Pining, Abstaining & Longing

What was Dushan doing at that moment? Was he out somewhere? Was he in his flat? Was he alone? Was she there with him? Were they in bed together? Ruth closed her eyes in despair. It was sheer torture sitting there, imagining all sorts of things. How she longed to go over to his flat and beg him to resume their relationship.

For weeks she had tried calling him but, each time she kept getting his voicemail after hearing his phone ring only once. That night after dinner, she went into the conservatory and tried calling him again This time, she was informed that the recipient wasn’t available and was diverted to voicemail. The following day, she asked a colleague, “How do you know if someone has blocked your number?”

“If you hear only one ring or no ring at all before your call goes to voicemail, this is a good indication you’re blocked. In this case, the person has used the number blocking feature on their phone. Sometimes you hear that the person isn’t available or their number is temporarily out of service.”

When the realization that Dushan had blocked her number hit her, she excused herself and hurried off to the bathroom where she broke down. He didn’t want anything more to do with her. That was why he had blocked her number. Oh, Dushan, how could you do this to me? Is it because of that wretched woman? You don’t belong to her. And I don’t belong to Gideon. You and I belong to each other and I swear I’m going to make you see that.

Dushan was lying in bed, thinking about earlier that night when Chioma and he kissed for the first time. After dinner, he and she were in the living-room talking about the view from her flat and then the conversation shifted to Adaeze and then, he took her in his arms and kissed her. It was something he had wanted to do for a very long time but only worked up the courage to do it then.

Things soon became heated when she put her arms around his waist and kissed him back. For several minutes, they exchanged passionate kisses then, he broke it off to press his lips urgently against the side of her neck, eliciting moans from her which turned him on even more. He drew back and was about to unbutton his shirt when she said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”

It felt like someone had emptied a bucket of cold water on him. He stared at her, his face flushed and his breath harsh and unsteady. “Is it because of my past?” he asked. He feared that his past would always be an issue for them.

“No. This has nothing to do with your past. I meant it when I said that I wouldn’t hold it against you.”

“Then, what is this about?”

“I know this may sound foolish and old fashioned but I want to wait until I’m married before I have sex.”

“So, you’re a virgin.”



“I’m sorry, Dushan. I should have told you this before. Now that you know do you still want us to continue to see each other?”

“Of course. Do you think that all I want from you is sex?”

“Most men lose interest when a woman tells them what I’ve told you.”

“I’m not most men, Chioma.”

“I’m sorry, Dushan.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I respect that you want to wait until marriage.”

“Thank you.”

“It’s not going to be easy, though.  Right now, I want you so much.”

“I want you too, but…”

“I know.”  He ran his fingers through his hair.  His jeans felt tight and uncomfortable because he was hard.  “Want to go for a walk around the block?”


They went for a walk and then they returned to her flat.  Outside of her door, they kissed for several minutes and then, he drew back, his expression tense as he looked down into her upturned face.  “Goodnight, Chioma.”

“Goodnight, Dushan.”

He walked briskly to the bank of elevators and thankfully, one came immediately.  After pressing the button, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.  His body was throbbing with desire but it was true what he had told her.  Sex wasn’t all he wanted.  He wanted much more.

When he got home, he took a quick shower and watched some television.  It was after eleven when he turned off the light and headed to the bedroom.  After brushing his teeth, he removed his robe and climbed naked into the bed.  It was nice and toasty in the room so he didn’t bother to pull the covers over him.

And here he was lying in the bed, unable to sleep.  As he lay there, he thought about his first kiss with Chioma.  He closed his eyes as he remembered how she put her arms around his waist as they exchanged passionate kisses and how she had moaned when he had kissed her on her exquisite neck.

Desire like a raging fire consumed him now and his hand traveled down his stomach to his erection.  His fingers closed around the shaft and he imagined kissing Chioma.  Intense pleasure filled him as he relieved himself. Moments later, he cried out her name as he convulsed.  He lay there for several minutes trying to catch his breath and then, he got up and went to take another quick shower. This time, he was able to fall asleep.

Source: Lifewire

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