Still Reeling

Kalisa still couldn’t believe it. She didn’t want to believe it. Deandre had a girlfriend. She should have known that a handsome man like him wouldn’t be single but she had hoped…What good had that hope done her?

She had come to Jacksonville because of him. She had enrolled at the university where he taught English literature, hoping that they could rekindle their romance only to find out that he had a girlfriend. If she had known that he was already in a relationship, she wouldn’t have come to Jacksonville. She would have saved herself this heartache. Yet, she knew that even if she knew that he had a girlfriend, she wouldn’t have been able to stop yearning for him or wishing that they could still be together.

She sat there in the empty dining-room, feeling utterly depressed and her eyes were worn from crying. What was she going to do now? Transfer to another university? What good would that do? Return to Kigali? No, the thought of returning to poverty was out of the question. No. She would remain at this university and concentrate on her studies. She must forget any foolish ideas of having a future with Deandre. Their relationship from now on would be that of professor and student–nothing more. Their only interaction would be in the classroom or on campus. She had to be practical and mature about the whole thing even though her heart was aching.

She closed her eyes in despair. What was the use? She was madly in love with him and couldn’t imagine falling out of love with him. The tears fell afresh and getting up from the dining-table, she rushed out of the room and headed upstairs to her bedroom where she remained for the rest of the night.

Deandre sat there on the floor of his bedroom, his head spinning. He still couldn’t believe that Kalisa was there in Jacksonville. She was a student at his university. Today for the first time since the new school year began, they saw and spoke to each other. At first, he thought he was imagining things but then she approached him. He was shocked to see her but when he recovered, he longed to touch her beautiful face.

They spoke to each other as if they were strangers. Offering to give her a ride home was just an excuse to be with her. It was tough telling her about Davika but he had to. He could still remember the startled and pained look on Kalisa’s face. She was right about Davika being the reason why he hadn’t kept in touch with her even though he had wanted to very badly. He felt like a complete jerk getting involved with Kalisa when he was already in a relationship.

What was he going to do now? Her being there in Jacksonville and at the university complicated things. How could he see her and not long to be with her? How would he be able to stay away from her? Fortunately, she wasn’t in any of his classes but, they were sure to run into each other again on campus. When she got out of his car that afternoon when he dropped her home, he fought the temptation to go after her. Instead, he drove away.

He headed straight here to his apartment, stripped, took a long shower. Then, he quickly dried his skin and came into the bedroom. He put on a brief and then, instead of putting on clothes, he sank down on the floor, still reeling from the shock of seeing Kalisa on campus. Seeing her had really thrown him for a loop. He never thought he would ever see her again although the idea had occurred to him to return to Kigali again just to see her but then, what about Davika? What excuse would he give her for going Rwanda again? And what if she wanted to go with him?

The reality was that Kalisa wasn’t in Kigali but right there in Jacksonville. Why? Was it because of him? Was she hoping that they would resume their romance? Maybe now that she knew that he had a girlfriend, she would abandon such ideas and move on with her life. She was young and beautiful. There were plenty of guys who would love to date her.

He closed his eyes. The thought of her going out on dates made him painfully jealous. What on earth was he going to do?