The Right Moment

Zahara sat in the library with text books and papers spread out on the table in front of her but she couldn’t concentrate.  She was thinking about Kyle and what happened last night.  After making love, and as they lay there, spent, she said, “I love you.”  The silence which followed that declaration made her wonder if it had been premature and she wished she could take the words back.

They lay there for a while, neither saying anything until he suggested, “Let’s take a nice hot shower together and then watch a movie.”  Before he rolled on to his side to climb out of the bed, he lowered his head and kissed her on the forehead.  Bummer, she thought, turning her head away so that he wouldn’t see the disappointment on her face.   She lay there for a few minutes longer before dragging herself out of the bed and joining him in the shower.  As they stood underneath the water, he bent his head and kissed her by the eye which felt very strange.

After they finished showering, he gave her one of his robes to wear and they relaxed on the sofa, sipping hot chocolate as they watched a movie.  It was some time later when they got dressed and he took her home.   She went straight to bed but lay there for a long time, staring up at the ceiling and wondering why he hadn’t told her that he loved her too.  Was it because he didn’t?  Did her profession of love put him in a spot?  She could still recall the silence which followed and how she wished the ground would open up and swallow her.  They had been dating for almost a year so she thought that it was time for them to drop the L-word.  Clearly, she was wrong.

Tears pricked her eyes and rolled on to her stomach so that she could bury her face in the pillow.  What was she going to do if it turned out that Kyle didn’t love her?  It was not until after one in the morning that she finally fell asleep and it was fitful.  When she got up later to get ready for college, she was very tired.  On the train ride she leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes all the way to her stop.  Before she walked to the campus, she grabbed herself a coffee.

As she sat there now in the library, she asked herself the same question.  What if he never said, “I love you” to her?  What then?  Should she end the relationship?  She couldn’t bear the thought of not being with him so she dismissed the idea of breaking up with him.  So what if he didn’t say the words she wanted so much to hear?  What about his actions?  Didn’t they speak louder than words?  She had read some where that you could tell when a guy was really into you.  She could still remember the five signs and Kyle had shown all of them.

She was a priority in his life.  He was always taking time to catch up with her and spend time together, sometimes, he even blew off friends and family just to be with her.  He was always talking about the future, using the words, “we” and “us”.  He had no problem showing public display of affection like holding her hand and placing his hand at the lower part of her back.  He actually listened to her talk about her day and whenever she had a crappy one, he always found some way to help her to feel better.  And so far she had met most of his relatives.  Just recently, they went to his cousin’s wedding.

If he loved her why couldn’t he just say so?  Frustrated, she gathered her books and papers and stuffed them in her bag.  She walked out of the library and out of the building.   She sat on the concrete slab attached to the statue of Ezra Cornell and reaching into her bag, she took out her cell phone.  She dialed Farrah’s number.  Farrah was the friend who had introduced her to Kyle.

When her friend answered, Zahara told her everything.  “I’m so confused,” she concluded.  “I want to believe that he loves me but after what happened last night, I’m not sure.”

“Anyone can see that Kyle is crazy about you, Zee.  Don’t jump to conclusions because he hasn’t told you that he loves you.  Maybe he’s better at expressing his feelings through actions rather than words.  Instead of telling you that he loves you, he’s showing you.  Sometimes love expressed is better than love professed.  Don’t get so hung up on this that you end up ruining a good thing.  Be thankful that you have a man who loves in action.   I know women who would love to trade places with you.  Kyle is a terrific guy.  Don’t throw away what you have with him over something as trivial as this.  Remember men and women are different.  We can’t expect them to do things the same way we do.”

Zahara sighed.  “Thanks, Farrah.  I’m glad I called you.  You’ve given me a lot to think about.  I love Kyle and I don’t want to lose him.  I will stop stressing out over this and just concentrate on loving him.”

“The love is there but he’s not ready to say it as yet.  And there was nothing wrong with you saying ‘I love you’ to him.  You couldn’t contain your feelings and wanted to express them in words.  So, don’t beat yourself up for doing that because he didn’t respond the same way.  Your timing is not his.  Be patient.  Be willing to wait until he he is ready to say that he loves you.”

“I will,” she promised.  And she did.  She didn’t obsess any more over Kyle not saying “I love you.”  She just focused on being with him and doing fun things with him.  And on the day of her graduation she walked proudly up on the stadium to get her diploma, grinning from ear to ear as she saw him taking pictures.  Afterwards, they went to his place to celebrate.  It was while they were curled up on the sofa, that he told her that he was taking her to Paris for two weeks. “It’s my graduation present to you,” he murmured huskily.

She was thrilled because she had never been to Europe.  Her eyes sparkled.  “Thank you, Kyle,” she said before she kissed him.

Paris was everything she had imagined and much more.  She felt like Alice in Wonderland.  Her eyes drank in everything as they went sightseeing and the food was so good.  She loved the little cafes and the cobbled streets.  One evening after dinner, they went for a walk along the Seine river where they lingered for a while. It was a beautiful evening.  The sun was beginning to set.  He took photos of her backing the Seine river before they headed for the Eiffel Tower which loomed ahead.

Taking her hands he drew her closer to him, his eyes intent on upturned face as he said, “The first time I saw you my heart stopped, the world stopped and there were just you and me in the room.    I couldn’t take my eyes off you and when Farrah introduced us, I was tongue tied and nervous.  I wanted to so much to spend the night talking to you and getting to know you but I couldn’t ignore our age difference.  You didn’t look a day over twenty and I was thirty-six.  You were a university student and I was the Director of a company.  And I was in a relationship.  Yet, in spite of these complications, I just couldn’t get you out of my mind.  I ended my relationship and I asked Farrah for your number and here we are.”

“The first time I saw you I didn’t think that a man like you would even notice me.  I stood there, watching you, hoping and praying for the impossible.”

“How could I not notice you?  When I saw you standing there alone, watching me, I fell hard and it scared me.  I had heard about love at first sight but never thought it would happen to me.”

Zahara’s eyes widened and her heart began to race.  “Are you saying that you love me?”

“Yes, Zahara.  I love you.  I have wanted to tell you that for such a long time but the moment never seemed right.  I didn’t want to say it before we became sexually involved because I didn’t want you to think that I was saying it to get you to sleep with me.  I didn’t want to say it during our love making because I didn’t want you to think that it was in the heat of the moment.  That evening when you said you loved me, you have no idea how much I wanted to say it to you but the time didn’t feel right.”

“I was so embarrassed and confused.”

“I’m so sorry, Honey.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.  I just wanted to wait for the right moment to tell you what I’ve wanted to tell you since we met.”

She smiled up at him.  “What could be a more perfect moment than this one?  We’re standing in front of the Eiffel Tower when you finally say the three words I have been longing to hear.”

They kissed and then he gently extricated himself from her.  He reached into the pocket of his jacket and got down on one knee.  “This is also the perfect moment for me to ask you a very important question,” he said, presenting a small red box.  Her eyes brimmed with tears as she saw him take out an exquisite diamond ring which glittered in the setting sun.  “Zahara, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she managed to say as she was choked up, the tears now streaming down her face.

Kyle stood up and cupping her face, he kissed her for several minutes before he buried his face in her neck and whispered, “I love you.”

Don’t wait for the right moment. Create it – Boldomatic

 

Sources:  EskimiHer Campus; Your Tango; Michael Hyatt

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On Top of the World

She stood there next to the doorway, debating whether

or not to spend at least half-hour sitting outside on the

café’s patio having her Latte.  It was such lovely

spring day with a light breeze.   She looked around at

the different people sitting there, enjoying the weather

and it was then that she spotted Antoine.  She stared at him

in surprise.  What was he doing here?  He was alone and having

what looked like a cup of cappuccino.

 

Heart pounding, she went over to his table and stood beside

the chair opposite his.  “Hello, Antoine.”  He looked very attractive

in the charcoal grey suit and black silk shirt.  She felt under-

dressed in her thin white blouse and denim skirt.

 

He glanced up and a smile spread slowly across his face.  “Hello,”

he greeted her softly.  “Join me.”  He stood up and walked round

the table to pull out the chair for her to sit.  She caught a whiff of

his aftershave.    After a slight hesitation, she sat down.  “I didn’t

think I would see you here,” she remarked.

 

His eyebrows rose quizzically.  “Why not?” he asked as he resumed

his seat.

 

“This isn’t the kind of establishment a man of your pedigree

would normally come to.”

 

He pursed his lips.  “I may be rich but I’m not a snob,” he

replied.  “I happen to like this café and have been here on

more than one occasion.

 

His gentle rebuke made her feel bad.  “I’m sorry,” she apologized.

 

“Do you have something against all rich men or just me in

particular?”

 

She lowered her eyes under his intent scrutiny.  “No, I don’t have

anything against you.  And you’re the only rich man I know.”

 

“I don’t want my wealth to be the cause any problems between us.”

 

“It-it isn’t.”

 

“Good.  How have you been, Cécile?  It has been a while since we

last saw each other.”

 

“I’m fine.  I got a promotion last week.”

 

“Congratulations.”

 

“Thank you.  What about you?  What have you been up to?”

 

“Aside from going on business trips,  I threw a bachelor party for

my brother, Sergei, attended my sister, Natasha’s wedding and

helped my parents to move to Saint-Chinian after their retired.”

 

She stared at him.  “You’ve been very busy.”

 

“Yes, I have been,” he agreed.  But during all that time I couldn’t

stop thinking about you and hoping that I would see you again.

“It’s nice to be sitting here and enjoying a cup of cappuccino.”

 

“Yes, I can imagine.”  You were too busy to think about me but I

have been thinking about you every day and wondering when I

would see you again.

 

“Is there a man in your life?” he asked suddenly, startling her.

 

She shook her head at once.  “No,” she answered, her mouth

going dry when she saw the expression on his face.

 

“That’s good to know,” he said quietly, “because I want to

be the man in your life.”  He reached over and covered

her hand with his, making her heart race and butterflies

flutter in her stomach.

 

She was at a loss for words.  She couldn’t believe this was

happening.  He was holding her hand and telling her that

he wanted to be her man.

 

“You’re speechless,” he observed.  “Have I shocked you?”

 

She nodded. “Yes,” she managed to say.

 

“Does it shock you to know that I want to be with you?”

 

“Yes.  You—you never indicated that you were interested in

me.”

 

“I guess I was better at hiding my feelings than I thought.  I’ve

wanted to be with you since we met but wasn’t sure that you

would feel the same way.  I got the impression that my wealth

posed a problem for you.  I hope I never made you feel that you

weren’t good enough for me.”

 

“You never did but I didn’t think you would want to date me

when—when there were plenty of other women, more

beautiful and sophisticated to choose from.”

 

His eyes darkened.  “Yes, I have dated beautiful women but none

of them could hold a candle to you.  You’re the most beautiful and

desirable woman I have ever met.  When I first saw you I thought of

the story Jesus told about the Merchant who found a pearl that was of

such great value to him that he went and sold everything he had so

he could buy it.  One look at you and I was willing to give up

everything I have just to be with you.  I still am.”

 

She blinked the tears that sprang to her eyes.  She had read that

story so many times but never did she ever imagine that a man

would think that she was as precious as that pearl which Jesus

likened to the kingdom of heaven.  “You don’t have to give up

anything to be with me,” she told him huskily.  “I want to be with

you too.”

 

He gently squeezed her hand.  “Good. What do you say to leaving

here and going for a walk along the Seine and then go to the top

of the Eiffel Tower just before the sun sets?”

 

She smiled.  “I say yes.”

 

They both got up and he reached for her hand as they left

the patio.  It felt wonderful holding hands and she couldn’t

stop smiling.

 

As they strolled along the Seine, stopping to soak up the

atmosphere and admire the surrounding architecture,

they made plans for the future.   When they were at the

top of the Eiffel Tower, gazing down at the city of love as

it was bathed in the warm glow of the setting sun, he pulled

her against him and whispered in her ear,  “I know that we’re

on top of the Eiffel Tower but right now, I’m on top of the

world because I’m with you.”

 

She leaned back against him and smiled.

 

 

Source:  Trip Advisor

The Move Back

After moving to Montreal in search of more employment opportunities and living there for four years, Elise decided to move back to Paris.  Living in Montreal made her nostalgic for the little cafes she used to haunt in the Latin Quarter.  She missed her family and friends.  Most of all, she missed Jules.

She found out from his mother that he was living in Marais.  When she looked at the address, she saw that it was within walking distance from her parent’s home.  His mother was happy to see her and they had a nice, long chat.  Elise asked her not to let Jules know that she was back.  She wanted to surprise him.  After promising to visit again, she left.

She went home and took a quick shower.  As she got dressed, she wondered how Jules would react when he saw her.  The night before she left for Canada, they had dinner at a restaurant which offered a spectacular view of the Eiffel Tower.  They talked about her move to Canada and after dinner, they went for a walk along the Seine River.  It was a beautiful night.  “Where will you stay?” he asked.

“I have an aunt who lives in Montreal.  I will stay with her until I find a job.”

He looked at her.  “I will miss you,” he said quietly.

She looked up at him.  “I will miss you too.”

“You will keep in touch, won’t you?”

“Of course, I will.”

They stood there for a moment, facing each other.  For a brief and maddening moment, she wanted him to kiss her.  “I’d better take you home,” he said.  “You have an early flight in the morning.”

Disappointed, she turned and fell into step beside him as they walked to his car.  They didn’t say much on the ride over to her house.  He walked her to the door and when they were standing out there, he reached down and hugged her.  She closed her eyes and hugged him back.  When he drew back, he stared down into her face for a long moment during which her heart was pounding fast and hard.  Then, he leaned over and kissed her.

It began as a tentative caress and then turned into a passionate kiss.  She reached up and gripped the sides of his jacket as she kissed him back.  This lasted for several minutes and then he pulled back and muttered, “Goodbye, Elise.”  Before she could say anything, he turned and quickly walked away from her.

She watched him go, her heart breaking.  Her parents were still up but she went straight up to her room and didn’t leave it until it was time to have breakfast before heading to the airport.

The next time she saw him it was in the summer of the following year.  She had no idea that he was in Montreal until he called her one afternoon from his hotel room.  Excited, she dropped everything and took a taxi over to the hotel.  She knocked on the door and it was opened immediately.  He smiled at her as she stood there in her tan colored jacket over a white dress, arms folded and grinning broadly.  Then she was throwing her arms around him, almost knocking him over.  “It’s so good to see you,” she exclaimed as they hugged.

“It’s good to see you too,” he said when they drew apart.  He pulled her into the room and closed the door.  Before she had a chance to look around the suite, his arms were around her waist and he was pulling her roughly against him.  “I’ve missed you so much,” he muttered thickly before he lowered his head and kissed her.  Elise’s arms traveled over his arms and found their way around his neck as she responded to his fiery kisses.

They ended up spending the rest of the afternoon in his suite and he ordered room service.  He spent three weeks which went by very quickly.  After that they saw each in the summer and over the Christmas holidays.

The knock on her bedroom door interrupted her daydreaming and she went and opened the door.  It was her mother.  “Your Aunt Lourdes invited us for dinner tonight,” she said.  “Would you like to join us?”

“Sorry, Maman, but I have other plans.  I’m going to see Jules.”

“So it is serious between Jules and you?”

Elise nodded.  “Yes, it is.”

“Well, I’m happy for you.  Jules is a very nice young man.  His mother did a very good job raising him.  I’ll see you later then.”  She turned to leave and then paused.  She looked over her shoulder.  “It is good to have you home again.”

“It’s good to be home, Maman,” she said.  When she was alone again, she quickly fixed her hair and checked herself in the mirror before hurrying out of the bedroom.  Five minutes later she was walking to Jules’ apartment building.

It was the last day in April so the weather was beginning to warm up somewhat.  The cashmere sweater she wore with the skinny jeans kept her warm and they looked great with her ballerina apartments.  As she hurried down the sidewalk, she hoped Jules was home.  He was.  When she rang the doorbell, she heard his footsteps and then the sound of the latch being pulled back.

He opened the door and started when he saw her.  His eyes grew wide.

“Surprise,” she said, laughing.

He stood there staring at her.  “What are you doing here?” he asked.  Then collecting himself, he took her arm and pulled her inside the apartment.  After closing and locking the door, he turned to look at her.  “Why didn’t you call or email me to tell me that you were going to be in Paris.”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, you succeeded.  How long are you here for?”

“I’m here for good.  I’m not going back to Montreal.  I moved back to Paris.”

“When did you move back?”

“This morning.  I’m staying at my parents’ house for now.”  He looked so cute in his white polo tee shirt and blue jeans.  “How many of these things do you have?” she asked, tugging at the sleeve.

“Too many,” he replied dryly.  He reached for her and pulled her against him, his eyes dropping to her lips, his parting in anticipation.  “Kiss me.”

“I thought you’d never ask,” she murmured huskily before she reached up and pulled his head down to hers.

Several hours later, they were relaxing on the sofa.  She was wearing his robe.  She turned to look at him, reaching over and running her fingers through his hair which was still a bit damp from the shower.  He rested his hand on her thigh.  “Why did you really move to Montreal?” he asked.

“I was trying to prove something to myself.  Growing up, I always felt so unsure of myself.  I was the gawky kid who didn’t think she was particularly good at anything.  In high school, I wanted to be daring like some of the girls but I didn’t have the guts to do it.  It changed when I was in college.  I was more confident because my academic excellence.  In a sense, I’m happy that I went to Montreal.  Being there made me realize that my identity is more than my accomplishments or my failures.  It’s who I am as a person.  I don’t see myself as awkward any more, just unique.”

“And I see you as the incredible woman I love and want to spend the rest of my life with,” he said reaching into the pocket of his robe and pulling out a small box.

Elise gaped as he opened it and revealed an exquisitely beautiful diamond ring.  “When did you…?”

“I bought it in January and was planning to give it to you when I saw you in June.  But, now that you’re here, I see no reason why I shouldn’t give it to you now.”  He slid off the sofa and got on one knee.  “Elise, will you marry me?”

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.  The tears in her eyes made him a big blur.  She felt rather than saw him slip the ring on her finger.  She brushed the tears away.  He got up from the floor and sat beside her again.  He pulled her onto his lap and his mouth found hers.  She put her arms around his neck, closing her eyes as she kissed him back.  She couldn’t wait to see her mother’s face when she showed her the ring.

 

Sources:  Interstude; Paris Insider’s Guide;

Moving Out

She stood there, suitcases packed in the small flat she had called home for eight years. Memories flooded her mind as she stepped to the window and gazed across at the park.   They had been so happy when they moved in.  After dating each other for two years, they decided that they would take big step of moving in together.   Of course, her parents hadn’t been thrilled.  They were Christians and didn’t believe in unmarried people living together.   At the time she wasn’t into church that much and felt that if two people loved each other, there wasn’t anything wrong with them living together.  This flat was Mike’s and hers.  Besides, they had talked about the possibility of getting married one day.

She smiled as she remembered how they had to order take out because she had burnt the roast because she had forgotten to set the timer.  It was the smoke coming out of the oven that alerted her and she managed to turn off the oven and open the windows before the smoke alarm went off.  Mike had been a good sport about it.  Since then, she had improved greatly in the kitchen.

The smile faded and tears sprang to her eyes.  She was leaving Mike.  After ten years together, she was ending their relationship.  It was hard.  She had invested so much in this relationship but she couldn’t continue like this.  Whenever she brought up the subject of them getting married, he seemed reluctant to talk about it or hedged around it until she dropped it.   Then, one evening she asked him point blank as they were having dinner if he wanted to get married.  He told her that he wasn’t ready.  He said that he liked things the way they were at the moment.  Marriage was a big step and he just wasn’t ready to take it right now.  Besides, they hadn’t really seriously talked about it, right?  It was something that was possible one of these days, just not now.  They were still young and had plenty of time to think about tying the knot.

She didn’t mention marriage again after that but it weighed on her mind.  Living together was troubling her now and it became a conviction when she started going to church with her friend.  The first time she went was when Mike was away on business. Carla invited her one Saturday morning and she absolutely loved it.  The people were so warm and friendly and she felt at home.  She went to church every Saturday after that and one day, she could have sworn that the pastor was speaking directly to her.  That day she was convinced that it was wrong for her to be living with a man she wasn’t married to.  When Mike got back from his trip she shared her feelings with him and he got angry.

“I will not be forced into getting married just because you suddenly have an attack of conscience,” he declared before he stormed out of the apartment.  After that their relationship was strained.  Whenever he wanted to make love, she said she had a headache until he finally stopped trying.  They hardly spoke.  Most of the time she ate alone.  He was gone when she got up in the mornings and was in bed when he got in. The business trips became more frequent.   She was miserable.  She spoke to Carla about it and her friend encouraged her to pray about the situation.  She did and she was convinced that God wanted her to move out.  And here she was.  Suitcases packed and ready to say goodbye to the man she had loved for ten years.  Marriage was out of the question as far as he was concerned and she couldn’t settle for less.  So, this was it.  She had to leave.  She was taking only her clothes and trinkets and books.  Everything else she was going to leave.  Carla offered her the guest room until she found a place.

She turned away from the window and walked over to the mantelpiece where several photos of Mike and her stood.  She reached for the one of them standing in front of the Eiffel Tower.  They had spent two weeks in Paris.  She had believed that they would return there one day–perhaps for their honeymoon.   She was tempted to take the photo but shook her head and turned away.  She didn’t want any reminders of what they once had.  The memories would always be there.  She didn’t need any physical reminders or mementos.  She glanced at the letter she had propped up beside the photo.  She had written it last night.  In it she explained why she had to leave and that she loved him. She will always love him.  She also mentioned that she would leave her key in the rental office.

She walked over to where her suitcases were and she pulled them behind her.  She opened the door and put them outside in the passageway and then turned and locked the door.   As she went slowly down the hallway, she felt as if her heart would break.   She left the key at the rental office, not seeing the curious look the woman gave her as she walked away.

Before she climbed into the taxi, she turned and looked up at the window of the flat which overlooked the park one final time.

looking to the sky