A Painful Decision

He had to do it. It pained him to even think about it but he couldn’t continue living a lie. He was madly in love with Jabulani and he wanted to be with her.

Avianna was going to be heartbroken, devastated and he wished he could spare her from all that but it was unavoidable. He couldn’t remain married to her. He hated cheating on her but he couldn’t help himself.

This evening, he was going to tell her about his relationship with Jabulani and ask for a divorce. How he wished with all his heart that he had met Jabulani first and then, he wouldn’t have to hut Avianna. His heart was heavy and his steps dogged as he walked to his car.

That evening after dinner, he and Avianna went into the living-room. She looked at him and dread filled her when she saw the grim expression on his face. “What’s the matter, Max?” she asked warily.

“You’d better have a seat,” he said.

“No. I’d rather stand. What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t quite know how to tell you this, Avianna.”

“Just tell me.” Her heart was pounding now and fear permeated her body.

He took a deep breath and then, he told her about his affair with Jabulani, how it began in the night he took her to the costume ball in Johannesburg. He told her about them meeting twice a week and driving to that same hotel in Soweto. He told her about the flat in London which he had rented for Jabulani and how he had been visiting her there until he had been asked not to spend so much time with her. When, he was finished, he watched Avianna whose face was ashen. “Avianna, are you all right?”

Her legs gave way beneath her and she sank to the ground. “No, I’m not all right,” she cried in a trembling voice. “You just told me that you’ve been cheating on me with the girl you sponsored through my organization. That your affair began in Soweto and is continuing here in London. How could you, Max?”

“I’m sorry, Avianna. I didn’t plan on having an affair with her–“

“But, you did. Isn’t that why you sponsored her and encouraged her to come here to London to study when she could have stayed in Johannesburg and studied at the university there?”

“Yes,” he admitted. “I wanted her to come to London because you and I were moving back here.”

“Are you in love with her, Max?”

“Avianna–“

“Are you in love with this girl?”

“Yes, I am.”

Avianna’s breath caught in her throat and the tears ran down her cheeks. She brushed them away. “And you want to be with her.”

“Yes.” It was no use denying it.

“So, you want a divorce?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“All right, Max. I will give you your divorce so that you can be with your paramour.”

“Avianna, I can’t tell you how sorry I am about this–“

“It explains why things haven’t been the same between us in the bedroom for a while, why you haven’t touched me in a long time. You were with her, making love to her when you should have been making love to me, your wife.” She rose angrily to her feet and almost bolted from the room.

Max watched her go and then, he sank down on the sofa and buried his face in his hands. In the morning, he moved out of the house and went to stay with his friend, Karl.

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