Together At Last

She was in a thrift store looking through one of the racks when she glanced up and saw him walk in.  He looked as good as ever.  He was standing now beside the rack where the ties were.  She made her way quickly over to him.  “Hi Kent,” she went up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.

He turned around and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw her.  “Hello Tia,” he said quietly.  His gaze eagerly traveled over her as if the sight of her was something he had been longing for.  “It’s good to see you.  How have you been?”

“It’s good to see you too.  I’ve been well.  How about you?”

“I heard about Eric and you,” he said.  “I haven’t been in touch with him since he told me that your engagement was over.”

Eric was her fiancé and Kent’s best friend.  She had broken off her engagement after meeting Kent two years ago.  “I didn’t mean to hurt him but I couldn’t marry him knowing that I didn’t love him.”

“Have dinner with me tonight, Tia,” he said, his eyes restless on her face.

“As much I want to, I can’t, Kent,” she said.

“I’m divorced now.  Iris finally agreed to give me the divorce.  I suspect it has to do with the new man in her life.”

She met Iris on several occasions and the animosity the other woman felt toward her was so obvious that Tia wondered if she knew that she had feelings for her husband.  Iris was a rich and beautiful woman but hardly anyone liked her and Tia couldn’t imagine why Kent married her.  “Why did you marry her?” she asked now.

“She got pregnant,” he admitted.  “I wanted to do the right thing—the noble thing and marry her.  Soon after we got married, she had a miscarriage.  By then, I regretted marrying her but she refused to give me a divorce.  No one in her family had ever been divorced and she didn’t want to be the only one.  So, I was trapped in a marriage that I wanted desperately out of and things got worse when I met you.”

“How did meeting me make things worse?” she asked.

“From the very first moment I saw you, I wanted you.  Iris accused me of having an affair and she was right.  In my mind I was having one with you.  I couldn’t stop thinking about you and wanting you.  I felt guilty not only because of my marriage but because of Eric.  Have dinner with me tonight, Tia.  We’re both free now.”

He was right.  There was nothing or no one standing in their way anymore.  “All right,” she said.  She gave him her address and number.

“I’ll see you at seven,” he said.

She put her arm around his neck as she reached up and kissed him on the cheek. She felt his arms hold her against him and when she drew back, she saw him staring at her lips, his eyes dark with desire and his face flushed.  Her gaze lowered to his and as she saw them move closer to hers, the temptation to kiss him was so great that hers parted in anticipation.

Then, she heard someone cough behind her and she was aware of where they were.  She pulled away.  “I’ll see you then,” she said.

He nodded before he left, seeming to forget why he went to the store in the first place.  After he was gone, she went over to the rack with the ties.  She picked out the one she saw him looking at and she bought it along with a couple of blouses for herself.

At seven, he was at her flat and she was dressed and waiting for him.  He liked what he saw and she was pleased.  The jet black crepe lace dress with the sweetheart neckline fitted her snugly, flattering her shape and her legs looked good in the black caged heels.  He looked gorgeous in a black suit, white shirt and no tie.  He took her to a popular Italian restaurant where they enjoyed good food, wine and cozy atmosphere.  They spoke about a lot of things.  They had much catching up to do.

When they were having their dessert, he asked, “Why did you get engaged to Eric if you didn’t love him?”

She thought about his question for a moment.  “I guess, I was thinking that I’m getting older and I was ready to settle down and have children,” she acknowledged.  “I’m forty years old.  Most of my friends and relatives are married and have children.  My younger sister got married last year and is expecting her second child.  Eric proposed and I accepted.  He was a decent guy.  I liked him and I thought that in time I would grow to love him but I was just kidding myself.  I knew that it wouldn’t work out between us, especially not after meeting you.”

“So, if I weren’t married when we met, you and I would have been together all this time?”

“Well, I would have waited for a little time after breaking off my engagement just out of decency.”

“Yes, it wouldn’t have looked good if you and I began seeing each other soon after you ended your relationship with Eric.  And he was my friend.  I’m sorry that we lost touch although, I can’t imagine that he would want to maintain our friendship now on account of you.”

“I’m sorry that he got hurt in all of this.  I hope that he finds a good woman and forgets about me.”

“I can’t imagine any man forgetting you,” Kent said, huskily, covering her hand with his.  “I tried to but it didn’t work.  I couldn’t get you out of my mind or out of my system.  You filled my thoughts and my dreams.  After I met you, I stopped sleeping in the same bed with Iris and moved to another room.  She wasn’t happy at all.  She demanded that I be a husband to her in every sense but I couldn’t and that’s when she accused me of cheating on her.  She insisted on knowing who the woman was but I refused to say anything.   She never suspected that it was you.  I was careful to hide my feelings whenever you and I were around each other.”

“She didn’t like me and was so hostile toward me that I wondered if she suspected that I had feelings for you.”

“It doesn’t matter now.  She is out of my life.  You and I can be together now.  Would you like to come back to my place for a nightcap?”

She nodded and he squeezed her hand gently before signaling to the waiter for the bill.  On the way over to his flat, he said, “How would you like to go with me to Venice for a week?”

Her eyes widened.  “Venice?” she exclaimed.

“Yes.  I have always imagined going there with the woman I fall in love with because it is a romantic city.”  They were at a traffic light and he turned to her.  “I love you, Tia.  I fell in love with you the first time we met.”

Her eyes welled with tears.  “I love you too,” she said.

He reached over and kissed her until the light changed. “Then, we will go to Venice, the perfect city for lovers,” he said as he turned his attention back to the road.

They loved Venice so much that they returned a couple of months later for their honeymoon.

Listen to God

 

And to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it,’

Cursed is the ground on account of you;
    in hard labor you will eat of it
    all the days of your life.
 Thorns and thistles it will bring forth for you,
    and you will eat the plants of the field.
 By the sweat of your face
    you will eat bread
until you return to the ground,
    because out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
    and to dust you will return” – Genesis 3:17-19

I’m sure many of us have listened to someone against our better judgment and regretted it.  Adam listened to Eve who encouraged him to eat the fruit which both of them were forbidden to eat.  God had told them that if they ate it they would surely die.  There were no ifs, ands or buts.  The consequences for disobeying Him would cost them their lives and more.

Adam knew where Eve got the fruit from.  She had taken a bit and was giving it to him.  She must have told him what the serpent had said.  And the fact that she was still alive may have persuaded Adam that eating the fruit was not a bad thing to do.  God had said that they would die if they ate it but Eve wasn’t dead.  She was there before him, her eyes sparkling and her face flushed.  She looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her.  The serpent must be right.  There was no harm in eating the fruit.  So, he took it from her and ate it.  The moment he tasted the fruit, things changed.

Why do we tend to listen to other people instead of God?  His Word is there to guide us, to keep us safe yet we tend to listen to and follow bad advice.  And we place our love for our spouses and children above our love to God.  The Bible says, “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”  We show God we love Him when we obey Him even when we are pressured or tempted to do otherwise.  Our loved ones may try to get us to do something that is contrary to God’s will but we have a choice to make.  We can choose to listen to God or listen to them.  No one can force us to do anything.  Eve didn’t force Adam to disobey God.  He chose to do so.  And the consequences of that choice were far-reaching and as a result sin, suffering, death came into the world and their relationship with God and each other changed.  The family dynamics changed.  The husband became the head of the home and the wife was to be subject to him.  Childbirth was not meant to be a painful experience but it is and working for a living was not supposed to be hard but it is.  And we were not supposed to experience death but we all will.  Our choices can affect not only us but others too.  God knew what tragedies disobedience would bring to Adam and Eve and the world if they didn’t listen to Him.

Today, choose to listen to God.  Don’t let anyone persuade you to do anything that would draw you away from God.  Let your spiritual walk be such that when God comes looking for you and calls out, “Where are you?” you can show yourself and say, “Here I am, Lord.”

 

Driven for Change

All I did was ask for rights. I didn’t attack anyone. I didn’t harass anyone. I didn’t oppose the system or the country or the authority. All I said is, ‘Why can’t I drive?’

I was born and grew up in a country where it was nothing out of the ordinary for women to drive.  My mother drove.  My aunt drove her own car.  And now I live in a country where women drive cars, buses and vans.  Imagine not being about to drive to work, drop your kids off to school or run errands.  This was the reality for women in Saudi Arabia and it was the ban on women driving which drove Manal al-Sharif to help to help start a women’s right to drive campaign in 2011.

Manal was filmed driving a car as part of the campaign.  In May 2011, she was detained and released but was arrested again the following day.  Her arrest helped rather than defeated her cause.  It showed that no matter what the cost, she was determined to stand up for what she believed.

Watch Manal share her story and try to imagine what it would be like to receive death threats because you dared to get behind the wheel of a car and have the video of this posted on Facebook.

In the video Manal declared what the purpose of the campaign was. “This is a volunteer campaign to help the girls of this country [learn to drive]. At least for times of emergency, God forbid. What if whoever is driving them gets a heart attack?” These were valid points.  The other day one of my co-workers had to go leave work for a doctor’s appointment.  Imagine if she were living in Saudi Arabia.  She would have to call her husband to go and pick her up from work, take her to the doctor’s office.  The husband would either have to wait until the appointment was over or if this wasn’t an option, he would have to go back to work and then back to the doctor’s office.  What an inconvenience!

Read this personal experience of a woman who currently lives in Saudi Arabia.  Not being able to drive is just one of the restrictions women face.  Under Saudi law, all females must have a male guardian such a father, brother, husband or son.  Girls and women are forbidden from travelling, conducting official business, or undergoing certain medical procedures without permission from their male guardians.  Depending on the guardian, women may also need permission to marry, divorce, to get an education, get a job or open a bank account.

Mandal is working to have male guardianship annulled.  And I hope that she succeeds.  Women are not children.  They are adults, capable of making their own decisions.  Women and girls should not have to get permission to be educated. Education is a privilege that everyone should have a right to enjoy.  And women should have to right to employment, earning their own money and opening a bank account where they can deposit their earnings.

There as some women, however, who defend male guardianship.  One such woman was Noura Abdulrahman, a female employee of the Saudi Ministry of Education. In a 2010 interview with the New York Times, she declared that male guardianship provided protection and love.  

In Saudi culture, women have their integrity and a special life that is separate from men. As a Saudi woman, I demand to have a guardian. My work requires me to go to different regions of Saudi Arabia, and during my business trips I always bring my husband or my brother. They ask nothing in return—they only want to be with me.

The image in the West is that we are dominated by men, but they always forget the aspect of love. People who aren’t familiar with Shariah often have the wrong idea. If you want stability and safety in your life, if you want a husband who takes care of you, you won’t find it except in Islam.

Men can love and protect women without taking away their rights to be independent, free-thinking individuals who should be treated as equals.  God created women in His image and never intended them to be treated as second class citizens with no rights.  Opponents of male guardianship cite cases in which women’s careers were ended by their guardians or they lost their children due to a lack of custody rights.  In 2009, there was the case of a father who vetoed several of his daughter’s attempts to marry outside their tribe and punished her by sending her to a mental institution.  Activist Wajeha Al-Huwaider agrees that while most Saudi men are caring, “it’s the same kind of feeling they have for handicapped people or for animals. The kindness comes from pity, from lack of respect.” She compares male guardianship to slavery.

The ownership of a woman is passed from one man to another. Ownership of the woman is passed from the father or the brother to another man, the husband. The woman is merely a piece of merchandise, which is passed over to someone else—her guardian … Ultimately, I think women are greatly feared. When I compare the Saudi man with other Arab men, I can say that the Saudi is the only man who could not compete with the woman. He could not compete, so what did he do with her? … The woman has capabilities. When women study, they compete with the men for jobs. All jobs are open to men. 90% of them are open to men. You do not feel any competition … If you do not face competition from the Saudi woman … you have the entire scene for yourself. All positions and jobs are reserved for you. Therefore, you are a spoiled and self-indulged man – Wajeha Al-Huwaider

Notes to Women would like to recognize Manal, a fearless woman who is continuing to fight for the rights of Saudi women. She remains an active critic of the Saudi government.  She started a Twitter campaign called “Faraj” to release Saudi, Filipino and Indonesian women prisoners in the Dammam women’s prison who “are locked up just because they owe a small sum of money but cannot afford to pay the debt”.  She tweeted about the lack of elections for the Shura Council, and the murder of Lama al-Ghamdi.  Her work has been recognized by Foreign Policy, Time, and the Oslo Freedom Forum.  Hers is a voice that refuses to be silenced until there is change.

Today, let us stand with Manal and the women of Saudi Arabia.  Let us take action.  Let us raise our voices and call for change.  And let us be thankful that we live in countries where we have access to education, employment, our own bank accounts and have a say in matters that concern us.

We won’t stop until the first Saudi license is issued to a woman.

When women break that taboo and they’re not afraid to drive that car by herself – that’s it. Now she has the guts to speak up for herself and take action.

Women tell me they are different since 21 May – the day I was arrested – it’s a positive change, they believe now.

Sources:  Wikipedia; TED; Brainy Quotes; Women’s Rights