Keeping Them Safe

Childhood is the most beautiful of all life’s seasons – Author Unknown

Remember when you were a child how you used to blow bubbles and your face lit up with excitement when you got really big ones?  Oh, the simple things in life that children enjoy.  If only they could remain in their little world of wonder, exploration, discovery and innocence.

As a parent, I wish I could keep my son in a bubble where evil people didn’t exist.  I wish he didn’t have to be told not to talk to or go anywhere with strangers.  Growing up in Guyana, children could play in safety.  When their parents weren’t around, neighbors would watch out for them.  I lived in a bubble. There were so many things I didn’t know about or was exposed to.  I never knew that sexual predators existed or ever heard about pedophilia until I moved to North America.  Maybe those things existed but I wasn’t privy to them and I’m thankful for that because I don’t know how the knowledge would have affected my childish brain.

Is it foolish or naive to want to protect your children from what is out there?  Are we helping them when we put off telling them about the dangers that exist?  There are things I wish I never knew about but would I be any better off living in ignorance?  Is ignorance really bliss?  Not in this age when lack of knowledge and little or no awareness can make the difference between our safety and harm.  Our children need to know that there are dangerous people out there who wouldn’t think twice about harming them or worse…

How do you tell them?  You can do it in such a way that they don’t get scared or anxious.  My ten year old suggests that the parent tell the child a story because a child would rather listen to a story than hear the message spoken plainly.  This reminds me of Jesus who spoke to people in parables when He wanted to teach them valuable lessons.

Other ways to keep our kids safe when they are away from home, school, in the street, the park or playground are colouring pictures, quizzes, activities or stories.  Having your child practice ‘Just say NO to strangers’ rule particularly through supervised role play gives him or her the confidence to deal if a stranger approaches and tries to trick them into getting into a car or pretends to have a lost dog or gift for the child.

To find websites that may help parents, teachers or caretakers to teach children about stranger danger and child protection, please click on this link.  In the News clip featuring Safety Now – Stranger Danger, parents were disturbed to see how a friendly stranger was able to lure some children away to help him to find his lost dog.  At the end of the video, the following tips are given:

• Don’t take you eyes off the child
• The child should back away
• The child should yell and run to a parent

Dr. Phil said that there are steps we can take to protect our kids without scaring them.  Here are the steps:

• Talk to your kids early and often. Teach them to self-protect. Don’t be afraid that you’ll make them paranoid. Children actually feel empowered when they feel understand that they have the power to protect themselves.
• Don’t ask children to deal with adult issues. Explain things in terms they can understand, such as good and evil. Don’t share the gory details with them.
• Tell your kids to avoid strangers. Adults just don’t ask kids for directions.
• While it’s important for children to respect adults and those in authority, give them permission to act impolite, rude, or scream and yell when they feel that something’s not right. It’s OK for them to make a scene or to yell for help, and let them know they will not get in trouble if they were mistaken.
• Teach kids to yell with specificity: “This is not my Daddy!” or “Somebody help me!”

The safety of our children is our responsibility.   They have a right to grow up and feel safe.

Sources:  Free for Kids; YouTube; Quotey Quotes; Dr. Phil

Sojourner Truth

Empowered by her religious faith, the former slave worked tirelessly for many years to transform national attitudes and institutions. According to Nell Painter, Princeton professor and Truth biographer, “No other woman who had gone through the ordeal of slavery managed to survive with sufficient strength, poise and self-confidence to become a public presence over the long term.”
(Painter, Sojourner Truth: A Life, A Symbol, page 4)

In celebration of Black History Month, Notes to Women salutes Sojourner Truth, a devout Christian, abolitionist and Women’s Rights activist.  She was reputed to be the most famous African American woman in America in the 19th century.

For over forty years she traveled around the country, passionately and forcefully speaking for the abolition of slavery, women’s rights and suffrage, the rights of freedmen, temperance, prison reform and the termination of capital punishment.  She changed her name from Isabella to Sojourner Truth, a seeker after truth, becoming a traveling itinerant preacher so that she could tell the truth and crusade against injustice.  She was not intimidated by convention or authority.  She was known for her sense of humour which she used to squash self-righteousness.  She once derided some of the women social activists who wore frivolous clothing, saying to them, “What kind of reformers be you, with goose-wings on your heads, as if you were going to fly, and dressed in such ridiculous fashion, talking about reform and women’s rights?” (Narrative, Book of Life, p.243).

She made her most famous address, Ain’t I a Woman at a Women’s Rights Convention in Akron, Ohio where she asserted that women deserved equal rights with men because they were as equally as capable as men.  She testified, “I have plowed and reaped and husked and chopped and moved, and can any man do more than that?”  She concluded her speech saying, “And how came Jesus into the world?  Through God who created Him and the woman who bore Him.  Man, where was your part?” (Anti-Slavery Bugle, June, 1851).

Watch this video of this remarkable woman.

We celebrate the “world’s oldest lecturer” who, as a woman of faith could not keep silent when those created in God’s image were denied their human rights and equality.  Her memory lives on in the many local memorials and tributes established in her honor in Battle Creek.  In 1997, a year long celebration marked the 200th anniversary of Sojourner’s birth.  One day was not enough to celebrate this special lady.  She has left behind a legacy survival, strength, courage and the passion to transform attitudes and and institutions.  She inspires us to speak out against injustice, inequality and oppression and to stand up for truth and to act instead of talk.

If women want any rights more than they’s got, why don’t they just take them, and not be talking about it.

Truth is powerful and it prevails.

Religion without humanity is very poor human stuff.

“Does not God love colored children as well as white children? And did not the same Savior die to save the one as well as the other?” (Sabbath School Convention, Battle Creek, June 1863)

Sources: YouTube;  Sojourner Truth; Brainy Quotes

 

 

 

 

Driven for Change

All I did was ask for rights. I didn’t attack anyone. I didn’t harass anyone. I didn’t oppose the system or the country or the authority. All I said is, ‘Why can’t I drive?’

I was born and grew up in a country where it was nothing out of the ordinary for women to drive.  My mother drove.  My aunt drove her own car.  And now I live in a country where women drive cars, buses and vans.  Imagine not being about to drive to work, drop your kids off to school or run errands.  This was the reality for women in Saudi Arabia and it was the ban on women driving which drove Manal al-Sharif to help to help start a women’s right to drive campaign in 2011.

Manal was filmed driving a car as part of the campaign.  In May 2011, she was detained and released but was arrested again the following day.  Her arrest helped rather than defeated her cause.  It showed that no matter what the cost, she was determined to stand up for what she believed.

Watch Manal share her story and try to imagine what it would be like to receive death threats because you dared to get behind the wheel of a car and have the video of this posted on Facebook.

In the video Manal declared what the purpose of the campaign was. “This is a volunteer campaign to help the girls of this country [learn to drive]. At least for times of emergency, God forbid. What if whoever is driving them gets a heart attack?” These were valid points.  The other day one of my co-workers had to go leave work for a doctor’s appointment.  Imagine if she were living in Saudi Arabia.  She would have to call her husband to go and pick her up from work, take her to the doctor’s office.  The husband would either have to wait until the appointment was over or if this wasn’t an option, he would have to go back to work and then back to the doctor’s office.  What an inconvenience!

Read this personal experience of a woman who currently lives in Saudi Arabia.  Not being able to drive is just one of the restrictions women face.  Under Saudi law, all females must have a male guardian such a father, brother, husband or son.  Girls and women are forbidden from travelling, conducting official business, or undergoing certain medical procedures without permission from their male guardians.  Depending on the guardian, women may also need permission to marry, divorce, to get an education, get a job or open a bank account.

Mandal is working to have male guardianship annulled.  And I hope that she succeeds.  Women are not children.  They are adults, capable of making their own decisions.  Women and girls should not have to get permission to be educated. Education is a privilege that everyone should have a right to enjoy.  And women should have to right to employment, earning their own money and opening a bank account where they can deposit their earnings.

There as some women, however, who defend male guardianship.  One such woman was Noura Abdulrahman, a female employee of the Saudi Ministry of Education. In a 2010 interview with the New York Times, she declared that male guardianship provided protection and love.  

In Saudi culture, women have their integrity and a special life that is separate from men. As a Saudi woman, I demand to have a guardian. My work requires me to go to different regions of Saudi Arabia, and during my business trips I always bring my husband or my brother. They ask nothing in return—they only want to be with me.

The image in the West is that we are dominated by men, but they always forget the aspect of love. People who aren’t familiar with Shariah often have the wrong idea. If you want stability and safety in your life, if you want a husband who takes care of you, you won’t find it except in Islam.

Men can love and protect women without taking away their rights to be independent, free-thinking individuals who should be treated as equals.  God created women in His image and never intended them to be treated as second class citizens with no rights.  Opponents of male guardianship cite cases in which women’s careers were ended by their guardians or they lost their children due to a lack of custody rights.  In 2009, there was the case of a father who vetoed several of his daughter’s attempts to marry outside their tribe and punished her by sending her to a mental institution.  Activist Wajeha Al-Huwaider agrees that while most Saudi men are caring, “it’s the same kind of feeling they have for handicapped people or for animals. The kindness comes from pity, from lack of respect.” She compares male guardianship to slavery.

The ownership of a woman is passed from one man to another. Ownership of the woman is passed from the father or the brother to another man, the husband. The woman is merely a piece of merchandise, which is passed over to someone else—her guardian … Ultimately, I think women are greatly feared. When I compare the Saudi man with other Arab men, I can say that the Saudi is the only man who could not compete with the woman. He could not compete, so what did he do with her? … The woman has capabilities. When women study, they compete with the men for jobs. All jobs are open to men. 90% of them are open to men. You do not feel any competition … If you do not face competition from the Saudi woman … you have the entire scene for yourself. All positions and jobs are reserved for you. Therefore, you are a spoiled and self-indulged man – Wajeha Al-Huwaider

Notes to Women would like to recognize Manal, a fearless woman who is continuing to fight for the rights of Saudi women. She remains an active critic of the Saudi government.  She started a Twitter campaign called “Faraj” to release Saudi, Filipino and Indonesian women prisoners in the Dammam women’s prison who “are locked up just because they owe a small sum of money but cannot afford to pay the debt”.  She tweeted about the lack of elections for the Shura Council, and the murder of Lama al-Ghamdi.  Her work has been recognized by Foreign Policy, Time, and the Oslo Freedom Forum.  Hers is a voice that refuses to be silenced until there is change.

Today, let us stand with Manal and the women of Saudi Arabia.  Let us take action.  Let us raise our voices and call for change.  And let us be thankful that we live in countries where we have access to education, employment, our own bank accounts and have a say in matters that concern us.

We won’t stop until the first Saudi license is issued to a woman.

When women break that taboo and they’re not afraid to drive that car by herself – that’s it. Now she has the guts to speak up for herself and take action.

Women tell me they are different since 21 May – the day I was arrested – it’s a positive change, they believe now.

Sources:  Wikipedia; TED; Brainy Quotes; Women’s Rights

Correction

The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother – Proverbs 29:15

Sometimes talking to your child doesn’t work.  Time out doesn’t work.  I have been told that some children learn the hard way.  It’s embarrassing for mothers when they take the children out to the mall or grocery store and they are forced to give the child whatever he or she wants just to keep the child from making a fuss.

The Bible is not opposed to spanking or whatever necessary discipline it takes to keep the child in line.  It is for the child’s benefit that they do not get their own way.  It must always be clear that the parent is in charge and the child has to obey.  Ellen G. White had the right idea.  “Any child that is permitted to have his own way will dishonour God and bring his father and mother to shame….By neglecting their duty and indulging their children in wrong, parents close to them the gates of the city of God.”

The Bible cannot emphasize enough the importance of discipline in a child’s life. Discipline is an act of love.  “He who spares his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Proverbs 13:24).  Children need and want discipline because they need to know that boundaries exist and that they need to stay within them.  These are your child’s formative years so you need to correct him or her while there is still time and hope (see Proverbs 19:18)

Sometimes the best thing a parent could say to a child, is, “No.”  Children need to know that there are rules that they need to abide by.  Their responsibilities are to follow instructions, obey their parents, teachers and anyone in authority as long as these instructions are never contrary to God’s Word.  Wisdom comes from following instructions.  Once children do what is required of them, all will be well with them.   They will bring honour to God and their parents.

Jesus is among Us

“And I tell you once more that if two of you on earth agree in asking for anything it will be granted to you by my Heavenly Father. For wherever two or three people come together in my name, I am there, right among you!” (Matthew 18:19-20, Phillips).

It is important that people are of one mind, purpose when they come together to pray for something.  They must have faith and not doubt.  They must be of one accord.  In Acts 4:24-30, the apostles came together and prayed to God in one accord.  When they were finished, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness (English Standard Version).  They agreed to pray and ask God to give them the boldness they needed to spread the Gospel and God answered their prayer. 

When we come together in Jesus’ name or in a manner which He approves, He is there with us.  We must be in harmony—not arguing about who is the greatest as the disciples did among themselves on one occasion or thinking about ourselves and ambitions like James and John when they wanted to sit on either side of Jesus.  We must love one another as Christ commanded us.  We must have the mind of Christ which consists of love, peace, obedience. 

Jesus is the link between earth and heaven so when we come together in His name, we are using the name which gives us the authority to do what we must on earth and what will be accepted in heaven.  It was in the name of Jesus that the disciples came together and were filled with the Holy Spirit, giving them the courage they needed to carry out Jesus’ great commission. 

We have Jesus’ assurance that He will be with us.  We are not alone.  He is always present.  He said so before He parted from His disciples. (Matthew 28:20).   

Jesus taught us what effective prayer is.  It must not only be offered in faith but it must be persistent.  Don’t be discouraged when an answer does not come when you expect.  Keep asking, seeking and knocking until the door is opened to you.  My fiance once prayed for a family.  This was in 2003.  Three years later God answered his prayer.  During the three years, my fiance did not give up.  He prayed everyday.  He asked in faith and persistence and it was given to him.  Sometimes answers to our prayers are delayed because God has to work on other things in order to make our plans come true (Genesis 39:20-41).  Sometimes our prayers are not answered because the things we ask amiss (James 4:3).  And sometimes our prayers are answered right away (Genesis 24:15). 

It is encouraging to know that whether it is one person praying or two or more, Jesus, our Intercessor is present and our prayer will be answered according to the Father’s will.