“I don’t understand why some women do it.”

“Do what?”

“Cheat on their husbands.”

“I can give you five reasons why a woman cheats. She feels underappreciated, neglected, or ignored. She craves intimacy. She is bored and/or lonely.  She never feels fully loved and appreciated.  She has an intimacy disorder because of some early childhood trauma and/or sexual abuse.”

“I think people who cheat are selfish. They don’t care about how their actions will affect their spouse and their children. All they care about is pleasing themselves. Honestly, some people should never get married. And unmarried people who have affairs with married people have no scruples.”

“Aunt Chris, it’s not that simple to project one’s moral judgment on others. One must always put themselves in that person’s shoes before having an opinion. You don’t know what you would do if you felt neglected, unloved or lonely. Women don’t cheat because they want to. They don’t do it to hurt their husbands or their children. Remember what the Jesus said about casting the first stone when that woman was caught in adultery.”

“Yes, but Jesus told that same woman to go her way and to stop sinning.”

“I recently read a post written by a relationship expert. In the article, she asked women two question. The first was what type of man they would marry? She divided them into two categories–Courtesies and charisma. Men who were courteous, respectful and indulgent fell into the first category and the men who were charming, self-confident and passionate. The other question was for married women. Which of these two types of men would they cheat on their husbands with? Most women chose the courteous man to marry and the charismatic man for the affair.”

“I can’t believe that you waste your time reading such rubbish.”

“I found the article extremely enlightening. I’m not married but if I were to get married it would be to a man who falls under the Courtesies category.”

“Your uncle Donald falls under both.”

“Would you ever cheat on him?”


“Not even if he cheated on you?”

“Your uncle would never cheat on me.”

“Do you love him?”

“Of course I love him! What kind of a question is that?”

“I’m sorry, Aunt Chris. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Your uncle and I love each other very much.”

“Why don’t we change the subject?”

“Good idea.”

“You mentioned the other day that you have been having wisdom teeth woes.”

“Yes. I had an impacted wisdom tooth and my dentist recommended that I remove all of them.”

“I had three. The one at the top kept growing. Eventually, I had them all removed even though they weren’t causing me any problems. It will be fine. I didn’t feel a thing but my dentist prescribed Advil for the pain.”

“Well, I have to run. Thanks for the coffee, Rachel.”

“You’re welcome, Aunt Chris. Sorry again for my question about Uncle Donald.”

“All is forgiven.”

“Please give him, Peter and Lindsey my love.”

“I will.”

Have a good weekend.”

“Thanks, Honey. You too.”


“Mike, I can’t continue to see you.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to be selfish anymore.”

“Selfish? What do you mean?”

“People who cheat are selfish. They only care about what they want and will make sure they get it even if it hurts others and destroy lives. I can’t do this any more. It’s wrong.”

“Who have you been talking to?”

“It doesn’t matter. My eyes are open now. I see this for what it really is. A sordid mess which I want to get out of. I love you, Mike but I love God more. This afternoon, He spoke to my heart through someone’s words and life. I want the kind of life she has with her husband and I know I will never have it with you. I’m going to walk away from this affair with the little self-respect I have left.”

“So, this is goodbye.”

“Yes, it is. I wish you all the best. I hope that you will go home to your wife and work on your marriage. Don’t throw it all away.”

“But, I’m not in love with her any more. If I did, I wouldn’t have been having an affair with you.”

“Then do the decent thing and divorce her. It’s better than staying married and being unfaithful.”

“I’m a Catholic. I don’t believe in divorce.”

“Go for marriage counseling then.”

“Are you sure you won’t change your mind about us? You know you’re walking away from a good thing.”

“No, I won’t change my mind. And I know that I’m walking away from sin and to God’s salvation. I pray that you will do the same. Goodbye, Mike.” She kissed him on the forehead before she turned and walked out of his life for good.

Posted for August 2020 Writing Prompts – #25 – Courtesies and charisma

Sources: Huff Post; Colgate;

10 Replies to “Selfish”

    1. Yes, there are some people who don’t have a problem cheating but if they were to put themselves in the shoes of the person who is being cheated on, they might feel differently. You’re right, while we must never justify cheating, we don’t know what the other person is going through and rather than judging them, we can try to help them.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly that, it’s about putting the feelings of the other person above our own selfish wants and desires. If the person cheating needs help, then it’s best to try to assist where possible and work on bettering the relationship.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes, Hannah. It’s about putting others first. And reaching out to those who need help. It’s possible that the cheater in this story was put off by her friend’s attitude although she did take to heart what she said and decided that she wasn’t going to be in adulterous relationship anymore. We need to be that kind of person whom someone can talk to without fear of being judged.

        Liked by 1 person

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