Parenting

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye – Psalm 32:8

From the time we are born, our parents are there to care for us.  We don’t have to worry about anything.  They provide for our basic needs.  As we get older, they offer us guidance and instructions.  We listen to them most of the time because we know that they want what is best for us.  There are times when we want to do things our way and soon learn that our way is not best and can lead us into trouble.

Our parents God’s stewards.  He entrusted them with the awesome responsibility of raising us to be godly examples to others.  It is no different from the parents we read of in the Bible like Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jesse and his wife, Zechariah and Elizabeth and Joseph and Mary.  Some of them made mistakes but they trusted in God to help them to raise their children.

God is our Father and like our earthly parents, He takes care of us.  He provides for us, teaches and disciplines us.  Moses told the children of Israel, “You should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the LORD your God chastens you” (Deuteronomy 8:5).  When God does this, it isn’t pleasant, of course just like when our parents spank us or punish us, it feels terrible.  It’s painful but they do it because it’s necessary.  They want to do away with a behavior or habit that is problematic.  According to King Solomon, “He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Proverbs 13:24).  Although it may be painful for us, God’s chastisement is motivated by love.  “For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives” (Hebrews 12:6).

Parents raise their children as best as they can.  They “train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).   Some children turn out well while others don’t.  Don’t be discouraged when you’re having problems with your child.  Continue doing your best and pray.  I’ve been having issues with my son lately and this morning when I was worshipping, the Lord put it in my heart to sing, What a Friend We Have in Jesus.  These words spoke to me, giving me comfort and encouragement:

Have we trials and temptations?  Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged, Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Discipline is also an expression of love, although, the child might not think so at the time but in retrospect, he or she will see that their parents acted out of love and for their best interest.  As parents, we are guides, teachers, disciplinarians, stewards and role models.  We have to reflect God’s character if we want our children to be like Him.  Parenting is a huge responsibility but it is also a blessing and a privilege.

Sources:  Blue Letter Bible; Hymnal Net

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From Abuse to Abundance

She sat on the porch, an open book

in her lap but she wasn’t reading it.

Her eyes were on the street.  She was

waiting for her daughter to come home

from school.  Somewhere in the back-

yard, she heard the piercing trill of a bird.

 

It was a beautiful spring afternoon.  Quite

peaceful as there was hardly any traffic or people

in the street.  This was the kind of life she

had always wanted and she thought she

would have had it with Joe…Joe.  She

hadn’t thought about him for years.

 

It seemed like a lifetime ago when she met

and fell in love with the handsome and

charming construction worker.  It was a

whirlwind romance.  Within a few weeks

of meeting they got married.  There were

no red flags–at least she didn’t see them.

Everything seemed to be going so well…

And then, the honeymoon was over.

 

First the insults came and they stung

but she put on a brave face and kept

on loving him, thinking things would

get better.  Then came the blows.

At first they were followed by tearful

apologies and gifts.  And she held him

in her bruised arms and rocked him

like a baby, believing his promises that

he would never hit her again.

 

The blows continued and more frequently.

No more tears.  No more “I’m sorry, Honey.”

Instead, she was blamed for what was

happening to her.  After a while she began to

believe that it was her fault.  Something about

her brought out the worst in him.  When they

first met and even after they got married, he

was so charming and loving.  She didn’t think

he could harm a fly.  But, underneath that boy

next door veneer, lurked an abusive and unstable

monster.

 

After years of being battered and verbally and

mentally abused, she got the courage to leave.

She went to a women’s shelter where she felt safe and

cared for.   She received the counseling and

support she so desperately needed.  No more

of looking out the window for Joe and wondering

what kind of mood he would be in.  Three months

after leaving the shelter, she learned that Joe had

died from a fall at a construction site.  The news

devastated her.  In spite of everything, she still

loved him.

 

She visited his grave and stood there, tears falling

down her cheeks, wishing with all her heart that

their life together had been different.  She never

knew why he became abusive toward her.  All

she had ever done was love him and try to be a

good wife to him.  And all she got for her trouble

were blows, bruises and belittling remarks.

 

Thirteen years have gone by since she left Joe and now

she was married again.  Bill was a terrific husband

and father to their ten year old daughter.  They

met when she started attending church.  It wasn’t a

whirlwind romance this time.  It took a while for her

to open herself and her heart to someone else.  The

physical scars had healed but the emotional scars were

still there.  She marveled at Bill’s patience.  Other men

would have given up.  When she broached this with

him, he said simply, “Love is patient.  I’m not going

anywhere.”

 

It was one rainy afternoon when she was walking home

from the subway and saw him coming toward her with

an umbrella that she realized that she was in love with

him.  She married him a week later in a simple ceremony.

And now, she sat in the shade on the porch of their home,

looking out for their daughter, Annie.

 

Being married to Bill made her face up to the glaring truth

that Joe didn’t really love her.  If he had, he wouldn’t have

hurt her.  Love doesn’t batter, belittle or blame.  She had

forgiven Joe and wanted to believe that if he were still alive,

he would have sought help.

 

She saw a familiar figure coming up the street and

she stood up, smiling.  God had brought her from

a dark and painful past to this moment.  During one

of those moments when she wondered if she ever feel

safe or happy again that He assured her, “There is hope

in your future.”  Yes, from where she stood, that hope

was the life she was now enjoying.  God had brought

her from abuse to abundance.

 

 

Sources: YMCA; Domestic Shelter

Shackles

As she read the two volume autobiography of Olaudah Equiano, she was reminded of how fortunate she was.  She was a black, educated woman who was able to go to the university of her choice and become what she had always dreamed of.   She and her parents left the West Indies for a better life in America.

 

Her world was so different from Olaudah’s.  He had been kidnapped from his home in the West Indies and taken to Virginia where he was bought by a sea captain, Michael Henry  Pascal, with whom he traveled widely.  Olaudah received some education before he bought his freedom in 1766.  He became an abolitionist, speaking out against the cruelty of British slave owners in Jamaica.

 

Slavery is something she was never going to experience, but she knew what it was like to be treated differently because of the colour of her skin.  She learned that being educated, living in a stylish condo and driving an expensive car didn’t matter to those who didn’t see past her colour.  She still had to deal with being watched or ignored or followed when in certain stores or co-workers looking away as she passed them.

 

Yes, she had her own issues to deal with but they paled in comparison to Olaudah who suffered cruelty and indignity at the hands of those who wanted to keep him and the other slaves in emotional and intellectual shackles.  She was grateful to Olaudah for writing about the horrors of slavery.  It made her more determined to work harder and achieve more.  It was what drove her to pursue her Masters.  Like Olaudah, there were times when she questioned her faith but she has since learned that it is during those tough, challenging times that God has proven that she has the mettle to overcome them.

 

Yes, she had come a long way with God’s help but there was still a long way to go. Little by little she was going to break free from the racist mentalities that would like to keep blacks shackled to the painful past of slavery.

 

“After all, what makes any event important, unless by its observation we become better and wiser, and learn ‘to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly before God?'” – Olaudah Equiano

 

 

Sources:  Wikipedia; Britannica; Daily Kos

 

Broken Heart

She loved him from

The first moment she

Saw him.

Shy, she had watched

Him from afar.  When he

First spoke to her, she

Felt on top of the world.

They became friends.

They went places.

They enjoyed each

Other’s company.

She believed that he

Felt the same way

Until he met Anne…

Anne was more like

A sister to her.  They

Had been best friends since

High school.

She introduced them—

And was thrilled that

They hit it off.  It was

Important to her that

They liked each other.

Then, his visits and calls

got fewer and fewer

Until they stopped.

When she tried to

Reach him, there was

No answer.  He always

Seemed to be in a hurry

When she saw him.

And a bit distant and

Uncomfortable around her.

He was avoiding her but why?

Then, she saw them together.

They were strolling along

The waterfront, holding hands.

She stopped dead in her tracks.

Her mind refused to believe

Her eyes.  The hurt and anger

That consumed her, told her

That this was real—it wasn’t a

Terrible dream.  Her best friend

And David were seeing each other.

She saw them stop and look at

The lake.  She should confront them.

She should march over there and

Let them have it.

The hot tears spilled down her

Cheeks as she moved towards them.

The anger inside her increased with each step.

“If you pursue this, you will give place to the Devil”

The words ground her quick steps to an abrupt halt.

“Be angry but do not sin.  Turn and walk away.”

She stood there, her resolve to continue fading.

The two figures started to move away.

The distance grew wider and wider until

They dropped out of sight.

She turned and almost ran away.

Yes, she wanted to get away from the

Place where she saw them together.

Where she was betrayed by the two

People who mattered the most to her.

 

Some of us have experienced painful break-ups,

Unrequited love and betrayal.  Yet…the pain goes

Away after a while, we find someone who loves us

In return and we forgive those who betray us.

A broken heart can be mended—it just takes time.

 

Source:  Ephesians 4:26, 27

Listen to God

 

And to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it,’

Cursed is the ground on account of you;
    in hard labor you will eat of it
    all the days of your life.
 Thorns and thistles it will bring forth for you,
    and you will eat the plants of the field.
 By the sweat of your face
    you will eat bread
until you return to the ground,
    because out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
    and to dust you will return” – Genesis 3:17-19

I’m sure many of us have listened to someone against our better judgment and regretted it.  Adam listened to Eve who encouraged him to eat the fruit which both of them were forbidden to eat.  God had told them that if they ate it they would surely die.  There were no ifs, ands or buts.  The consequences for disobeying Him would cost them their lives and more.

Adam knew where Eve got the fruit from.  She had taken a bit and was giving it to him.  She must have told him what the serpent had said.  And the fact that she was still alive may have persuaded Adam that eating the fruit was not a bad thing to do.  God had said that they would die if they ate it but Eve wasn’t dead.  She was there before him, her eyes sparkling and her face flushed.  She looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her.  The serpent must be right.  There was no harm in eating the fruit.  So, he took it from her and ate it.  The moment he tasted the fruit, things changed.

Why do we tend to listen to other people instead of God?  His Word is there to guide us, to keep us safe yet we tend to listen to and follow bad advice.  And we place our love for our spouses and children above our love to God.  The Bible says, “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”  We show God we love Him when we obey Him even when we are pressured or tempted to do otherwise.  Our loved ones may try to get us to do something that is contrary to God’s will but we have a choice to make.  We can choose to listen to God or listen to them.  No one can force us to do anything.  Eve didn’t force Adam to disobey God.  He chose to do so.  And the consequences of that choice were far-reaching and as a result sin, suffering, death came into the world and their relationship with God and each other changed.  The family dynamics changed.  The husband became the head of the home and the wife was to be subject to him.  Childbirth was not meant to be a painful experience but it is and working for a living was not supposed to be hard but it is.  And we were not supposed to experience death but we all will.  Our choices can affect not only us but others too.  God knew what tragedies disobedience would bring to Adam and Eve and the world if they didn’t listen to Him.

Today, choose to listen to God.  Don’t let anyone persuade you to do anything that would draw you away from God.  Let your spiritual walk be such that when God comes looking for you and calls out, “Where are you?” you can show yourself and say, “Here I am, Lord.”