Slavery and Grooming

“What’s on your mind?” Mats asked Abi. She looked like she was thinking about something.

Downtrodden doozies and winded waxers.”

“I’m sure you’re going to explain what you mean.”

“Downtrodden doozies are people who are mistreated because they are thought to be troublesome, difficult or problematic. When slaves rebelled against their masters, they were seen as troublesome property. They weren’t even seen as people but property to be exploited.”

“And they branded them like they were cattle although they treated their animals better than them.”

“Yes. It makes my blood boil every time I think about it.”

“Slavery is of man, not of God. Those slaves who were treated worse than animals were created in His image too.”

“Yes, they were. I read that the males were killed because they were troublesome and more likely to flee.”

“I often wonder how those slave owners and their families would have liked it if they were sold into slavery?”

“People rarely put themselves in others’ shoes and those slave owners and their families believed that blacks were meant to be slaves. They even used the Bible to justify slavery.”

“You’re right. They wouldn’t bother to imagine how what they were doing was inhumane. Slavery was a very profitable business for them. The slave economy contributed to American prosperity. Many got wealthy from slave labor and that’s why the belief that all men were created equal was ignored or pushed aside. Even though there was a split over the moral question of human bondage and man’s inhumanity to man, they all seemed to agree that slavery was an economic necessity.”

“That was their pathetic excuse to continue their nefarious and inhumane exploitations on a race whom they considered to be inferior to themselves.”

“Yes. Slavery was an evil institution. It had to be abolished even if it meant a civil war.”

“God delivered the people of Israel through Moses and He delivered the African slaves through war.”

“Yes. Now, that you’ve explained what downtrodden doozies are, what about winded waxers?”

“Winded waxers are men who are metrosexual men who like who like to go on and on about how other men get jealous because their girlfriends are giving them the eye because of his looks. Yesterday, I bumped into one of them and had to listen to his long winded account of how he was at a bar and how most of the women, even those who were with their husbands or boyfriends couldn’t take their eyes off him.”

“Metrosexual? What on earth is that?”

“A Metrosexual is the blending of metropolitan and heterosexual describing a man who is especially meticulous about his grooming and appearance. He typically spends a significant amount of time and money on shopping. Other men make fun of them and call them waxers because they are so into personal grooming that he has his eyebrows waxed.”

“Why would any man wax his eyebrows?” Mats asked, horrified at the mere thought.

“I have no idea but some men do. Maybe they want to look better than their girlfriends and wives. Who knows. I’ve met a few and I can’t stand them. They are narcissists. Famous metrosexuals include David Beckham, Lenny Kravitz and Cristiano Ronaldo. Apparently, Ronaldo is the single biggest metrosexual in the history of sports.”

“Him, I can understand and maybe, Lenny Kravitz, but Beckham?”

“He’s married to Posh Spice.”

Mats shook his head. “That’s no excuse.”

“These guys are known for dating the most beautiful women in the world.”

“Tell me about this metrosexual guy you bumped into.”

“He’s a guy I used to date when we were at Cambridge.”

“You dated a metrosexual?”

“Of course not! He wasn’t anything like he is now. I blame on his being a TV News anchor on BBC.”

“Which News anchor is he?”

She told him.

“You dated him? He looks like a Ken doll.”

“Trust me, he didn’t look anything like that when we were dating. He was clean cut, yes, but not a pretty boy and he was a nice guy.”

“So, what happened?”

“I broke up with him.”

“Why did you break up with Mr. Nice guy?”

“I caught him kissing a girl from his Chemistry class.”

“Hmm. It sounds like Mr. Nice guy turned out to be a jerk.”

“He was mortified and tried to explain but I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. We never saw each other after graduation and the next time I saw him, it was when I tuned into the 11’o clock news one night. I almost choked on my hot chocolate.”

“So, what else did you and he talk about?”

“After his long-winded account of the incident at the bar, he mentioned that he’s engaged to be married and showed me a photo of his fiancée. I recognized her because she used to be a Victoria Secret model.”

Mats rolled his eyes. “It figures.”

“Well, as I mentioned metrosexual men are known for dating very beautiful women.”

“Did you talk about anything else?”

“Well, I told him about you and showed him your photo. He wished me all the best and after I congratulated him on his upcoming nuptials, we said goodbye and parted company.”

“If you hadn’t caught him cheating on you, would you and he still be together?”

“I don’t think so. Besides, I can’t see myself dating a metrosexual guy.”

He got up and walked over to her and pulling her to her feet, he took her in his arms. “I can’t see myself with anyone else, Abi. You’re it for me.”

She smiled and put her arms around his waist, pressing against him. “Ditto,” she replied before they kissed.

Sources: Urban Dictionary; Study Moose Free Essays; Britannica; TIME; History; Urban Dictionary; Bleacher Report

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