in the end you didn’t get the job. You applied to the colleges of your choice and you are waiting to find out if you were accepted in at least one of them.

You prayed to God for a godly man but you are still waiting. It’s hard to be around your friends who are dating or married. Some of them didn’t have to wait long to meet their special someone. You have been waiting for two years now. You are celibate because you want to do what is right and pleasing in God’s sight but it’s hard…

What do you do when you are tempted to act? You pray and ask God to keep you on the path. You think about the friends and the people you know who rushed into relationships because they couldn’t wait and are living in regret. Remind yourself that God’s plans for you are for your good and they will take time. Remind yourself that God’s timing is always perfect. He will provide you with what you need when the time is right and not one moment before.

It takes courage and a lot of willpower to wait on God but in the end, it will be worth it. Hang in there!

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