From Self-harm to Self-love

Neeha always wore long sleeves even when it was hot and humid outside because she didn’t want anyone, especially her friends to see the ugly cuts on her arms.  She wanted to stop cutting herself but she couldn’t seem to.  It started when she became pregnant and told her mother who said, “Unless you get married or give up your baby for adoption, I won’t have anything more to do with you.  What you have done is a disgrace to the family–getting pregnant before you’re even married.”

Neeha was devastated.  She needed her mother but was rejected–shunned.  Marriage was out of the question.  Her baby’s father was already married and he didn’t even want to acknowledge the child.  He had even suggested that Neeha have an abortion which he was willing to pay for but she refused.  The thought of killing an unborn child horrified her.  So, she decided to go through with pregnancy.  When she started to show she would wear loose clothing.

When things got really bad and she felt there was nowhere or no one to turn to, she began to harm herself.  She used a pair of scissors to do it.  Soon, the beautiful, clear skin on her arms was covered in red, ugly welts.  What she was doing to herself horrified and repulsed her but she couldn’t seem to help it.  It was better than turning to drugs or alcohol or even committing suicide.

At the office, she would go into the bathroom and cut herself and when she came out no one suspected anything.  She kept to herself because she feared the backlash from her mother and the rest of the family.  This kind of behavior wasn’t something one would imagine would happen in an Asian family.  It wasn’t something that they would want to acknowledge or talk about or want their white friends and neighbors to know about.

One afternoon, she was flipping through the channels when she came across a program.  It was a sermon.  She decided to watch it.  It was about a demon possessed man who was living among the tombs.  He was naked and in chains which he broke.  What got her interest is that the man cut himself with stones.  When she heard how Jesus freed the man from the demons and clothed the man, she began to cry.  The man was in his right mind and no longer hurting himself.  She heard the preacher say, “Jesus can help you just like He helped this man.  Whatever you’re going through, come to Jesus, fall at His feet and He will free you.  He will heal you.  You don’t have to go through what you’re going through alone anymore.  Jesus can help you.  All you have to do is to cry out to Him and He will hear you.”

At the end of the service, there was a free offer of a book, entitled, Hurts So Good: Exposing the Lies of Self-Injury.  She quickly scribbled down the information and sent for a copy.  Afterwards, she cried out to Jesus whom she had heard so much about.  Now, she needed Him.  She wanted to believe that He could help her.  Tears poured down her face as she asked Him to free her from this cycle of intentional self-injury like He freed the demoniac.

When she was finished, the tears subsided and she felt a peace she had never experienced in her life before settle over her.  She knew then that Jesus had answered her prayer.   With the nine action steps outlined in the book, she was on the path to hope and healing in Christ.  She replaced the knife or scissor blade with the Bible and its promises.  She gave birth to a healthy baby girl and called her, Prutha which means “daughter of love”.

Neeha found a church nearby and began to attend their worship services every week while her best friend, Farha took care of Prutha.  There at the church, Neeha met Safal, a widower with a five year old son.  They struck a friendship which soon blossomed into a romance.  Two years later, they got married.  Neeha’s mother attended the wedding.  She apologized to her daughter for the way she treated her.  Neeha readily accepted her apology.  She was just happy to be back on speaking terms with her mother.  Prutha never knew about her biological father.  As far as Neeha was concerned, Safal was her father.  He was happy to adopt her as his own.  He doted on her and she adored him.

Neeha is currently expecting another child and she is ecstatic.  Prutha is now six and is excited about having a baby brother or sister and Taj, Safal, son, whom she adopted, was looking forward to the new addition to the family as well.  Neeha is thankful that she watched that Christian program.  It changed her life in so many ways.  She is a volunteer for an organization called, Samaritans, a unique charity dedicated to reducing feelings of isolation and disconnection that can lead to suicide.   Some of the people she has helped were victims of self-harm and a few of them have requested prayers.

Self-harm is a very serious issue.  If you find it difficult to speak to a family member or a friend or even a co-worker, here are organizations you can reach out to for help:

• Samaritans – The Samaritans provide a free anonymous helpline. Someone will listen and help you, 24 hours of the day on 116 123. (UK)
• Harmless – A user-led organisation for people who self-harm, and their friends and families.

You can also ask your GP to give you advice and direct you to the best place to get help, whether it is counselling or some form of treatment.

Self-harm is something that can happen among Christians as well.  Read this story of a Christian student who struggled with self-injury.  Please reach out for help.  Don’t let fear or shame prevent you.  Take the first step toward healing.  Take the path from self-harm to self-love.

Source:  Desiblitz; Samaritans; Blue Letter Bible

For Better or For Worse

“How long are you going to continue looking out that window?  She’s not coming back.  Sooner or later you must accept that.”

He didn’t answer.  Her words cut to the core but he refused to believe that Brittany was gone forever.

“She got tired of waiting and decided that it’s time to move on.  Can’t say that I blame her.  I too would get tired of waiting for a man to make up his mind.”

“Marriage isn’t something you take lightly or rush into,” he replied, sounding a tad defensive and resentful.  “I wanted to be sure before I took that step.”

“And are you sure now?”

“Yes!  I’m ready to take that step with Brittany.”

“Well, as they say, too late, too late shall be the cry.”

His mouth tightened in annoyance.  If she had nothing good or helpful to say, he wish she would keep silent.  “Are you going to be much longer?” he asked.  He wanted to be alone to wallow in his pain and misery.

She looked at him.  “Trying to get rid of me, are you?  Well, I’ll be gone in ten minutes.”

Good.  He turned away to look out of the window again.  Any minute, he hoped to see her walking up the street and hear the key turn in the lock.  He had imagined and dreamed of it so many times.  She had to come back.  The night she walked out of the flat and out of his life was still raw and fresh in his mind.  The place felt empty, lonely and dark without her.  He missed her lying in the bed next to him and always fell asleep hugging her pillow.

They had been together for five years and they had been happy years until the subject of marriage came up.  She wanted to get married but he wasn’t ready.  He had seen too many marriages fall apart.  Love wasn’t a guarantee for a lasting marriage.  He had seen couples who loved each other split up.  Was it unreasonable for him to be cautious?  Was it foolish of him to want to wait until he was ready and willing to make that final commitment?

As much as he was in love with Brittany, he was going to let her pressure him into getting married before he was good and ready.  He didn’t regret that decision but he missed her so much that it hurt.  It had been weeks since she walked out but it felt like years.  Yet, hope continued to burn in his heart.  One of these days, she would return and he would be there, waiting for her.

“Well, I’m off now.  Your supper is in the oven, nice and hot.  Your laundry’s done.  I’ll see you in two weeks.  I’m going to visit my daughter in Manchester.”

“Have a safe trip, Hannah.”

“Thank you.  You take care of yourself.  And stop moping about the place.  There are plenty of women out there.”

“I know but there’s only one woman for me.”

“Aye.  Well, I hope for your sake that she’s worth the trouble.  Good afternoon.”

“Good afternoon.”  He got up and saw her to the door.  He reached over and kissed her on the cheek, smiling as she got red in the face.  He watched her walk down the hallway and turn the corner before he closed the door.  He returned to the window.

It was around half-past seven when he decided to get up and have his supper while it was still warm.  As he headed toward the kitchen, he heard the key turn in the lock.  He froze, his heart pounding.  He stood there and watched as the door slowly opened and Brittany step into the foyer.  She closed the door and locked it before turning to face him.  She stood there, watching him.  Beside her were two pieces of luggage.

For several minutes they just stared at each other.  The only sound was the ticking of the clock on the wall.  Then, he was standing in front of her, his eyes restless on her upturned face.  “You came back,” he muttered. 

“Yes.  It was a mistake for me to leave.  I’m sorry.”

“It hurt when you walked out on me.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I was hoping that you would come back.  I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too.  That’s why I came back.”

He moved closer.  “It’s-it’s good to have you back, Brittany.  My life and this place are so empty and miserable without you.  Please promise me that you won’t leave me again.”

“I promise.  And I’m willing to leave our relationship as it is.  If you don’t want to get married, that’s all right with me.”

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly.  “Oh, Brittany…”

She put her arms around his waist.  “I love you, Cedric.”

“And I love you, Brittany.”  He lowered his head and kissed her with passion and longing.  It had been so long since he had held her in his arms or told her that he loved her.  It was like the bright sunshine after a storm.

Several minutes later, he took her hand and led her to their bedroom where they made up for lost time.  Afterwards, they shared the supper Hannah had left for him and it was while they were relaxing on the sofa watching a movie, that he told her that he was ready for marriage.  “I meant it when I said that I was fine with our relationship the way it is.”

“I know you did and I love you for it but I’m ready to take the plunge with you.”

“For better or for worse.”

“Yes.  We’ve been through the worse.  It can only get better from here on.”

She smiled and gently squeezed his hand.  “I believe so too.”

Marriage does not guarantee you will be together forever, it’s only paper. It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship and faith in your relationship to make it last – Marriage.com

This was written for the Ragtag Daily Prompts for today’s word, Continue.  If you’re interested in participating, click HERE for more information.

Co-Workers Turned Couple

He glanced up from his computer and realized that Shantel and he were the only ones in the office.  Everyone else had left.  It was Friday.  Most people left either minutes before or exactly at five.  And it was summer.  People wanted to enjoy the nice weather.

He wasn’t in any rush to get home.  All he did when he was there was watch television, play the stereo, read or spend hours on his laptop.  After living most of his life on a farm, it took a while to get used to living in the city.  In spite of the hustle and bustle and all that the city had to offer, his was a very boring life.  He didn’t have a girlfriend and he wasn’t interested in dating, at least that was before Shantel came on the scene.

Two years ago, she joined the company when Ruth who had been working there for over fifteen years, decided to move back to Toronto.  He was sorry to see her go because she was like an older sister to him.  However, when he saw her replacement, he was bowled over.  She was beautiful!  He was tongue-tied and couldn’t help staring when Ruth introduced them.

Shantel was quiet and reserved like him and they got along very well.  Some times they had lunch and took the subway together.  They learned a lot about each other.  He was relieved to find out that she was single like him.  They shared a lot in common and had similar tastes.  Sometimes, they went to the park to have lunch and after work, they went to the shopping mall or the library to browse before hopping on the train.

It wasn’t long before he started to develop feelings for her and he wanted so badly to ask her out but he was afraid of rejection and ruining their friendship.  He watched her now as she sat at her desk.  She glanced up and caught him looking at her.  She got up and went over.  She looked amazing in the purple dress which ended just above her knees.  What lovely legs she had…Realizing that he was staring, he turned away, his face red.

“Are you working late?” she asked.

He looked up.  “I wasn’t planning to,” he replied.  “What about you?”

“No.  I’m ready to leave when you are.”

“Okay.  I’ll be ready in five minutes.”

“I’ll go and get ready.”  She smiled at him before walking away.

He switched off his computer and quickly cleared his desk.  Grabbing his jacket, he went over to her desk where she was waiting for him.  They walked to the elevator.  On the ride down, she turned to him.  “Are you doing anything tomorrow evening?” she asked.

He shook his head.  “No.”

“Well, I was wondering if you would to have dinner at my place.”

His heart began to beat faster.  “I would love to, Shantel.” 

“I’ve wanted to ask you that for a long time but just couldn’t work up the courage until now.”

His eyes darkened on her face and he reached for her hand.  “And I’ve wanted to ask you out so many times but was afraid to.”

She smiled and squeezed his hand.  “I’m glad to know that we both feel the same way and that we’re finally reached this stage in our relationship.  No more hiding or pretending…”  Her voice trailed off as his lips found hers and moved ever so gently, like a caress, making her catch her breath.

When they exited the elevator, they were smiling and holding hands.  They were a couple now.

This was written for the Ragtag Daily Prompt for today’s prompt, Farm.  If you’re interested in participating, click HERE for more information.

Winners and Losers

It’s eight o’clock on a Saturday morning.  I’m on my way to buy groceries when my cell vibrates.  I stopped and I pull it out of my handbag.  It’s him.  He’s texting me.  Tonight still on?

I reply, Yes.  See u at 8.  I slip my cell back into my bag and continue walking towards the supermarket.  It’s a nice, mild morning.  I try to ignore my conscience which is telling me that what I’m doing is wrong.  I’m not a bad person.  I’m a nice person who gets along with most people and I go to church every Sunday.  Yet, why doesn’t it bother me that I’m sleeping with my friend’s boyfriend?  It should but it doesn’t.  Am I a heartless woman?  Have I ever stopped and considered how I would feel it the tables were turned and Wanda was sleeping with my man?  I guess I haven’t.  Love can be a powerful thing and it can blind you too.

Yes, love.  I’m in love with Jose.  If I weren’t I would be with him.  I never expected to fall in love with him.  Before him, Wanda dated other men and I wasn’t attracted to any of them and even if I were, I wouldn’t have done anything about it.  Wanda was my friend and I would never ever hurt her by hooking up with her boyfriend.  That was my mantra until I met Jose.  I was instantly attracted to him but I tried to fight my feelings  for as long as I could.  It wasn’t easy at all, especially when I realized that he was attracted to me too.  We sneaked looks at each other and when we were alone, he would touch my hand or slip me a note for us to get together.

The first time we crossed the line was when he and I “accidentally” bumped into each other at a nightclub.  He was there with his friends and I was there with mine.  Wanda was out of town at the time.  She had gone to visit her sister in Tampa.  Jose and I were careful how we interacted with each other but when he offered to give me a ride home, I readily accepted.  On the drive over to my apartment, we talked about different things but the air was crackling with sexual tension.  At one point, he reached over and rubbed his knuckles against my arm, making me tremble.

When we got to my apartment, he saw me to my door.  We could have said goodnight then and parted company but I invited him in.  As soon as the door was closed, we were all over each other.  In between frenzied kisses, we tore off each other’s clothes and then we were on the sofa making love.  Afterwards, we showered and had something to eat.  He left after one in the morning.  While Wanda was away, he came to my place ever evening and sometimes stayed over.  When she got back, we couldn’t see each other as often but we texted and called each other everyday.

Last night when we were together, he told me that he loved me.  I was thrilled to hear him say that because I loved him too.  I know that he doesn’t love Wanda and I think that he should break up with her.   I know that it won’t be easy for him to end a five year relationship but he has to do it.  It’s no use prolonging the inevitable.  Wanda will be devastated and it will be the end of our friendship.  It’s unfortunate but that’s how life is sometimes.  It throws us a curve-ball.  And in Wanda’s case, she couldn’t dodge hers.

“In love there are no winners or losers, there are only those who are hurt more or those who are hurt less” – Thai Proverb

 

 

Some Friend

She was walking to work when she spotted Dexter’s car.  He didn’t see her.  Even if he did, what would he do?  She couldn’t imagine him telling the driver to stop so that he could talk to her.  Perhaps if Meghan was with her, he would.  It was a slap in the face when they went out for dinner one night, he was a little too attentive to her friend.  And what made it worse was Meghan flirted with him.  Their friendship cooled considerably after that.  It hurt knowing that the two people she cared for and trusted the most were seeing each other.

I have to move on, she thought.  I have to get over him.  There were other men out there.  She just had to figure out where to meet them.  Or maybe she should wait on the Lord as her mother advised her to do.  Maybe she should just enjoy being single and when the time was right for her to meet someone, it would happen.  She could do other things in the meantime like travel, enroll in an arts or crafts class, take up a new hobby or volunteer.  The possibilities were endless.

She was fine with being single.  And it didn’t matter that the man she still carried a torch for had just gone by in his chauffeur driven car.  It would be weeks before she saw him again.  She was fine with that.  Her pace quickened.  She had a busy day ahead of her and was determined not to let anything distract her.  As she was nearing the office building, her cell rang.  She fished inside her bag for it.  When she saw the number on the display, her heart skipped a beat.  It was him.  She answered.  “Hello.”

“Hello, Lonette.  Hope I’m not calling you at a bad time.”

“Actually, I’m my way to work.”

“Sorry.  I won’t keep you long.  I was wondering if you’d have lunch with me today.”

She considered that for a moment.  Why did he want to have lunch with her?  Did it have something to do with Meghan?  The last thing she needed was to sit there and listen to him talk about her former friend.  Did Meghan ask him to invite her to lunch so that he could convince her to patch things up with her?  “I can’t,” she said.  “It’s going to be a busy day for me.”

“How about dinner this evening?”

“Sorry, that’s out too.”

“What about tomorrow?  Are you free for either lunch or dinner?”

“No.”

“Are you giving me the brush off, Lonette?”

“No, I’m not,” she protested quickly, too quickly.

“Yes, you are.  Is it because of Meghan?”

“I was wondering when we were going to get around to talking about her.”

“You know there’s nothing going on between us.”

“Really?  Well, that’s not what I heard.”

“Whatever you heard, it isn’t true.  I’m not interested in Meghan.  I never was.”

“When we went out for dinner, you didn’t act like you weren’t interested.”

“I know how it might have looked to you, but I swear to you that I was just trying to be nice to her for your sake.”

“What do you mean that you were just trying to be nice to her?”

He sighed.  “I don’t how to say this so I’ll just come right out and say it.  I don’t like Meghan.  I tried to get along with her for your sake and that’s why I was trying to be nice to her when the three of us were together.  I didn’t expect her to flirt with me.  I’m sorry about that.”

Lonette was inside the lobby now.  She didn’t go into the elevator but went into the sitting area.  She sat down on one of the plush leather chairs.  “Someone said that they saw you with her a couple of weeks ago.”

“I was at The Keg waiting for a client when she came over.  She sat down at the table.  I didn’t want to be rude or draw attention so I told her as politely as I could to leave.  She refused to budge until my client joined us.   She had no choice but to leave but before she did, she said that she couldn’t understand how I could be attracted to you.  She said that was why she liked being friends with you.  She didn’t have to worry about high quality men liking you instead of her.  That’s the woman you thought was your friend.  If you don’t believe me, I can give you the number of my client.”

Lonette sighed.  “No, that won’t be necessary.  I still can’t have lunch with you but I’m free for dinner tonight.”

“Good.  I’ll pick you up at seven.  I can’t wait to see you, Lonette.”

“I can’t wait to see you too.”  She rang off and remained sitting there for a few minutes.  What Meghan said stung.  She had no idea that was how she felt about her.  No wonder she didn’t have a problem flirting with Dexter.  She knew I was crazy about him and she still flirted with him.  Some friend she turned out to be.  And to think I almost threw away my chance for happiness because of her.  Furious, she deleted Meghan’s number from her cell before getting up and hurrying to the elevator.

Playmates/Clouds #writephoto

Photo by Sue Vincent

 

“You’re in love with my grandson, aren’t you?” Mrs. Walker’s unexpected question startled Marlo and for several minutes, she was at a loss for words.  They were sitting in the drawing-room in front of a roaring fire.  The older woman had invited her to spend the afternoon with her.  She was rather fond of her, ever since she was a child.  She had watched Marlo play with her grandson, William and had watched her blossom into a lovely young lady.

There was a pregnant pause, interrupted only by the chiming of the clock and then, Marlo admitted, “Yes, I’m in love with William.  I have been in love with him since I was a teenager but how–?”

“How did I guess?  My dear girl, I may be old and feeble but my mind is as agile as ever.  I have watched you and seen the way you act around him.  These eyes don’t miss anything.  So, what are you going to do about it?”

Marlo stared at her in surprise.  “What can I do?” she asked.  “He still thinks of me as that little girl he used to climb trees and gallivant about the countryside with.”

“You are mistaken, my Dear.  The way I have seen him look at you, he’s not thinking about that little girl at all.”

Marlo’s heart began to race.  “What do you mean?”

“It’s quite clear that William is in love with you.”

“But, what about Louisa Parks?”  She had seen him with the pretty brunette on more than one occasion and it had aroused a fierce jealousy in her.  She couldn’t help but recall the afternoon when she had returned from a walk to find them together in the garden.   They were sitting on the bench, talking and laughing and she stood there watching them for a while before they even noticed her.  Louisa was wearing a pretty sundress and hat.  She glanced self-consciously down at her tee shirt and jeans.  Her gaze shifted to William and their eyes met.  He looked handsome in the white shirt and tan colored slacks, his dark hair slightly tousled from the cool breeze.

He got to his feet now and walked over to her.  “Where did you go off to?” he asked.

“I went for a walk,” she said.

“You went alone?”

“Yes.  You weren’t around so I decided to go by myself.”

“Where did you go?”

“I went to the drugstore—”

“Did you see Tom?”

“Of course.  He works there.”

“You know he likes you, don’t you?”

She glanced over at Louisa who was watching them curiously, looking a bit put out.  “Why don’t you go back to your guest?” she asked and was about to walk away when he caught her by the arm.  Her eyes flew up to his face and she swallowed when she saw his expression.

“Do you like Tom?”

“Why does that concern you?”

“It does,” he retorted.  “Do you like him?”

She tugged her hand away from him.  “No, I don’t like him.  Can you say the same thing about her?”  She demanded before she turned and stalked away.

She ran to her car and jumped into it.  All the way home, she fumed. What right did he have to question her about Tom when he was seeing Louisa?  He acted like he was jealous but in order for him to be jealous, he would have to have feelings for her.  No, he couldn’t have been jealous.  He was just being overprotective like he used to be whenever a boy showed any interest in her.

The sound of Mrs. Walker clearing her throat brought her back to the present.  “I’m sorry,” she said, embarrassed.  “I was remembering something that happened between William and me.”

“You mentioned Louisa Parks.”

“Yes, I saw them together in the garden a week ago.”

“They are just friends.”

“It seemed to me that Louisa wants to more than friends.”

“Well, I’m afraid it won’t do her any good.  William is in love with you.”

“But, how do you know that?” She wanted to believe it so badly.

“He told me.”

Marlo gaped at her.  “He did?  But, why would he tell you that?”

“Since he was a boy, William has always confided in me and some time ago, he stopped by, looking very agitated.  When I asked him what the matter was, he mentioned that Tom, the Pharmacist, was asking after you.  He said that Tom was interested in you.  And the way he carried on about it, it was clear to me that he was besotted with you.  I asked him plainly how he felt about you and he admitted that he was in love with you but he wasn’t sure how you felt about him.”

Marlo shook her head in a daze.  “I never would have guessed?”

Mrs. Walker’s eyes twinkled.  “Is that so?” she remarked.  “Now that you know, what are you going to do about it?”

“What do you think I should do?”

“Well, I suggest that you take a walk across the Moors.”

“The Moors?”

“That’s why you’ll find him.”

Marlo glanced through the windows behind her.  Dark clouds hovered ominously in the sky.  “It looks like it’s going to rain.”

“Then, you’d better hurry before it does.  And even if you’re caught in it, I’m sure there’s some place where you can find shelter until it passes.”

Marlo stood up and went over to her.  She reached down and hugged her.  “Thank you, Mrs. Walker,” she said before leaving the room.

She ran across the Moors, her heart racing.  Overhead more dark clouds gathered but she didn’t care.  As soon as she spotted him, she called out to him.  He turned.  When she reached him, he asked, “What are you doing out here?”

“Your grandmother told me that I would find you here.”

“It’s going to rain, you know.”

“I know and it doesn’t matter.”

“You’ll get drenched.”

“We’ll both get drenched.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

She smiled. “You’re right.  We got caught out here in the rain one summer.  Your mother was furious when we ran back to the house and got the floor all wet.”

“I seem to recall that it was your bright idea to go back to the house instead of finding shelter in those rocks over there.”

“It would have been a very tight squeeze and I don’t like being in small spaces.  I’m claustrophobic, remember?”

“Yes, I remember.”  His expression grew serious now.  “I remember a lot of things.  I remember the way you looked when you came towards me as I stood right here.  The sun caught your hair and it looked like it was on fire.  Your cheeks were flushed from running like they are now.  You’re still the most beautiful girl I know, Marlo.”

Marlo moved closer to him.  Her green eyes met his hazel ones.  She reached up and brushed the dark brown curls from his forehead.  “I remember a lot of things too,” she said.  “I remember how handsome you looked standing here, with your curls blowing in the breeze and the way you smiled at me.  Your grandmother told me how you feel about me, William.”

“Is that why you’re here now?”

“Yes.”

“Well, she guessed and I merely confirmed.”

“She told me about Louisa.”

“You don’t have to worry about her.  I never wanted more than friendship with her.”

“And you don’t have to worry about Tom.  I was never interested in him.”

He smiled.  “I was so jealous of him.”

“And I was so jealous of Louisa.”

“We were two jealous fools.”

She laughed.  “Yes, we were.”

He took her in his arms.  “I love you, Marlo.  I always have.”

She put her arms around his neck.  “I love you too, William.  I always have.”

He lowered his head and kissed her just as the rain began to fall.

Sometimes your childhood playmate can become your mate for life.

This was written in response to the Thursday Photo Prompt at Sue Vincent’s Daily Echo.  For more details click here.

Gordon’s Weekend/Onward #writephoto

Photo by Sue Vincent

It was a long, winding road that seemed to stretch endlessly before him, surrounded by mountains and fields.  It was a drive he normally enjoyed, especially after a hectic week at the office but today, he was too tensed up.  Relax, he urged himself.  You’re doing the right thing.  You’re ending a relationship you had no business getting into in the first place.  You’re getting married in a couple of months time to an incredible woman.  Yes, he was marrying Tessa, something he had been looking forward to for a long time.

His family liked her.  They thought she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.  She was different from the other women he used to date.  In fact, she was not the type of woman he was usually attracted to.  And when they met, it wasn’t love at first sight for him and he wasn’t even interested in more than a platonic relationship with her.  But, after his bitter breakup with Christina, Tessa had been there for him.  Her friendship had helped him through those dark moments.  And little by little, as time passed and as they spent more time together, his feelings for her began to change.  They started dating and then last year Spring, he popped the question.

Why on earth did he get involved with Chanise?  Sure, she was a very attractive woman but there were other women at the office who were very attractive too but he never once looked at any of them.  Yet, the moment he met Chanise, he was attracted to her.  And it didn’t help when they were paired up to work on two very important campaigns.  There were a lot of late hours in the office and working closing together.  He was so conscious of her that at times, it was near impossible to concentrate.  He was relieved when the assignments were over and things went back to normal but he couldn’t stop thinking about her and sneaking peeks at her when they were in the office.  Her desk was adjacent to his.  He could hear her talking on the phone and tried not to listen.  When Tessa called him, he spoke low into the mouthpiece so that Chanise couldn’t hear.

Last year at the office Christmas party, they both showed up without dates.  Tessa couldn’t go because she had a bad cold and Chanise had broken up with her boyfriend.  He tried to avoid her for as long as he could but half way through the night, they ended up talking and then they were slow dancing.  By the end of the night, he was ready to take her back to his place because it was closer.  When he mentioned it to her, she was up for it.  That’s when he knew that she was attracted to him too.  That thrilled him and after saying their goodbyes, they left.  No one seem to think anything of it–after all they were co-workers.  As far as they were concerned, he was just giving her a ride home.  No big deal.  Besides, he was engaged, right?

They didn’t say much in the drive over to his place.  At any time, he could have changed his mind and taken her straight home but he didn’t.  He wanted this.  If he were honest with himself, he would admit that he had wanted this since they met.  As soon as they got to his place and after removing their coats, he took her to his room where she spent the night.

Even though he was plagued with guilt after that first tryst, it didn’t stop him for doing it again and again.  Pretty soon, they were having an affair.  When they were at the office, they acted like nothing had changed between them.  The funny thing is that when they were together, he didn’t think about Tessa at all.  It was only afterwards, when he was alone that he did.  He hated what he was doing to her.  She had no clue.  She trusted him.  He felt like a complete jerk but every time he tried to end his affair with Chanise, he chickened out the moment he saw her.

Last night, he couldn’t sleep.  The guilt was weighing heavily on him.  He had to end his relationship with Chanise.  He had to.  And today, he was on his way to do that.  They were supposed to be spending the weekend at his cottage.  It was in an idyllic rural setting.  He bought it a couple of years ago.  It was his escape from the hustle and bustle of the city.  Tessa loved it and thought that it would be a good idea for him to sell his flat and make this their home once they got married.  She loved the countryside.  He loved it too but wasn’t sure that he wanted to move out of the city.  Besides, being in the city made it more convenient for him to see Chanise.  Chanise.  He sighed heavily.  Breaking up with her was going to be very, very hard but he had to do it.

Her car was parked outside of the cottage when he got there.  Heart racing, he turned off the engine and got out of the jeep.  He walked up to the door and opened it.  She was in the living-room.  She got up from the sofa and went over to him, smiling.  “Hello, Gordon,” she murmured as she put her arms around his neck.

Unable to resist, he hugged her tightly against him.  He buried his face in her neck.  “Chanise…” he muttered thickly.  I can’t do this, he thought.  I can’t break up with her.  He raised his head and his mouth sought hers.  As they exchanged kisses, he picked her up and carried her upstairs to the master bedroom.

Tessa smiled as she drove along the winding road, her eyes danced behind the sunglasses as they swept over the mountains looming ahead. Hold on Tight by R3HAB, Conor Maynard was playing on the radio.  It was the same song that was playing the night Gordon went over to her place after breaking up with his ex.  They sat on the sofa not saying anything.  She knew that he didn’t want to be alone at the moment and she was just there for him.

I bet, he’s going to be surprised to see me, she thought.  She was supposed to be spending the weekend with her aunt in Bristol but her aunt had gotten the dates mixed up.  This weekend she was going to be in Manchester so they were on for the following weekend.  Tessa didn’t mind at all.  She was driving up to the cottage to be with Gordon and looking forward to spending a nice, romantic weekend with him.  She couldn’t wait to see the expression on his face when she showed up unexpectedly.  She laughed at thought and pressed her foot a little harder on the accelerator.

This was written for the #writephoto Prompt – Onward at Sue Vincent’s Daily Echo.