Severe Morning Sickness

Asian woman have a morning sickness

When I was pregnant, I didn’t experience any morning sickness.  I have heard of some women who experience it with the one pregnancy but not the other.  Some, like Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, however, suffer from severe morning sickness known as Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

What is Hyperemesis Gravidarum?  It literally means “excessive vomiting in pregnancy”. Hyperemesis starts early, usually before week five of pregnancy.  

Signs and symptoms of hyperemesis gravidarum:

  • Severe nausea and vomiting
  • Food aversions
  • Weight loss of 5% or more of pre-pregnancy weight
  • Decrease in urination
  • Dehydration
  • Headaches
  • Confusion
  • Fainting
  • Jaundice
  • Extreme fatigue
  • Low blood pressure
  • Rapid heart rate
  • Loss of skin elasticity
  • Secondary anxiety/depression

In some cases it is so severe that the woman has to be hospitalized.  Hospital treatment may include:

  • Intravenous fluids (IV) – to restore hydration, electrolytes, vitamins, and nutrients
  • Tube feeding:
    • Nasogastric – restores nutrients through a tube passing through the nose and into the stomach
    • Percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy – restores nutrients through a tube passing through the abdomen and into the stomach; requires a surgical procedure
  • Medications – metoclopramide, antihistamines, and antireflux medications*

Some women might require bed rest but not too much.  My cousin’s wife needed bed rest for both of her pregnancies.  Other treatments include herbs such as ginger and peppermint; homeopathic remedies prescribed by your doctor;  hypnosis and Acupressure.  The pressure point where you can reduce nausea is located at the middle of the inner wrist.  It’s three finger lengths from the crease of the wrist between the two tendons.  When you locate it, you press one wrist firmly at a time for three minutes.  Sea bands can also be used and are available at the drugstore.

Before trying anything, always consult your doctor. For more information on hyperemesis gravidarum you check out HER (Hyperemesis Education & Research) Foundation.

Two things you ought to know:  your baby isn’t at risk.  William and Kate are parents of three beautiful, robust children.  In a post, a woman suffering from HG, gained only 12 pounds by 41 weeks pregnant gave birth to a 7.5 boy which is average.   She cautions mothers not to assume that because the Duchess of Cambridge suffered from HG during all three of her pregnancies, it means that you will every time you’re pregnant.

Studies vary, but most find that women have a good chance of experiencing HG in future pregnancies. Statistics suggest over 50% will have it with each pregnancy and those with more than one experience of HG have a greater risk of experiencing HG in future pregnancies. It also seems to occur in similar patterns and severity, though it is not always consistent. Those who have mothers, grandmothers, or sisters who have had HG will often have at least some nausea and vomiting during pregnancy – HER Foundation

Don’t let these studies discourage you, Moms.  Hang in there.

Sources:  American Pregnancy; Baby Center

Why He Married Her

Lindsey was leaving the drugstore when she ran into Alicia, a former university classmate and Alton’s ex-girlfriend.  The stunning blonde gave her a nasty look.

“Well, if it isn’t the expectant mother.” she said.  Her eyes dropped to Lindsey’s midriff.

Lindsey didn’t answer.  Of all the people she could have run into, why did it have to be her?

Alicia’s gaze returned to Lindsey’s face.  Jealousy and resentment flashed in her green eyes.  “You know why he married you, don’t you?” she asked.  “It isn’t because he loves you.  You got pregnant and he wanted to do the honorable thing.”

“I really don’t have to stand here and listen to this,” Lindsey said and brushed past her, seething.  On the drive home, she fumed.  She turned on the radio and to a Christian station.  Gospel music filled the car.  It helped to calm her down.

When she got in, she went straight to the kitchen to fix herself something to eat.  She was hungry.  She carried the large plate of wild rice, stew Chicken, veggies and potatoes, with salad on the side into the living-room.  She settled comfortably in the sofa and ate as she watched reruns of Downton Abbey.  When she was finished eating, she got up and put the dirty dishes into the Dish washer, had a tall glass of milk and then went back to the living-room.  She relaxed on the sofa with her feet on the coffee table.

A couple of hours later, she read her Bible, made dinner and then took a nap.  When she woke up, it was six o’clock.  Alton would be home at any minute.  She got up, took a shower, fixed her hair and went downstairs.  She heated dinner and then laid it out on the table in the dining-room.  Just as she put the glasses of Cranberry Juice on the table, she heard the key turn in the lock.  She left the dining-room and went into the foyer.  The door opened and Alton went in.  He smiled when he saw her.  After he closed and locked the door, he greeted her, “Hello, Sweetheart.”  He hugged and kissed her, thankful to be home.  “How was your day?”

“The usual,” she replied, helping him to remove his jacket.  “I went to the drugstore to pick up the Materna.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I feel fine.  The morning sickness isn’t as so bad anymore.  How was your day?”

“Busy as usual.  It’s great to be home.  Something smells really good.”

She took his hand and led him to the dining-room.  “I thought we’d eat in here for a change,” she said.  Usually, they ate in the kitchen.  “I’ll be right back.”  She went and got a pair of candles and placed them on the table.  After she lit them, they sat down.  He said Grace and then they tucked into the Beef and Parmesan Pasta. 

Over dinner, they talked about his day, the plans his company had that would bring in even more revenue which meant that they would be able to buy a house outside of the city.  As she listened to him talk, her mind alighted on her run in with Alicia.  She wondered if she should mention it.  No, she decided that then wasn’t the right time.  She didn’t want to spoil their evening.  She would tell him later.  The nagging doubts rose to the surface but she pushed them away.

After he helped her to clear the table, he went to take a shower while she loaded the dishwasher.  She was in the living-room when he joined her.  He was wearing just a pajama pants.  It was during the summer.  He sat next to her and rested his arm along the back of the sofa.  They watched a couple of movies and then called it a night.

He was in and out of the bathroom quickly while she stayed a while longer.  After she wiped the top of the sink she switched off the light and went into the bedroom.  He was lying under the covers.  He rolled over unto his side when he heard her but when she stood there watching him, he asked, “Aren’t you coming to bed.”

“In a minute,” she answered.

He sat up, frowning.  “What’s the matter, Lin?”

“I ran into Alicia this morning.”

He grimaced.  “What happened?”

Lindsey told him.  “Is this why you married me?” she asked, placing her hand on her swollen abdomen.

Alton threw back the covers and climbed out of the bed.  He went over to her, towering over her as she stood there, in the black vest and silk pajama shorts.  He hooked his finger under her chin and raised her face until she was looking up at him, her eyes wide as they met his.  “You should know by now why I married you,” he said quietly.

She swallowed.  “Maybe I need for you to tell me,” she replied.

“I love you, Lin,” he confessed.  “I would have married you even if you hadn’t gotten pregnant.  Alicia’s bitter because I broke up with her long before I met you.  She wants to ruin our relationship.  Don’t let her.  She knows I married you because I love you.”

“I’m sorry,” Lindsey mumbled.  “I had my doubts and she just played on them.  I guess I never could get over the fact that a guy like you would be interested in me.”

His eyes darkened on her face.  “You’re the most beautiful and desirable woman I know.  The first time I saw you, I knew that I was in trouble.  As you recall, I didn’t waste anytime introducing myself to you and asking you out.  I fell hard for you and was planning to ask you to marry me when you told me that you were pregnant.  I was on top of the world, Lin.  Didn’t you ever wonder how was able to put a ring on your finger the same night as your announcement?”

She nodded.  And at that moment, she felt like a complete fool.  “I’m sorry,” she apologized again, lowering her eyes.

“Oh, Lindsey,” Alton muttered thickly before he lowered his head and kissed her.

She put her arms around his waist and pressed against him as she kissed him back.  As they exchanged passionate kisses, he picked her up and carried her over to the bed.

He laid her gently down and stretched out beside her.  Lying on his side, he gazed down into her face, his face flushed.  “You wanted me to say that I love you,” he murmured huskily.  “Now, I’m going to show you how much.”  He lowered his head and she reached up and clutched his head.

“I love you,” she whispered just before their lips touched.

 

After the Wedding Surprise

It was the morning of his wedding day and Quinn was walking along the beach Kay and he had stumbled across quite by accident.  He decided to come here before heading over to Arthur’s home where he was to get dressed and then head over to the church.  It was a beautiful, sunny day in early April.  The temperature was mild but a light jacket was still needed.

As he walked along the water’s edge, he remembered the last time he was here.  He smiled as he recalled how he had chased Kay after she suddenly took off and caught her.  And they rolled on the sand, laughing and then, they ended up making love.  His eyes darkened at the memory. When she looked up at him with those big brown eyes of hers, it made his heart stop and he lost his head.  Today, he was going to marry her and he couldn’t wait.

Shoving his hands deep in his pockets, he turned toward the ocean.  Oh Kay, I hope that I will make you as happy as you have made me.  

This couldn’t be happening–not today of all days.  It was her wedding day and in a couple of hours she was going to be walking down the aisle.  She tried not to panic and closed her eyes as she waited for the nausea to pass.  Her mother was coming over in a little while to help her to get ready.

A couple of minutes later, she sat up first to make sure she was all right and then she climbed out of the bed.  She went into the bathroom and before she brushed her teeth, she looked at herself in the mirror. Today, you are going to marry the man you adore.  Excitement filled her and she began to hum as she brushed her teeth.  She couldn’t wait to see him and exchange vows or to fly off to Turks and Caicos for their honeymoon.

As she stepped into the shower, she hoped and prayed that nothing would ruin today.   Joanna, her soon to be sister-in-law was going to be at the wedding but she was determined that she wasn’t going to let her spoil her day. Since she found out about her relationship with Quinn, the older woman had made it no secret that she didn’t approve.  Out of courtesy, though, Kay invited her to the wedding.  Arthur, Quinn’s older brother promised to keep her in check.  Quinn’s niece, Louisa, was one of her bridesmaids.  It was going to be a glorious occasion, in spite of Joanna.

She had just finished taking her shower and put on her dressing-gown when the doorbell rang.  It was her mother.  “Hello Mom,” she said, hugging her.  “You look great.”  Her mother was wearing a salmon color skirt suit and her new haircut gave her an elegant look.

“Thanks, Honey.  What about you?  Today’s your big day.  How are you feeling?”

“Mom, I’m been feeling nauseous lately,” she said to her when they went into the living-room and sat down on the sofa.

Her mother asked, “Have you noticed anything else?”

“Yes, I’ve been going to the bathroom more often, I feel more tired than usual and bloated.  I usually feel this way when I have my period but the nausea is new.”

“Have you had your period?”

She shook her head.  “It hasn’t come at all.” And then it dawned on her.  “Oh, Mom, do you think I’m pregnant?”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out.”  She went to the phone and dialed her other daughter’s number.  “Joyce, this might sound like a strange request but could you stop by the drugstore and pick up a pregnancy test for Kay?  I’ll explain when you get here.  Thanks.”

Kay sighed.  “I’m already nervous as it is,” she said.  “What if I’m pregnant?”

“Then, you put off your honeymoon for a day or two and go and see the doctor.  In the meantime, you need to snack often and drink lots of fluids.  I will fix you something and you should take a couple of ginger sweets with you in case you feel the nausea coming on while you’re at the church or at the reception.  Kay, you should have gone to see the doctor when these symptoms began.”

“I thought it was PMS and when I didn’t see any signs of my period, I thought it was late or that the cycle was changing.  You’re right, though, I should have gone to a walk-in clinic.  There’s one close to where I work.”

“Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  Joyce will bring the test and if you will soon find out whether or not you’re pregnant.  Have you had anything to eat?”

She shook her head.  “I’ve been too nervous and excited to eat anything.”

“Would you like me to scramble some eggs and–?”

She shook her head. “No, thanks, Mom.  I don’t want to eat anything heavy right now.  Maybe just two slices of toast with jam and some Ginger tea.”

“All right.  I’ll be right back.”

Kay leaned back against the cushions, smiling as she heard her mother moving about in the kitchen.  It took her back to when she was living at home and her mother was always busy in the kitchen while sat in the living-room watching TV or doing her homework.  A few minutes later, she brought out a plate with two slices of whole wheat toast, spread with jam and a steaming cup of Ginger tea.  She placed the cup on the coffee table and the plate on Kay’s lap.  Kay wasn’t hungry but she forced herself to eat, taking her time.  When she was done, she leaned over and put the plate on the coffee table and picked up the Ginger tea which she sipped.  It was still hot and it hit the right spot.

“If it turns out that you’re pregnant, you need to keep hydrated and eat small frequent meals to help with the morning sickness.”

“Did you have morning sickness?”

“I did with Joyce but not with you.”

“I wonder if the same thing will happen with me.  I have morning sickness with the first child but not with the others?”

“How many children do you and Quinn plan to have?”

“I think four is a nice even number.”

“Well, I suppose that’s all right.  My mother had six and your Aunt Lynette had eight.  I had two.  If your father hadn’t passed away, it’s possible that we might have had more children.  Anyway, when it comes to pregnancy, every woman’s experience is different.   Joyce didn’t experience morning sickness in either pregnancy.”

“Lucky girl.”

Just then, the doorbell rang and her mother got up.  “It’s Joyce.”

Kay’s heart leapt in her chest.  She drained the cup and set it down on the table.  I am about to find out if I’m pregnant or not.  She rose to her feet just as her mother and sister joined her.  Joyce went over and they hugged.  “Thanks for picking this up for me,” she said to her when she handed her the box.

“Don’t mention it.  This is the one that the pharmacist recommended.”

Kay looked at it.  Clearblue.  One line meant not pregnant and two meant pregnant.  “Well, it’s time to find out if I’m going to have a baby or not.”  She went into the bathroom, closed the door and followed the instructions on the box.  When she was finished, she put back on her dressing-gown and waited.

When the time was up, she checked the display and her heart did a somersault.  The word, pregnant seemed to jump out at her.  As she stood there staring at it, she tried to figure out when it could have happened.  Quinn and she had always be careful.  Every time they made love, he wore protection.  So when could they have had unprotected sex?  Then, she remembered the afternoon on a secluded beach…

It was late in the afternoon and they decided to go there before heading back to his flat.  They held hands as they walked along the water’s edge and then, she suddenly broke away from him and ran towards the rocks, laughing.  He ran after her and caught her by the waist.  They fell to the ground and rolled around in the sand, laughing and then he was looking down at her as she lay there with her arms pinned above her head.  The laughter died away and their expressions became serious as they stared at each other.  Then, he lowered his head and kissed her.  She eagerly responded, her hands aching to be free so that she could bury her fingers in his hair.

For several minutes they exchanged passionate kisses and then, her hands were free as he drew back to drag his tee shirt over his head.  She reached up and pulled him back down, her fingers gripping his hair as they kissed.  They ended up making love behind the rock in the shade.  Afterwards, they laid there for a while, wrapped in each other’s arms, the gentle breeze caressing them and by the time they left the beach, the sun was setting.

The knock on the door jolted her back to the present and she opened it.  Her mother and Joyce went in.  “Well?”

Without saying a word, Kay showed them the result.

“Are you going to tell Quinn in the limo on the ride over to the reception?”

Kay shook her head.  “No, Mom.  I want to see a doctor first to confirm that I am pregnant before I tell him.”

“What about your doctor?” Joyce asked.

“Unfortunately, she’s on vacation.  I’ll have to go to the walk-in clinic.”

“I can take you to Oxford Walk-in Clinic tomorrow morning,” Joyce offered.

“What do I say to Quinn?”

“Just tell him that I’m taking you shopping for clothes for your honeymoon.”

“I don’t want to lie to him–”

“You won’t be lying.  After we’re through with the clinic, we’ll really go to the mall and pick up some things for your trip.”

“All right.  Thanks, Joyce.  Fortunately, Quinn and I are going on our honeymoon in a couple of days.  So, I will know for sure by then and if it is confirmed that I’m pregnant, I will make sure to take whatever prenatal information I need with me.”

“Most doctors will recommend prenatal vitamins with Folic Acid which is very important because it has been shown to dramatically decrease the risk of neural tube defects like Spina Bifida.  For both of my pregnancies, I used the Spring Valley Prenatal Multivitamin/Multimineral with Folic Acic.”

“I’ll make a note of that.”

“How are you feeling?” Her mother asked.

“Much better since I had the toast with jam and Ginger tea.  I had better start getting ready.”  She went into her bedroom and soon came back out wearing her wedding dress.  It was a gorgeous off the shoulder full lace ballgown in soft apricot with ivory lace overlay, a sweetheart bust-line and long lace sleeves with a deep V back and a satin bow to finish the look.  It was beautiful in its simplicity and it flattered her figure and complexion.  Her dark curls looked stark against the veil which her mother now placed on her head and her makeup was subtle.  Neutral eye shadow,  little blush on the cheeks and peach/pink gloss lip gloss.  The tear drop earrings added a touch of elegance and went perfectly with the lace.

“You look stunning,” Joyce remarked, giving her the look over before whipping out her iPhone to take pictures.

Kay’s mother looked at her, her face beaming.  “You look picture perfect,” she said.

Kay smiled.  “Thank you, both for making me feel beautiful.”

“Well, it’s time we head over to the church,” Joyce said, putting away her phone.  “The car should be here any minute.”

Ten minutes later, they were heading down the lift to the lobby.  The car was waiting outside and they got in the back.  Kay and her mother sat next to each other while Joyce sat opposite them.  And then, they were off to the church.

“Mom, do you have any last minute advice for me before I walk down the aisle?” Kay asked, her heart pounding as they approached front of the church.

“Yes.  Take very good care of Quinn.  That man worships the ground you walk on.  Don’t let anything or anyone come between you.”

The limo stopped and the driver came around to hold the door open for them.  Kay got out first and then her mother and sister.  They went into the church and ten minutes later, Kay was walking down the aisle with her favorite uncle.

Kay’s face was radiant as she gazed up at Quinn, her heart almost bursting with the love she had for him.

Quinn looked at her, never imagining that it was possible to love her more than he already did.

They read the vows they had written for each other, bringing tears to a lot of eyes in the church.  When they were pronounced husband and wife and kissed, everyone cheered, even Joanna.  Before Kay walked down the aisle, she had gone to see her.  Understandably, Kay stiffened when she saw her.  “May I speak to you alone for a moment?” she asked and Kay nodded.

After her mother and sister left the room, Joanna cleared her throat.  “Kay, I want to apologize for the way I’ve treated you and the things I’ve said.  I guess I was being overprotective of Quinn.  He and I had always been very close and after our parents died, I took care of him.  I still think of him as my baby brother and sometimes treat him as such.  All I want is for him to be happy and I can see clearly now that you make him happy.  I guess I was jealous of you–jealous because you had done what other women failed to do–come between him and me.

“When I had expressed my disapproval of your relationship he told me that as much as he loved me he would never give you up.  He said that you were the love of his life–a part of him that he couldn’t live without.  I knew everything if I didn’t wise up and accept you, I would lose my brother.  As I watched the two of you exchange your vows, I realized that I was watching two people who truly love each other and would do anything to make the other happy.  I couldn’t ask for anything better than that for my brother.  Kay, I don’t deserve it but I hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive an ignorant woman.”

Tears sprang to Kay’s eyes.  “You have my forgiveness and my gratitude for being a part of the happiest day of our lives.”  She held out her arms and they hugged.

When Joanna drew back, there were tears in her eyes.  “Thank you,” she whispered before she turned and quickly left the room.  And now, she was throwing rice at the happy couple as they came down the stairs, laughing and holding hands before driving away in the limo to the reception.  The wedding was a festive and joyous occasion.  Everyone had a great time.  Quinn and Kay were exhausted by the time it was over.  They spent the night at her flat.  He went home the following morning to pack for the honeymoon and get other things in order.  He was going to return later to take her out for dinner and to spend the night.  Their flight was in the morning.

Joyce came by later that morning to take Kay to the walk-in clinic.  Kay tried to relax as she was examined and was thankful that she wasn’t experiencing any morning sickness.  After she had taken the necessary tests, she got dressed and waited.  Her heart skipped a beat when the doctor came into the room.  “Congratulations,” he said, smiling.  “You’re pregnant.”

After that everything was a blur.  She vaguely remember walking into the waiting room to where Joyce was.  One look at her face and Joyce was hugging her, excited.  “I’m going to be an aunt,” she exclaimed as they walked out of the clinic.  She took Kay to the mall as promised and afterwards, they had a bite to eat before they went back to Kay’s flat where they spent the rest of the afternoon.

Soon it was time to get ready for her dinner with Quinn.  Kay went and showered while Joyce checked in at home to make sure hubby and the kids were okay.  After she hung up she went into the room to check to check on Kay.  She needed help with the zipper at the back of her dress and the necklace fastened.

Kay took up the mirror and help it up as she examined the necklace.  It matched the dress perfectly and her makeup looked flawless.  She turned to Joyce.  “How do I look?”

Joyce smiled.  “Radiant.”  It was true.  She had the glow of a newlywed and expectant mother.

Kay beamed.  “Thanks to you.”  She put the mirror down.  “Quinn will be here any minute.”

Joyce hugged her.  “Enjoy your first dinner as a married couple tonight and have a wonderful time in Turks and Caicos.  I wish I could be there to see Quinn’s face when you tell him the news.”

“I can’t wait to see his face.  He’ll be such a wonderful father.  I will tell you all about it when we come back in two weeks.”  She hugged her sister again and went back inside the living-room to wait for Quinn.  After making sure she had her passport and candy just in case she felt nauseous on the flight she walked over to the window and looked out.  She had lived in this flat for over ten years now and had been relatively happy there but she was looking forward to moving in with Quinn.

She smiled as she imagined getting up every morning and making breakfast for him.  He was a great cook, much better than her but she looked forward to cooking for him.  And when the baby came, she would have another mouth to feed.  Nervousness and excitement filled her at the prospect of being a mother.  If she was anything like her own mother who raised two daughters on her own after their father died when Kay was only six, then she had nothing to worry about.  Besides, she had had lots of practice with her niece and nephew.  She smiled as she imagined Quinn changing dirty diapers.

The doorbell startled her out of her reverie and she went quickly to answer the door.  Quinn stood there, a broad smile on his face.  His eyes traveled over her and admiration shone in them.  “You look gorgeous,” he remarked before taking her in his arms and kissing her.

“You look gorgeous yourself,” she said when she drew back to gaze up at him.  He was dressed in a charcoal grey suit with a black silk shirt and matching black tie.

He smiled.  “Ready?”

“Yes.  I just have to put on my jacket.”

On the ride over to the restaurant, they talked about the wedding and how smoothly everything went.  She told him about Joanna and he was thrilled.  “It’s about time she came around,” he remarked.

When they got to the restaurant, Kay excused herself and went to the washroom.  “I didn’t remember to go before we left,” she said when she sat down.  Quinn smiled but didn’t say anything.   I wonder if I should tell him now or wait until we’re having dessert?

She decided to wait although all through the meal, she was just bursting to tell him.

His eyes widened when he saw her chowing down on the Ginger Chicken. “Wow, you must really be hungry.”

“I’m eating for two,” she blurted out.  Darn.  So much for waiting until dessert.

He stared at her as if he wasn’t sure he had heard her correctly.  “I beg your pardon?”

She reached over and covered the hand closer to her.  “I wanted to wait until we were having dessert before telling you that we’re going to have a baby.”  A smile tugged at her lips when she saw the expression on his face.

“A baby?” he sounded and looked dazed.  “You’re pregnant?”

“Yes.  Five weeks to be exact.”

His eyes were moist now.  “Are you all right?”

She nodded, misting up herself.  “I’m all right.  I hope it’s a boy and that he’ll be just like you.”

His eyes darkened.  “And I hope it’s a girl who will be beautiful just like her mother.”  He squeezed her hand gently.  “I love you.”

“And I love you.  And now, I’m going to have some more of this delicious chicken and another helping of bread and of course, dessert.”

Quinn swallowed the lump in his throat and picked up his fork.  He was going to be a father.

 

Sources:  Wiki How; Parents; The Bump; House of Mooshki;

Bundles of Joy

For with God nothing will be impossible – Luke 1:37

As she sat by the window, looking out, she recalled those turbulent years when Mark and she were trying in vain to have children.  They have been married for twelve years.  They met through a mutual friend and it was love at first sight.  They dated for a year and the following year they got engaged.  It was a small Spring wedding and after returning from their honeymoon in Montego Bay, they decided that they would buy a town house at Bayview Village.

After settling into their new home and adjusting to married life, they decided that it was time to try having a child.  She was late twenties when they got married and was hoping to have at least two children before she turned thirty.  A teacher at a Christian daycare, she loved children and longed for the day when she would have her own.  She knew that Mark would be a wonderful father.  She had seen him with his nieces and nephews.  They adored him.  Her friends were having children so she attended many baby showers.  As she had shopped for onesies and other gifts for their babies, she dreamed of one day buying for her own children.

Her heart yearned to hold her own baby when she held her friends’ babies.  At first, she was excited as she and Mark tried to conceive but as time went by and she wasn’t able to get pregnant, hope turned to despair.  Her faith began to waver and she questioned why God would deny Mark and her children.  Mark was her rock during those tough times, encouraging her not to give up and that God had a plan.

At night when he was asleep, she would lie awake and think about other women who had trouble conceiving.  She thought of Sarah, Hannah and Elizabeth who were barren but were blessed with sons.  Was it possible for the same thing to happen to her?  As she lay there one night, she was impressed to pray as Hannah did.  Sliding quietly out of the bed so as not to disturb Mark, she knelt at the side of the bed and prayed.

Like Hannah, she poured her heart out.  She ended the prayer by saying, “Lord, I know that nothing is impossible for you.  Thank you for hearing my prayer and for answering it.”  A peace that she had never felt before came over her and she climbed back into bed, believing that God had finally come through for her.

She was in very high spirits after that and waited patiently for God to do His part.  When she missed her period, she went to the drugstore and bought a home pregnancy test.  While Mark waited anxiously in the living-room, she went into the bathroom and took it.  Minutes, later, she emerged.  She showed him the results and he hugged her.   She made an appointment with their doctor who was happy to give her tests just to make sure.  And when the results confirmed that she was pregnant, she couldn’t prevent the tears of joy from falling.  She raised her eyes heavenward and gave thanks to God.

That night, Mark and she hugged and held each other for a while.  They were finally going to be parents.  Family, friends and church members were delighted for them and the next baby shower she attended was her own.  At the age of forty, exactly ten years after she had planned to have children, she gave birth to twins–a boy and a girl.  They named the boy, Jaden (Jehovah has heard) and the girl, Eliana (My God has answered).

And as she held the girl and Mark held the boy, she mouthed the words, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said, before he leaned over and kissed her.

 

A Sobering Lesson

She fluffed the pillows and then reached for the mystery novel she bought yesterday, feeling nice and snug under the thick, downy comforter while it flurried outside.  Just as she opened the book and began reading, the doorbell rang.  At first she ignored it, thinking that someone had made a mistake.  It happened sometimes.  When it rang persistently, she sighed irritably, closed her book and climbed out of bed.  She glanced at the time on her alarm radio.  It was ten-thirty.  Who could be calling at her flat at this time?

She slipped her feet into her slippers, pulled on her robe and hurried from the bedroom.  After switching on the light in the hall, she went to the front door and peered out.  Her eyes widened in surprise and dismay.  Immediately, she unlocked the door and flung it open, her expression censorious as she met the sheepish gaze of her teenage nephew.  “Christopher Holloway, what on earth are you doing here?  Do you have an idea what time it is?”

He shifted from one foot to the other, hands shoved in the pockets of his coat which was lightly dusted with snow.  “I’m sorry, Aunt Bev,” he said.  “But, I had to see you.”

“Come in,” she said, stepping aside to let him pass.  After she closed and locked the door, she turned to face him.  “Does your Dad know that you’re here?”

He shook his head.  “He wasn’t even home when I left.  Sometimes he stays out late.”

“Well, we’re going to call him right now so that he can come and get you.  Do you have his cell number on you?”

He nodded and reluctantly gave her his cell after speed dialing the number.  She took the phone from him.  It ran a few times and then a deep voice answered.  “Christopher?”

“No, it’s not Christopher.  It’s Beverley.  He’s with me.”

“What?” was the incredulous exclamation.   “What on earth is he doing there?”

“I’m about to find that out.  Can you please come and get him?”

“Yes, yes, of course.  Where do you live?”

She gave him the address.

“I should be there in less than half-hour.”

“See you then.”

She handed Christopher his cell.  “Give me your coat,” she said.  He had already removed his boots.  “Your Dadis coming to get you.  Would you like something hot to drink?”

He shook his head.  “No thanks.  I grabbed a hot chocolate on my way over.”

“Let’s go into the living-room.  I want to know why you’re here and on a school night.”  While he went over to the sofa, she hung his coat up in the closet.  Then, she went and sat down beside him.  “What’s going on?  Did you have a fight with your uncle?

He shook his head.  “No,” he said.  “Dad is cool.  No, this isn’t about him.”

She could see that something was troubling and she became concerned.  “Tell me what’s on your mind,” she said gently.

“I’m in trouble,” he disclosed after a few minutes passed.  “I mean we’re in trouble.”

“Who’s we?”

“Tasha and me.”

“Who’s Tasha?”

“She’s a girl at school.  We hang out together.  I really like her.”

“What did you mean when you said that you were in trouble?”

“Well, you see, Tasha and I went to her house after school a few weeks ago.  No one was home.  We went down in the basement and hung out there.  We were talking and then we started kissing which led to—“

“You and Tasha had sex,” she said, trying not to get upset.  “You’re only sixteen years old.  You shouldn’t be having sex at your age.”

“Most of my friends have already had sex.  One of them had sex when he was fourteen.”

She closed her eyes almost afraid to ask.  “Is Tasha pregnant?”

“We don’t know.  Her period was late.”

“Has she done a pregnancy test as yet?”

He shook his head.  “That’s why I’m here, Aunt Bev.  Tasha’s too nervous to go to the drugstore.  She’s afraid of someone seeing her and telling her mother.  I was wondering—we were both wondering if you could pick up one for her and then we can come over here and she takes the test.”

Bev didn’t know what to do.  She felt like she would be going behind Tasha’s mother’s back if she were to agree to get the pregnancy test but Christopher was her nephew and he came to her for help.  “All right,” she said.  “I’ll pick the test up.  Can you bring Tasha here tomorrow after school?  I’m not working this week.”

He looked relieved.  “Yes, I can,” he said.  “She usually walks home from school but we can take the bus here.  Thank you, Aunt Bev.”

She looked at him.  “I hope for your sake that she’s not pregnant.  You’re way too young to be a father.”

He hung his head.  “I know.  Things got out of hand.”  He looked up at her.  “You won’t tell Dad, would you?”

“No, I won’t.  I will leave that up to you.”  The doorbell rang.  “That must be him.”  She got up from the sofa and went to answer the door.  It was Warner.  She opened the door and after they greeted each other, she led him into the living-room where Christopher was.

He went over to his nephew and hugged him.  “Are you all right?” he asked.

Christopher nodded.  “I’m all right.  I had to see Aunt Bev about something.”

“It’s getting late,” Warner said.  “And you have school tomorrow.”

Bev went and got Christopher’s coat and as he pulled it on, she turned to Warner.  “I told Christopher that he can come by again tomorrow after school, if that’s okay with you.”

He nodded.  “That’s fine.”  He took out a business card and scribbled something on the back.  “My cell number,” he said, handing the card to her.

She took it and put it in the pocket of her robe.  Christopher joined them and she hugged him.  “Goodnight,” she murmured.

“Goodnight, Aunt Bev.  And thank you.”

They drew apart and she preceded them to the door.  Christopher stepped out into the hallway and waited for his uncle.   Warner paused to look at her.  “Goodnight,” he said quietly, his eyes lingering on her face.  She wished she knew what he was thinking.  At that moment, her heart was burning with a love she longed to express but couldn’t.   The memory of her sister was between them as a reminder that she could never take her place.

“Goodnight,” she said, forcing a smile before she closed the door and leaned against it.  It was just her luck to fall in love with her sister’s husband.  She remembered the first time Gail brought him round to their parents’ home to meet the family.  She introduced him and then announced that they were getting married.  It was a small ceremony at a chapel and the reception was held at a banquet hall.  Seven months later Christopher was born.  Bev wondered why Gail never told her about Warner or that she was pregnant.  She never got the chance to ask her because just 24 hours later after giving birth to Christopher, Gail died.  Her untimely death was caused by a pulmonary embolism which stopped her heart instantly.

The memory of Warner holding their son who would never again be held by his mother remained with her.  Tears pricked her eyes even now.  She watched as Warner became both parents to Christopher and it was during that time when she realized that she was in love with him.  For years she kept her feelings to herself and was content to be there for both of them whenever they needed her.  And as a result, Christopher and she developed a very strong bond.

When he was a baby, she would sit in the rocker and feed him while humming or talking to him about his mother or his father.  She enjoyed those times when she bathed him and held him in her arms as she rocked him gently to sleep.  Sometimes, she would take time off from work just to be with him.  As he lay in his crib, she would play with him or read stories.  She was the closest thing he had to a mother.  She watched him grow up into a fine young man.  It was just too bad that this situation with Tasha came up now.

Sighing, she moved away from the door, turned off the hall light and headed back to her room.  She hoped that everything would work out for his sake and Tasha’s.  The last thing either of them needed was an unplanned pregnancy.  Yawning, she climbed into bed and after putting the mystery novel on the bedside table, she switched off the lamp.

The following day she made soup and when it was close to time for Christopher and Tasha to drop by, she turned the stove on so that it would simmer.  It looked very cold outside.  Nice, hot homemade soup would do them very well.  Earlier that morning she had gone to the drugstore to pick up the pregnancy test.  It was one of the most highly recommended ones.

At four-thirty, Christopher and Tasha showed up at her flat.  The minute she saw the girl, her heart went out to her.  She looked scared and worried. Putting her arm around her shoulders, she drew her over to the sofa where they sat down.  Taking her hands in hers, she spoke to her.  “I know you are scared but we don’t know for sure if you’re pregnant.  Here’s the test.  Take it and then we will go from there.  Come, I will take you to the bathroom.”  She helped her up and took her to the bathroom and after making sure she knew what to do, she left her, closing the door behind her.

Christopher was hovering about, looking anxious.  She reached out and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.  “Whatever happens, we will deal with it together,” she said.

He nodded.  While they waited for Tasha, he held his aunt’s hand.  Several minutes passed and then Tasha came into the living-room.  She showed them the display.  There was one line.  “One line means I’m not pregnant,” she said.

Bev smiled.  “Well, that’s encouraging,” she said.

“What should I do now?” Tasha asked.

“Wait to see when your period will come.”

“And what if it doesn’t?”

“Hopefully, it does but if it doesn’t, then, you will have to go and see you family doctor.”  She put her arm around her.  “This test is known to be extremely accurate.  It could be that your period is late because your cycle has changed.”

“I hope so.”

“Come you, two, I have some hot, homemade soup ready for you.  Have a seat around the table.  And after you finish eating, you can stay a while and then, I’ll take you home.”

They seemed to be in better spirits and they spent a pleasant afternoon together before she dropped them to their respective homes.  A couple days later, she got a call from Tasha telling her excitedly that she got her period.  “I never thought I would be so happy to see it,” she exclaimed.  “Thank you so much, Miss Martin for your help.  Now I know why Chris talks so much about you.  You’re really cool.  I told my Mom and she was upset, of course.  Chris and I talked about it and we’re not going to see each other outside of school.  We will be just friends.  Thanks again for everything.”

After she hung up the phone, Bev went over to the sofa and sank down heavily, relief washing over her.  She offered a silent prayer of thanks.  Now Tasha and Christopher could put the whole ordeal behind them and get on with their lives.  This pregnancy scare put things into perspective for both of them and they had made the wise decision to keep things platonic between them.  She wondered if Christopher had gotten around to telling Warner.  She hoped so.

The doorbell rang and she got up, her head still spinning from the good news.  It was Warner.  She opened the door, smiling.  “Hello,” she said.

He wasn’t smiling.  He looked very serious. “I came over to talk to you about two very important matters,” he said.

“Okay.  Come in.  Where’s Christopher?”

“He’s gone to the cinema with some friends.”

“Would you like something to drink?”

“No, thank you.”

“What did you need to talk to me about?”

“Christopher told me about Tasha last night.  I didn’t lecture him because I think he learned a very valuable lesson but we had a long and very frank talk.”

“I’m happy that he told you.  I didn’t think it was my place to do so.”

“I’m just thankful that things turned out well.  Thanks for being there for Christopher as always.”

She smiled.  “He knows he can count on both of us.”

His expression changed again.  “The other thing I wanted to talk to you about is far more personal.”

Something about the way he was looking at her made her heart race.  “What is it?”

He took a deep breath.  “I will just come out and say it,” he muttered.  “I love you, Beverly. I wanted to tell you that for very long time but just never worked up the courage until now.”

He was the only one who called her Beverly.  When he said her name, it felt like a caress.  She stared at him now, hardly able to believe that he was telling her that he loved her.  “I love you too,” she murmured.  “I fell in love with you the first time we met but kept it hidden because of Gail.”

“I cared for Gail but I didn’t love her.  I married her because she was pregnant.  I wanted to do the honorable thing.  When I met you it was hard but I was committed to Gail and our marriage.  If she were still alive I would still be married to her all the while loving you.”

“And I would have spent the rest of my life loving you,” she said.  “So, where do we go from here?”

He reached for her hand and drew her toward him.  “I want you to marry me.  Christopher needs you and I need you.  What do you say, Beverly, will you marry me?”

She nodded, “Yes,” she said through tears.  And then, her hand flew up to her mouth when he produced a box which he was holding in his other hand.

“Christopher helped me to choose this one,” he said opening the box and taking out the ring.  He slipped it on her finger.

“It’s beautiful,” she said.

He reached up and cupped her face between her hands.  “Yes, but not half as beautiful as you,” he muttered before he lowered his head and kissed her.  She put her arms around his neck and kissed him back, thinking how true the saying was that good things come to those who wait.

Sources: People.com; Check Pregnancy

 

 

 

Sources: People.com; Check Pregnancy;

Love and Friendship

“I’m just going to the drugstore.  I’ll be back in a jiffy,” Alison called out to her cousin, Derek who was visiting from New York and staying at her place.  It was good having him around, even if it was for just a few days.  He helped to take her mind off Richard or least distract her from her misery as much as was possible.

She grabbed her handbag and headed to the door.  When she opened it, she was startled to see Richard standing there.  “Richard!” she exclaimed.  Her heart lurched.  Joy and dread mingled at the sight of him.  How she missed him.  It had been about two weeks now.  She longed to throw her arms around him and tell him how much she loved him but she didn’t.  She couldn’t.  They were just friends.

His face was pale and his eyes were restless on her face.  “I had to see you, Alison,” he muttered.  “I miss you.”

She swallowed hard.  “I-I was on my way out,” she told him when what she really wanted to say was, “I miss you too.”

“Please let me come in.”

She stepped aside and let him in.  She closed the door and leaned against it for a moment.  He turned to face her and was about to take a step closer to her when Derek walked into the room, talking to someone on his cell.  He stopped when he saw them.

Richard looked at him and then at her.  His expression darkened.  “Is he the reason why you haven’t been returning my calls?” he asked.  “Are you and he–?”

“No.  Derek is my cousin.  He’s here from New York.  He came for the Caribbean Carnival.  He leaves tomorrow.”

Derek finished his call.  He looked apologetic.  “I thought you had left,” he said to Alison.  He turned to Richard.  “Sorry, Man, I was just leaving.  I’m Derek, by the way.”  He held out his hand.

Richard shook it.  “Richard.”

“Richard, I’ll be with you in a minute,” Alison told him.  He went over to the sofa and sat down.

“Is he your boyfriend,” Derek asked in a low voice.

Alison shook her head.  “No. We are just friends.”

Derek looked surprised.  “Really?  Well, when he saw me he acted more like a jealous boyfriend than a friend.  I’ll see you later.”  He called over his shoulder, “Nice meeting you, Richard.”  And then he was out of there.

Alison closed the door and walked slowly over to the sofa.  She sat down.  Richard was staring at her. “How have you been, Richard?” she asked.

“How do you think I have been, Alison?” he demanded.  “It has been two weeks since we last saw or spoke to each other.  I have been miserable.  Why have you been avoiding me?  Have you met someone? Do you think he would have a problem with our friendship?”

“I haven’t met anyone, Richard.”

“Then why haven’t you called me or visited or answered my calls?  I thought we were friends.”

She got up agitated.  “That’s the problem,” she said.  “I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.”

He jumped to his feet and taking her by the shoulders, he turned her round to face him.  He looked distraught.  “What do you mean?” he asked.  “Why don’t you want us to be friends anymore?”

With him this close, his eyes penetrating hers, she couldn’t think straight but she had to tell him the truth.  She owed him that much.  “I want to be more than friends, Richard.  I have wanted it for a long time now.”

He looked stunned.  Then, his countenance brightened.  “Oh, Alison,” he cried.  “You really had me scared.  I was going to tell you that if I couldn’t have your heart, at least I could still have your friendship but, when you said that you didn’t want us to be friends anymore I nearly lost it.”

Alison’s expression was frank.  “You have my heart, Richard,” she confessed.  “You have had it for a long time now.  I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know if you felt the same way.  And I couldn’t go on pretending that I was fine with just being friends.”

“And that is why you stopped seeing me for two weeks?  You have no idea how much I suffered during that time and until now.  I thought you had met someone and I was out of my mind with jealousy, wondering who he was.  And when I saw Derek, I thought–well, you know what I thought.  Yet, I would still have wanted to be your friend.  It would be better than not having you in my life anymore but I was relieved when you told me that he was your cousin.”

“Derek was right.  He said that you were jealous.”

“I was.”

“You have no reason to be jealous of anyone, Richard.  I love you.”

“And, I love you, Alison.”  He bent his head and kissed her.

Moments later, she drew back to look up into his flushed face.  “Derek won’t be back until later.  We have the apartment all to ourselves.”

He smiled.  “That sounds good.  You and I have a lot of catching up to do.”

black and white couple

Single Mothers

Some years ago, I was part of a ministry which reached out to women and children living in shelters. One of my favorite things was collecting donated items and taking them to the shelter.  The staff was just as excited as my assistant and I were.  It was like Christmas every time we went there because mothers and their children were going to get things they really needed.  I remember buying photo albums and cameras for the expectant mothers so that they could capture those precious moments. One staff member mentioned that the women did scrapbooking as a form of therapy so we bought scrapbooks.

 

One of the women I met at the shelter was a young, single mother.  We took items for her and her unborn child.  After she left the shelter we kept in touch at her request.  We dropped off donated items for her and met her family.  When she was in the hospital, she called to give me the good news–she had a son.  Sadly, we lost touch.  I hope that she and her son are doing well.  I think the last I heard, she was working at a drugstore.  She believed in God and found comfort in His Word.

 

I remember that a church member had a problem with our ministry helping this unwed mother.  I believe that sometimes Christians are so particular about what is morally right and wrong that they neglect what is needed–compassion.  When Jesus interacted with the Samaritan woman, not once did He make her feel ashamed or embarrassed.  He showed her love and compassion.  He even commended her for being honest about her current living arrangement.  She was living with a man who was not her husband after having gone through more than one failed marriage.  Instead of condemning her or refusing to have anything to do with her or withholding His love, Jesus offered her living water. He offered her salvation.  He showed her grace.  The way He treated her compelled the woman to go and tell others about Him.

 

It’s tough enough for some women to raise children on their own without having to deal with criticism and feeling that they had committed the unpardonable sin.  I met a young woman who worked at the same homeless shelter.  She left her church because of the people.  They treated her shamefully because she had had a child out of wedlock.  The church is not expected to ignore these things or excuse them but at the same time, they are not to be judgmental.  They are to be mindful that people will fall into sin and that they need compassion.  Only God is allowed to judge.  And the Bible assures us that when we confess our sins, God is just and faithful to forgive us.  Jesus didn’t condemn the woman caught in adultery but He told her to stop sinning.

 

Single mothers should not be made to feel bad because they had a child outside of marriage.  Mind you, some choose to raise their children on their own without the help of the fathers.  It’s sad to know that many women stay away from church because they are ashamed and they are afraid of the kind of reception they would get once it was discovered that they are unwed mothers.  People might be friendly until they notice that there is no wedding ring.  In churches where people don’t wear rings such as the Seventh-day Adventist church, it would be harder to tell until they notice that she and her child are never accompanied by a male.  Someone might come right out and ask her about her husband.  She could evade the question or be like the Samaritan woman and admit that she is not married.  It won’t be long before she feels uncomfortable being there and will stop attending.

 

I was reading this post written by a Christian woman who was an unwed teenage mom and she made the point that there was nothing at her church for single mothers. Ashamed, she stopped going to church and for seven years she lived in shame.  She calls for churches to step up and reach out to the single mothers in their midst.  “Whether they are unwed or divorced, many single moms need parenting advice, financial instruction, emotional support via networking, and Spiritual growth opportunities.  Let us find these women in our communities, both the churched and the unchurched.  Let us minister to them at their point of need.  Let’s begin the single moms groups.  Praise God for the cutting-edge churches across the country who have already embraced the concept!  Has yours?”

 

Does your church have a ministry for single mothers?  If you were to suggest this to your pastor do you think that your pastor would be open to it?  We are all sinners and we all fall short of the glory of God. Most single mothers don’t plan to have children out of wedlock.  Many dream of falling in love, getting married and then having children.  I know of women who regret having children before they got married.  Some of them envy other women who got married first.   One woman is currently living with her partner and their child and is hoping that one day they would get married.  Until that happens, she doesn’t feel comfortable going to church.  And she has no plans of returning to the church she had been a member of until they discovered that she was pregnant.  She left the church after she learned that there were members who were out for her blood.  The whole experience had been a traumatic one for her and it took a while for her to reach the point where she could put it behind her and forgive the people who condemned her.

 

As a church, we ought to reach out to unwed mothers inside and outside of the church.  If your church doesn’t have a ministry to help these women, pitch the idea.  Start a ministry.  It can be a part of the Singles’ or Women’s Ministries or Community Service.  Do something.  I was moved to start the ministry because I wanted to follow Jesus’ example and to be a good neighbor like the Samaritan man.  Although I am no longer at the church, the ministry is still going strong.  If you don’t feel comfortable approaching your pastor about starting the ministry, then you can find a single mother who needs help and help her. You can encourage other church members who might be interested to help the other single mothers in the church.  Be a light right where you are.  By helping these mothers, you are fulfilling Jesus’ commandment to love your neighbor.

 

Single Mother