I’m a young, married Christian woman living with a secret. My husband spanks me. He says that it’s in line with what the Bible says which is that a wife should submit to her husband. I never understood how submission meant getting spanked like I was a child. While the Bible does mention disciplining a child, which could include spanking, it doesn’t say anything about disciplining a wife. The apostle Paul would be appalled to see how his words have been misconstrued by so many Christian husbands and wives.
I feel so ashamed about the spanking but who could I talk to about it? It’s not like I feel I’m being physically abused. I don’t feel that way at all. My husband loves me and we have a great marriage—no kids as yet. When he spanks me, I know he isn’t doing it to hurt me or out of anger or anything like that. He truly believes that what he’s doing is for the good of our marriage.
I don’t like getting spanked. I feel that it’s wrong and I want him to stop. I have tried to talk him out of doing it but he reminded me that we had both agreed to practice this lifestyle. We even signed a contract. Foolishly, I went along with it because I didn’t think that I would ever do anything to get spanked. I was wrong.
The first time he spanked me was after we returned from one of our annual vacation trips. He said that it was because I seemed too friendly with the guy at the front desk when we were checking out of the hotel. He didn’t say anything to me to the airport, when we were on the plane or on our way to our ocean view condo. I sensed that something was wrong but couldn’t tell what it was.
Then, when we were getting ready to bed, he told me that he was going to spank me and why. I protested and that only increased the number of taps I was going to get. He had me pull up my nightie, pull down my underwear and lie across his knees. He used my hairbrush. The taps were heavy and brought tears to my eyes. When he was done, I got off him, pulled up my underwear and went into the bathroom. I washed my tear-streaked face and dried it in my towel.
He was lying naked in the bed. “Come and make love to your husband.”
My bottom was sore and I wasn’t in the mood for sex but it was either that or more spanking. So, I undressed and went over to the bed. I straddled him and began to move. He lay there, watching me and gripping my thighs. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at him. I heard him moaning. I just wanted it to be over.
Finally, I heard him cry out and then convulse against me. Relieved, I got off him and lay with my back turned towards him. I hugged the pillow tightly. I felt him move behind me and then, the room was plunged into darkness.
He kissed me on the shoulder. “Goodnight,” he said.
“Goodnight,” I mumbled. Minutes, later, I could tell that he was asleep. I lay there on my side with my eyes open for a long, long time.
The next morning when I woke up, he was gone. I got up and showered and got ready for work. At work, I tried not to think about last night.
After leaving work, I went to a church nearby where I spent a long time thinking about things and praying. On my way home on the train, I googled Domestic Discipline and read articles and stories. I couldn’t understand how some women actually craved being spanked. It seemed kind of sick to me but who am I to judge?
My spanking continued for a while because of different infractions I committed until finally, one day, after weeks of praying about it, I asked my husband for the contract. Without questioning my reason for asking for it, he gave it to me and right before his eyes, I tore it up and threw it in the fireplace. Aghast, he demanded, “Why did you do that?”
Calmly, I looked at him and said, “No more spanking. If I do something that you don’t like, we talk about it. I’m your wife, not your child. And you’re supposed to love me the way Jesus loves the church. The wife is instructed to submit to her husband but she should not spanked into submission. I love you, Vance but I would walk away from you and our marriage if I have to.”
He stared at me for a long time and then, he said, “I’m sorry. I thought domestic discipline was biblical but I guess I was wrong.”
I could see that he was cut up about it. I put my arms around his neck, my heart in my eyes when I met his contrite gaze. “Domestic discipline isn’t for us and it isn’t of God. Let’s just love and respect each other the way the Bible tells us to.”
Real stories of Domestic Discipline don’t end like this. Very rarely would the woman decide that she doesn’t want to be spanked any more and leave her husband. Many feel that they deserved to be spanked and that it’s for their good. And if there is a contract, they will abide by all the rules, terms, and conditions at all times, without exception.