Domestic Discipline

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What is Domestic Discipline? Is it a more politically correct term for “wife spanking”? Until recently, I didn’t know that this sort of lifestyle existed. I was shocked by the number of people who are practicing it, including Christians. One article described it as a movement in the Christian community. What is Domestic Discipline and why are so many couples engaging in it?

Domestic discipline is the practice between two consenting life partners in which the head of the household (HoH) takes the necessary measures to achieve a healthy relationship dynamic; the necessary measures to create a healthy home environment; and the necessary measures to protect all members of the family from dangerous or detrimental outcomes by punishing the contributing, and thus unwanted, behaviors for the greater good of the entire family. In addition to punishing the unwanted behaviors, the head of the household is responsible for reinforcing positive behaviors for the greater good of the entire family. The head of the household is ALWAYS to conduct themselves in a very safe, loving, healthy, controlled, and composed manner – Free Thought Blog.

Husband and wife Clint and Chelsea have defined Domestic Discipline as, “…an arrangement between two adults who share the belief that the husband is the head of the household and with that position comes the right to enforce his authority.” They see the husband exercising his authority when he disciplines his wife and this belief is shared by both. They have written Beginning Domestic Discipline, a 50 page packet and in it, they have stated that punishment isn’t exclusive to spanking. Other methods can be used such as lecturing, removing privileges, corner and bedroom time. These methods are what most parents use to discipline their children.

I read about a couple where the husband uses his hands for “warm-up” slaps. Then, he uses a combination of tools based on the specific infraction. The wooden spoon is the least severe; for the worst rule-breaking—like texting while driving. The wife says that it could killer her and (“It could kill me,” Chelsea admits) or moving money between accounts without his permission—she’ll be hit with something else: a hairbrush, a paddle, or a leather strap.

Then, depending on the infraction, he uses the tool that would best apply. Apparently, the wooden spoon is the lest severe of these tools. For worst infractions like texting while driving because as the wife admits that could kill her, or moving money between accounts without his permission she’s hit with a hairbrush, a paddle or a leather strap. She doesn’t see this as domestic abuse. “This is for Jesus,” she says.

Some believe that Christian Domestic Disipline (CDD) is used as a means to justify the fulfillment of a sexual fetish.  According to Paul Byerly, who with his wife, run The Marriage Bed, a site dedicated to sexuality and religion CDD is  a “distortion of what God intended” and believes that “women, particularly in the Christian church tend to be sexually repressed.” Domestic discipline, he explains, could be “a way around that”—a chance to explore sexual desires while still nominally acting in the name of Jesus.

Another woman in the same article, said, that abuse is all about intent. “He never punishes me when he’s angry,” she says of her partner. “He doesn’t yell. The worst thing I can do is disappoint him and I do that when I act on one of my character defects.” And what about his defects? “He’s not perfect but it’s not my role to point that out. He self corrects.” And what does he get out of their CDD lifestyle aside from her obedience? The satisfaction and enjoyment of seeing her, “the person he owns, his property, become the thing God wants her to be. It might sound weird, but that works for me.”

At what point does domestic discipline cross the line and become abuse? At what point does the husband go from exercising his power to abusing it?  At what point do women realize that submission to their husbands isn’t something they should be spanked into doing?  At what point are they honest with themselves and admit that this isn’t in harmony with God’s Word?

Very Well Mind gives the following comparison between abuse and domestic discipline: 

Signs of AbuseDomestic Discipline
May use physical violence as a control tactic

Isolates partner from family and friends

Displays a power imbalance in the relationship

Makes threats of physical violence to maintain control
Believes the abuse is justified or that the victim caused it

Engages in financial control

Denies abuse or violence happened and argues it was not as bad as victim claims
Uses spanking to maintain order and control

Sets rules about wife’s interactions with others

Provides all the power to the HoH

Threatens spanking if rules are not followed

Believes spanking is appropriate for mistakes or rule-breaking

Has control over all the finances

Denies that this lifestyle is abusive and argues that it is consensual and biblical

Even though there doesn’t seem to be much difference between abuse and domestic discipline, there are those who believe that women should be grateful when they are spanked. According to a blog supporting CDD, here are three reasons why a woman should be thankful:

  • Firstly, she should thank him simply because he has done something for her and it is appropriate that she show her gratitude. After all, she is the primary beneficiary of the spanking, meaning that she is the main person to benefit from the spanking. She will learn better behavior, she will become a better person as a result of it. So it makes sense that she should be grateful for it.
  • Secondly, she should thank him because she should practice politeness in her relationship with him. It may be that her disrespect for him is the original cause of her spanking, so it is all the more reason why she should behave politely to him afterwards.
  • Thirdly, she should thank him for her spanking because it is a demonstration that she has learned her lesson.

The blogger then goes explain why exactly the woman should be thankful to her husband, the head of the household (HOH), for spanking her:

  • He has helped her to overcome her negative behavior
  • He has taught her something she didn’t know before she was spanked.
  • He has given her the gift of learning, although the lesson she learned was painful. It’s better than leaning it outside the home. Getting spanked for careless driving or for being rude to her boss is better than vehicular homicide or a job loss.
  • She should thank her HOH for bringing her to tears if she has cried during or after the spanking. This is an achievement for him because through patience, commitment and determination, he succeeded in making her cry. When a woman cries when she is being spanked, it helps with the disciplinary process. Tears are an important part of her discipline. And part of being brought to tears is the emotional release it gives her. It’s a form of stress relief.
  • Spanking removes her guilt which could linger and remain indefinitely. For this reason, spanking is a gift.

Domestic Discipline is not seen as abuse but as an expression of the husband’s love for his wife. One CDD wife said, “When my husband whips me, I feel his love, his strength and his caring.” Another wife who is punished whenever she puts her health or safety at risk, said, “My husband says he loves me too much to lose me and [that] it is his job to protect me from things, even if he has to protect me from myself.” 

I read a comment about a pastor whose wife insulted another wife when they were guests in their home. First, she insulted the woman’s cooking and then her husband. Finally, the pastor had had enough. He asked to use the library. He and his wife went into the library and everyone heard her getting spanked, pleading for him to stop and promising to be a good girl. When it was over, the pastor returned alone and told the others that his wife wouldn’t be joining them for dinner. When the hostess, whom the pastor’s wife had insulted went to check on her, she found her standing in a corner, completely naked and with a behind which looked like it was in really bad shape. She cried when the hostess went in but didn’t move or say anything.

Is it discipline to have your wife standing there in the corner, naked? If you spank your child, do you have him or her stand naked in the corner after a spanking? In spite of what the pastor’s wife had done, shouldn’t he have still shown her some respect? His treatment of her was abusive and degrading. And what I found shocking was that the hostess didn’t think that the woman very grateful for the beating she got but concluded that it had apparently changed her because after that incident, she was a different person.

There are faith leaders who are against CDD. Here is what Faith Trust Institute had to say on their website:

As faith leaders concerned with issues of violence and abuse, we stand against belief systems that use religious language and misuse religious texts in order to justify harmful behavior. Christian Domestic Disciple (CDD) is an example of one of these belief systems and we believe that these kinds of behaviors have no place in Christian marriages, or in any intimate relationship.

We support healthy and equitable relationships that practice informed consent, demonstrate mutual respect, and allow each person to exercise and be supported in their autonomy. The dynamic created by the CDD “lifestyle” is one of power and control where the husband acts as “Head of Household” and exercises total control and authority over the wife’s daily activities and decisions, enforcing strict “rules” that, if broken, result in corporeal punishment. In order to maintain control, the husband claims the rights to take away certain “privileges” such as the ability to see friends, use the internet, or watch television. In comparing these behaviors to those often associated with domestic violence, it is difficult to distinguish one from the other.

Every individual deserves respect in their relationships and the ability to live without fear and coercion in their home, community, and place of worship. We urge faith leaders, advocates, and community leaders and members to stand against violence in all its forms, especially when it is masked by religious language or cultural norms.

On another blog, CDD is defined as being “founded on the same principles as other traditional Christian marriages. The man is the head of the household and the woman submits to him in every way. But what is the husband supposed to do when his wife challenges his authority? That’s where traditional marriages fail. Women are naturally inclined to be defiant; it was Eve’s unwillingness to obey God that got her and Adam exiled from Eden. That’s bad enough, but add in the fact that our feminist society encourages women to be rebellious, and you have a disaster in the making. How does the husband remind his wife who’s in charge? Christian Domestic Discipline provides the answer to quieting disobedient wives. CDD empowers the husband (also called the Head of Household or HoH) to enforce his authority over his wife in whatever way he sees fit.”

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Like most supporters of CDD, this blogger used Ephesians 5:22-24 to support it. However what about verses 25-29 where husbands are called to love their wives as themselves? Paul doesn’t encourage them to spank their wives when they don’t submit. The submission of wives to their husbands is equated to their submission to Christ. And the husbands’ love for their wives is equated to Christ’s love for the church which is a self-sacrificing love.  Would Christ approve of DD? Absolutely not! Nor would Paul.

A clear understanding of Paul’s message would conclude that, “A husband is to follow this example, loving his wife, teaching and reasoning with his wife from the Scriptures, and nourishing and cherishing her as Christ does the Church, even to the point of giving himself up for her. Ephesians 5:28–29 goes on to say that husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. Unless a husband regularly inflicts corporal punishment on himself, there is no reason to use this passage to justify inflicting it upon his wife. If a wife is truly being rebellious against her husband, then biblical counseling is the next step, following the model of church discipline, as outlined in Matthew 18:15–20

Domestic discipline is at best a strange, unbiblical practice and, at worst, an excuse for abuse. If couples mutually agree to engage in this type of behavior, they are certainly entitled to do so. But to use the Bible to justify it and call it part of the Christian life is not only ridiculous and scripturally unsupportable; it is antithetical to all biblical principles of love and mutual submission out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21)” – Got Answers

In all of my research on the topic, I couldn’t find posts or articles of women who were opposed to DD, except one woman, named Michelle. On a popular CDD blog, she wrote that, “I wanted the spankings to stop and my husband told me it was either DD and marriage or divorce. I chose divorce. I couldn’t handle the pain of spankings anymore, emotionally or physically.” What happened with this being consensual? Michelle was given an ultimatum. Either she continued to receive the spankings or leave. She chose to leave.

Are there women practicing this lifestyle who secretly want the spankings to stop but are afraid to speak up? Are women choosing to stay and suffer in silence to avoid the stigma of a broken marriage? In the Bible marriage is defined as a man and wife becoming one flesh. After the Fall, man became the head of the woman but he is called to love her as himself and to treat her as he would himself. Marriage is a partnership. Authority is to be exercised in love not in tyranny.

I personally believe that while parents have the God given authority to discipline their children, it is God and God alone who should have and exercise the authority to discipline husbands and wives. We know that He would never do anything contrary to His Word and all that He does if out of love and for our good.

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:5-11, NIV).

Sources: Domestic Discipline Online; Daily Mail; The Daily Beast; Aeon; The Daily Mail; Very Well Mind

57 thoughts on “Domestic Discipline

  1. You’re missing the most important aspect of a domestic discipline relationship. It’s a consensual fetish. The responses you got back regarding your questions is playing into those fetishes. That is kind of the point of it. Trust me, if a legitimate man is in a dd relationship, he spent a lot of time looking for a consensual partner. It’s not easy to find but makes sense that it’s more prevalent in the religious world.


    • Thanks for your comment, Mick. Based on my research it is consensual but that doesn’t mean that there might not be some women who may have initially consented to the fetish but regret or don’t want to be a part of it anymore. Yes, it’s prevalent among Christians but that doesn’t make it any more acceptable.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Just because someone is misguided and foolish enough to submit to husband’s abuse does not mean it is right, and that he will not answer to God for it, and be appropriately dealt with by God. It is wrong, it is cowardly, and it is sexual perversion. These men are sexually perverse; strange, and probably cannot even enjoy sex without doing something strange like this.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. I think that a true Christian who follows Christ’s teachings would not practice DD. What about Do unto others….? I think DD is so close to spousal abuse that hardly any distinction can be made. It is merely BDSM in a Christian setting but without a safe word. Who made these men paragons of virtue, who spanks them when they screw up? Any woman who has been brought up to believe women are inferior and brought sin into the world would have a hard time saying NO to this practice. To the men I would say that Adam could have refused to eat the fruit, I am sure God would have provided him with another wife. The stories in Genesis came from a very patriarchal source and I do not believe they are to be taken literally.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks for your comment, Lana. I agree with you that Adam didn’t have to eat the fruit and God would have provided him with another wife. God’s words to him were, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife,” before He told Adam what the consequences of his disobedience were. I have read stories and DD is not different from spousal abuse, the only difference is that the women are going along with it. They believe that they deserve to be spanked when they displease their husbands. This is so contrary to the marriage God instituted and sanctioned. Marriage is a partnership with mutual love and respect. The stories in Genesis reflect the culture of that time and sadly, instead of learning from them, people use them to legitimize practices which are contrary to the teachings of Christ. As you rightly, said not Christian who follows the teachings of Christ would practice DD and BDSM. Marriage between a husband and wife are likened to the marriage of Christ and His church. The couples who practice DD and BDSM ought to remember that.


    • When you say, “It is merely BDSM in a Christian setting” you probably nailed it. Opinions are opinions; however, you aren’t wrong in a lot of your comment, until you get to the end. Scripture is ordained by God. It is only from a “patriarchal source” if you consider God to be patriarchal. Further, we are not the ones to decide that the Bible is not to be taken literally. While sometimes uncomfortable (e.g., I have a hard time believing that we are all descended from Adam and Eve, but tough; I have to accept it) if you believe the scripture, then you accept every word of it. Thus, saying, “The stories in Genesis came from a very patriarchal source and I do not believe they are to be taken literally” really runs against being a Christian.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I agree with you. If you believe that the Bible is the Word of God, you should accept that what it says is true. Jesus showed how important scripture is. God could create an entire world from just two people because He is God and nothing is impossible for Him. The stories in Genesis and elsewhere are to be accepted as God’s Truth. They are there to teach us. The stories are about real people who made mistakes but from whom we can learn.


  3. These men feel powerless and use their wives as a means to achieve this sense of false power. The Bible in no way, shape, or form indicates that a husband is to discipline/spank his wife.

    A lot of this has to do with these men’s feeling of inadequacy and the power they feel when treating their wife like a child.

    In addition, I agree, there is absolutely a sexual component to it. For some men, sex is a violent affair, and this is a slick way to use God’s name to commit evil.

    This is a way to weld ungodly, unauthorized “power” over their wife, while experiencing desired effects of sexual fantasy.

    They are weak males, and religious cowards who don’t know or fear God, but they will answer to him for FALSELY representing Him by not loving their wives as Christ loved the Church and GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR THE CHURCH.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Domestic discipline benefits my marriage it saves me from divorce
    spanking is the best method to teach me submission
    But of course I know it’s different for every person

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, it is different for every person. Not many people will agree that domestic discipline is a good thing. They may say that a wife shouldn’t have to be spanked to submit to her husband. Wives are encouraged to submit themselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord and husbands are told to love their wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. The Lord disciplines (chastens) us and parents discipline their children. Husbands love (not discipline) their wives and wives submit to their husbands.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I am relieved to see others calling CDD what it is: abuse.
    The way one blogger and his followers talk about women is shameful. One commenter bragged about beating his daughter on her wedding day so she would accept the same treatment from her husband. They treat their wives (and in some cases female children) like property.
    What is as equally concerning is the way some women think they deserve the abuse and have convinced themselves that their husbands beat them because they love them. I don’t understand it at all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for your comment, Beverly. I totally agree with you. It’s sad when women begin to equate abuse with love. Love doesn’t hurt. The Bible teaches that love is kind, patient and isn’t selfish. It thinks about others, not itself and what it wants. It doesn’t make sense when a woman thinks that unless her husband beats her, he doesn’t love her. It makes no sense at all. I can’t believe a father would beat his daughter at any time, especially on her wedding day and say that she should accept the same thing from her husband. He should have been charged and arrested for assault. Discipline is for children not women. There is a vast difference between discipline and abuse. CDD is and should be treated as abuse.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Beverly, I spoke offline with the blog author about this first (then my laptop died and had to create a new email account). I know of the commentor you speak about. He also talks about still spanking his wife weekly after 50 years of marriage, and he or his son check’s his wife’s hair in her private areas every week to make sure she is properly shaved, she has an early bedtime, and it goes on and on. Another talked about having his wife stand on a pad during spanking and corner time because she is so bladder incontinent she leaks badly after a spanking. Another talks of spanking a pregnant wife. Another used a cane on his wife for forgetting to buy a smoke detector. I want to say, are you hearing yourselves? I don’t know about you, but we needed a new smoke detector, my husband went on amazon, ordered it in 2 seconds, and it was here the following day. Anyway, truly terrible stuff.

      Sadly, I learned about CDD from a woman who had the courage to leave her home (they are not divorced but separated). Her spankings on her bottom and upper thighs became much more painful later in life. She talked to her husband about it for a couple years and he thought she was just trying to get out of spankings. To make a long story short, she ended up with nerve damage to her legs (all due to a prior undiagnosed medical condition that the spankings made worse), walks with a cane, is on powerful pain meds and needs weekly physical therapy. Her husband is now so remorseful is trying to reconcile and says he will never touch her again and take care of her every need, but she just cannot do it, at least not yet. She is trying hard to pray and forgive him, bless her. Her only silver lining she told me is her son has stopped using DD in his marriage, due to how mortified he is about what has happened to his mom. While this might represent an extreme case, it is said in many of the CDD forums that “millions” practice this around the world, and true harm is rare. I am sorry to say, but it is impossible to know if millions practice this, if true harm is rare. We do not have that data.

      I do understand that many women ask for discipline in their marriage. While I do not understand this, if they are giving initial and ACTIVE, ONGOING consent, I should not judge how they live. This new friend said however, in Christian DD, once consent is given (either before marriage or during the marriage) it cannot be revoked. That is why her husband did not stop spanking her. She told me that in DD that does not involve religion, initial and ongoing consent is much more present. Couples review the lifestyle every so often to make sure it is still working for them, to make sure the woman still wants discipline in the marriage. In these cases consent can be revoked.

      Even if the bible does not explicitly prevent wife disciplining, there are millions of us in good marriages who know it can be done without it. We know our husbands love us and cherish us, and we love and cherish them. We give glory to God in all that we do together as a couple and as a family. We have raised children to become productive members of society.

      Thanks for reading this. I may have more to say about this in the future. Blessings to all.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hi Lola,

        Thank you so much for your comment and for raising awareness about something that should not be a part of any marriage, Christian or non-Christian.

        I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.



  6. This is real silliness, and tries to make a doctrine out of personal opinion. The Bible nowhere prohibits spanking a wife, or anyone else. Spanking is loving, and is within the domain of biblical authority. It has been helpful in countless marriages for thousands of years. A husband does not need to tolerate bad behavior by his wife, but has a right to punish her.


    • Nowhere in the Bible does it condone or approve of a husband spanking his wife. Would a man spank himself? The Bible says that a husband should love his wife as himself. So, if he loved her the way Christ loves the church, there would be no spanking. God is the One who has the right to chastise us when we do wrong. Spanking a child is mentioned in the Bible and it’s for that child’s good but nowhere is there any mention of a man spanking his wife. There is no biblical authority for domestic discipline. The husband does not have a right to spank his wife for any reason. She is an adult, not a child. Treat her as an adult.


      • You really are proving my point here. And I suggest you read my fuller comment below. Nowhere does the Bible condone of giving your children a bedtime. Nowhere does it say that employers may keep their employees on camera. Nowhere does it say Christians can have blogs. The Bible doesn’t give every detail of our life, of course, so we make godly applications of its principles ourselves.

        The burden of proof is on false accusers such as yourself to show WHERE the Bible actually teaches that spanking your wife is wrong. It never does! That’s why neither you nor anyone else can provide the passages from Scripture. They don’t exist. Spanking a wife is within the bounds of biblical headship, which is simply authority, and along with it the right to discipline those under authority.

        You WILL find where the Bible explicitly teaches not to add to its Word. You WILL find where the Bible explicitly condemns making doctrines out of your own traditions. Yet that is what YOU and other Christians do, but accusing men who spank their wives of being unChristian. You take your opinions and make them into doctrines.

        No one has to be a child to be spanked. That’s silly. Corporal punishment has been used for thousands of years on both adults and children. It is very helpful in managing wives, and helps them greatly with their attitude and behavior. It brings marital peace. I’ve seen it work many times, as have many couples whom I’ve interacted with. Stop falsely accusing your Christian brother.

        No. If a husband loved his wife as Christ loved the Church, He would chastise her, just as Christi chastises His Bride. Did you not read the entire Bible? Both God in the OT and Christ in the NT chastise the one He loves. Therefore, spanking and love go together. Are all parents who spank their children unloving? Are employers who fire their employees unloving? Are governments who punish criminals unloving? That’s a very foolish argument. Love and chastisement go together.

        Corporal punishment is endorsed, and even mandated multiple times in Holy Scripture. You know that is true. That means it is a just and loving punishment. The fact it’s not mandated specifically for wives is irrelevant. No one claims it is mandated, but only that it falls under the domain of headship, which a man rightly has. He may use it as he sees fit.

        You cannot and will not provide a passage in Scripture that prohibits spanking a wife, because none exist So you ought to stop accusing others of not being Christian or loving. You are the one being unChristian.



      • Do you mind if I ask you a question? Do wives spank their husbands too? I don’t believe that a wife should spank her husband either. When I mentioned parents spanking their children, I didn’t say that they were being unloving. I said that they were doing it for the child’s good. Can’t a husband lovingly chastise his wife without spanking her? Spanking shouldn’t fall under the domain of headship. I don’t believe that a man should strike his wife even if it is done out of love. Perhaps, there is no passage in Scripture which prohibits wife spanking because it wasn’t practiced at the time. I don’t put my faith and trust in traditions or man-made doctrines but only in the unerring Word of God. I don’t have any right to judge you or anyone else who believes in CDD but, I personally don’t think that it should be a part of marriage.


      • Hello, Thank you for your reply. I don’t see a reply button on your latest comment, so I’m replying at your previous one.

        Firstly, wives do not spank their husbands, because wives are not the authority. They are under their husband’s authority. He has the right to discipline her just as any other authority uses discipline.

        The many Christians who accept that parents may spank their children, and do not cease to be loving parents in doing so, need to also accept that a man who spanks his wife does not cease to be loving. That is my point. Moreover, it is also that spanking has never been limited to children historically, or in the Bible.

        A husband can choose to chastise his wife by another method if he wants, but he can also use spanking if he wants. Many find spanking to be much more useful than other methods, and that’s why they choose it, although they often use it alongside other forms of correction.

        You may not personally think that spanking falls under the man’s headship, but you don’t have a right to judge other Christians based on that personal opinion. Discipline clearly falls under the domain of headship — as we all should agree — and spanking is merely one form of discipline. Since you cannot show that spanking is in itself wrong, then it is a legitimate form of discipline under the domain of a husband’s authority.

        I am happy that you recognize you cannot judge another Christian based on your opinion about spanking. Since that is the case, you should cease saying we are not being very Christian, or very loving, or are abusers. These are false claims, and judge us wrongly. We are Christian and loving, and we do not practice abuse.


      • Spanking is not wrong when applied to children but a wife being spanked and then having to stand in the corner, facing the wall, that just seems wrong. She is being treated like a child not as her husband’s help meet. Like it or not, many people see domestic discipline as a form of abuse.


      • You are stating your opinion. There’s a difference between not liking the idea, and claiming that it is unloving, or abusive. It is purely arbitrary to say it’s alright to spank a child but not alright to spank an adult, especially since the Bible itself applies corporal punishment to adults, and many cultures in history have done the same.

        I am aware that many people claim wife spanking is abuse, but that is a wrong belief, and is purely arbitrary, considering the exact same people support spanking in other instances, and also support much harsher punishments than that. It is pure hypocrisy then to condemn wife spanking. It is a loving punishment, when done justly and with self control.


      • The Bible supports the spanking of a child, that’s why I don’t have a problem with it. Since, it’s silent on wife spanking, I can’t support that. Do you think it’s loving for a man to have his wife stand in the corner with her nose touching the wall with her hands on her head while she’s in pain? She’s forbidden to rub her behind and if she does, she receives more spanking. How is that loving? From what I have read about Domestic Discipline, there is no partnership in the marriage there but the relationship is that of a master and a subordinate. It resembles a plantation type set up. That’s not God’s idea of a marriage.


      • Hello, If the Bible supports corporal punishment for children, servants, and civil offenders, you can be sure that spanking in and of itself is not an unloving act or a sinful one. If that’s the case, you ought to cease treating it as unloving if a husband spanks his wife. You may not personally support that, but the claim it’s unloving or abusive is wrong.

        The Bible does not specifically endorse giving your children a bedtime, or sending them to their room. By your logic then, you cannot support that behavior. You see, we can’t assume something is wrong because it is not specifically taught in Scripture. In the instance of spanking, it is clearly endorsed, and even mandated. It is wrong to just assume there’s something wrong with the practice, or disparage the character of husbands who spank.

        I see no reason to think that standing in the corner for punishment is unloving. Are teachers who have students stand in the corner unloving? It is a form of chastisement, and chastisement by its nature is not enjoyable to go through. Jesus chastises his Bride, and you can be sure it includes some pain and shame. Loving leaders punish wrongs.

        But let’s talk about far more harsh punishments that everyone endorses. Are governments that send out uniformed agents to put men in chains unloving? Are police who chase down and tackle an offender unloving? Are governments who arrest men, and send them to prison, breaking up their family, costing them their job, and exposing them to repeated violent assault unloving?

        It’s clear that giving a punishment, even a fairly harsh one, is not unloving. It is just, because the offender did evil, and deserves to be punished. The goal is to punish the evildoer, and protect others from their evil. That is a LOVING response to evil.

        If locking someone behind bars is not unloving, then a bare bottomed spanking, and corner time are not unloving either. It is loving husbands who spank their wives.

        You do get something right there in that you understand that for a husband to punish his wife presupposes a vertical pillar of authority. Of course it does. The Bible teaches that. The husband has the authority, and the wife is subordinate to his authority. That is why the husband has every right to discipline his wife.

        Marriages that use spanking involve love, they involve communication, they involve the shared joys of marriage. Just like any other marriage. It is a malicious and inaccurate claim to accuse them of being unloving or unChristian.

        The marriages that are truly unloving and unChristian are ones broken by the bloodshed of divorce, ended so one partner can depart and marry another, filled with the tumult of a wife who disrespects and argues with her husband, made up of fighting or coldness, lacking in physical intimacy, and lacking in children on purpose. These are some examples of marriages that go against the Bible.

        Christians need to face those sins and repent of them. In contrast, marriages in which husbands are the authority, and discipline their wives do not go against the Bible. You just do not personally like the idea, or else you’d be able to prove from the Bible that it’s wrong. Spanking is within the domain of a husbands’ authority over his wife.


  7. This is typical of Christians who have little else to do, and want to make a doctrine out of their own opinion. They opine about how wrong spanking your wife is, and try to preach the doctrine of “spanking’s bad,” judging their Christian brothers by this doctrine, and suggesting they’re not very Christian.

    There are real problems in the world, and there are real problems among believers in marriage. There are real sins that go on that need to be addressed. Spanking is not one of them. It is ironic that while suggesting spanking is unChristian, those who condemn it are pretending that their personal opinions are doctrines, going well beyond what the Bible teaches, which is itself an unChristian thing to do. We don’t make doctrines out of our opinions.

    The first thing to notice with those who claim spanking is bad, and the Bible tells me so, is that they don’t actually rely on the Bible to teach that it’s bad. They rely on blowing hot air, and talking subjectively about the Bible, and some general ideas within the Bible, but they can’t actually show from the Bible itself that it’s wrong to spank your wife. It’s just a long blather of their own opinions, while loosely working with biblical nomenclature. If the Bible doesn’t say spanking is wrong, you should not claim that it does.

    The fact that men have authority in marriage is clear, not only from Ephesians 5, but from other New Testament passages which teach headship and submission. This is also clear in Genesis itself. There is no reason to think that authority in marriage is some special different form, in which discipline is not possible. Of course it is possible, and discipline is given by every other biblical authority, be it parents, masters, elders, government, or God. There is nothing in all the text of Scripture to suggest husbands uniquely, of all authorities ordained by God, can’t give discipline. The idea has to be made up.

    Husbands certainly have a right to discipline their wives, because they are the authority over them. The words used to describe a woman’s submission and obedience are the same words that are applied to submission and obedience to authority elsewhere, including submission to masters, parents, governments, God, and more powerful forces in general. The word “head” when used to describe the husband, is the same word used to describe Christ and God, who are also heads, and have authority. Those under them obey them. This is not ambiguous. The man is the authority, like any other.

    One could then jump to the argument that “spanking is bad.” But then you’d have to prove it. Nothing in the Bible says so, and in fact the Bible endorses corporal punishment multiple times. It even mandates corporal punishments in some instances. Therefore, spanking is not bad, you just don’t personally like it. A husband is justly using his authority when he spanks his wife for bad behavior. It’s a normal, loving use of authority, that helps the wife, and helps the home. To accuse the man of having some aberrant mental condition because he gives discipline, you’d also have to accuse parents, masters, governments, and God. So it’s foolish to do.

    One could always run to the argument that spanking is not “loving,” but this is patently false. Punishment in general, when just, is well within the purposes of love, and men in any authority position may give punishment while remaining a loving man. If spanking is not loving, then no authority is loving, because all authorities use discipline, often far harsher discipline than simple spanking. Moreover, God himself, and Christ, promise to punish those they love. Christ promises to chastise His people. The New Testament teaches the goodness of chastisement, which is only for a short time, but bears the fruit of righteousness. Therefore, it is simply dumb to call punishment, spanking or otherwise, unloving.

    While critics like to play up alleged problems with wife spanking, they simply ignore the fact that wife spanking takes care of many real problems. It puts a wife’s wicked attitudes, foul mouth, bad behavior, disrespect, and negligence well into the past, and it does a very good job of it. It heals a wife. Conflicts, when they exist, are brief. Marital peace is the norm. A wife who knows her husband is her head, and that she will be disciplined if she disobeys, has an easier time in being a godly submissive wife, and finds there is much more marital peace than the other way. It also tends to draw husband and wife closer together.

    The loose, foggy, impossible to define version of headship that most churches teach leaves marriages in shambles. It leaves women with the idea they can put down their men, that they don’t really have to obey, that they can refuse intimacy, and that any man who asserts his authority, and actually expects her to do her job, or behave better, is an evil abuser. It teaches such a watered down version of headship, it is nearly useless, and this trashes marriages. Women know they can do what they want, and men know they’re not allowed to do anything about it. It’s a joke.

    Christians should not be worrying about husbands who actually take real authority in the home. They should not be worrying about men who spank their wives, as long as it is done fairly and safely. These are well within the bounds of biblical authority. They should worry instead about the sins that the Bible actually teaches about, explicitly, such as the epidemic of divorce and remarriage, which the Bible calls adultery. In fact, don’t worry about it, grieve over it. THERE is an actual biblical sin for you. There is what the brethren need to rebuke, and repent of. Cease the violence and bloodshed of divorce. Cease committing adultery by taking new husbands and wives. Marriage is for life and only ends with death. Of course churches refuse to even hear this, much less preach it, but it is taught by Christ and the apostles and the Church must obey. Get married, stay married for life, and depart from relationships of adultery.

    We need more men disciplining their wives, as many already do, and not less. It blesses countless homes with peace.


    • Loving husbands do not spank their wives. We don’t need more men abusing women and calling it disciplining their wives. If a husband loves his wife as he claims, why does he continue spanking her when she begs him to stop? Why tell her that she’s just trying to get out of it? If causing someone pain your idea of loving them and bringing peace into the home? Domestic Discipline is a spousal abuse, pure and simple. I hope and pray that one of these days, your eyes will be opened to that truth. Right now, you and all the other husbands who practice CDD and DD are deceiving yourselves. As long as this type of abuse takes place, Christians will continue to speak out against it.


      • This is merely a repeat of much of what you said before, and it has been answered. Loving husbands DO spank their wives, as spanking is a form of discipline and is love in action. Just as loving parents chastise their children, and a loving God chastises His beloved people, a loving man chastises his beloved wife. If you think he does not, then you do not know what love it.

        A spanking is not abuse, but is discipline. A wife’s bad behavior is abuse. Her negligence is abuse. Her refusal of affection is abuse. Her disrespectful language is abuse. We could go on and on. Discipline is not abuse, but rather deals with serious wrongs, which are themselves very harmful. The spanked wife is not the victim, but is offender, who is being punished, and guided back onto the right path.

        As long as wives continue to behave badly, husbands will continue to justly chastise them. It is good for a marriage, and good for the home. You can cry all you want about it, but millions of people, both adult and child, are spanked every day, and very rarely does it do them anything but good.

        Your emotions are not truth. You have not showed either from Scripture or logic that spanking is essentially wrong. That means you should stop making the claim. You just don’t personally like it, but you make ignorant and unjust accusations about your fellow Christian. Your unjust accusations are sin. Spanking is not.


      • I know what love because it is clearly defined in the Bible, in 1 Corinthians 13, to be exact and other parts of the Bible. I have used Scripture to show that your idea of marriage and love are not biblical. So, you can accuse me of making unjust accusations as much as you like but it will not change the fact that spanking your wife is not of God. Spanking your wife is not a loving act. It is spousal abuse, no matter how much you insist that it isn’t. And there are many God-fearing Christians who feel the same way as I do about domestic discipline.


      • You need to stop making things up. Number one, love as described in 1 Corinthians 13 is in harmony with loving discipline, because a loving husband, who does all of those things described in the passage, will still discipline when necessary. It helps his wife, it helps his marriage, and it helps the home which is a fountain of life.

        If that were not the case, then God would not be loving, and parents would not be loving, but BOTH of them discipline those under them. If we followed your logic we would disprove God’s love. Hmm.

        For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.” Hebrews 12:6

        Moreover, it’s not the only thing the Bible teaches authoritatively about love. Love is also obedience:

        “If you love Me, keep My commandments. John 14:15

        If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. John 15:10

        By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. 1 John 5:2

        You are grossly twisting Scripture then, and misrepresent what love is.

        You continue to make false accusation, and you need to cease. Discipline, as understood in Scripture, is not abuse, but is love in action, and is for the good of the person discipline. Cease from your arrogance and sin.

        Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

        Hebrews 12:9-11


      • Spanking is not obeying Jesus’ commandment to love Him. The Bible teaches that we ought to love our neighbor as ourselves. Spanking a woman is not loving her as you would love yourself. Please stop abusing your role as head of your home and start treating your wife as you yourself would like to be treated. Please stop misrepresenting love and twisting the Word of God to excuse and condone what you are doing in the name of “domestic discipline.”

        Love as described in 1 Corinthians 13 is not in harmony with loving discipline. You accuse me of arrogance and sin because I’m speaking out against what you’re doing. Men aren’t entitled to spank their wives. The Scripture verses you have cited do not support your arguments.

        Hebrews 12:6 and Proverbs 3:12 speak of God’s chastisement of us. How does He chastise/chasten us? He uses trials and difficulties. Our chastisement is not undeserved and its purpose is not mainly for inflicting pain. The word “scourges” is used metaphorically of God as a Father chastising and training His children by afflictions. An example is Manasseh who was carried off in captivity to Babylon for all the wicked things he had done but when he cried out to God, God heard him and delivered him (2 Chronicles 33:1-13).

        Fathers are told that they should not provoke their children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. They are to be governed in love and wisdom. In other words, fathers should not abuse their power and authority. Colossians 3:21 also warns fathers not to provoke their children to anger. They can do this by being too harsh, too demanding, too controlling.

        What about the husband who likes to discipline his wife? Does he provoke her by being too harsh, too demanding, too controlling? What about humiliating and demeaning her? What about when he has her stand naked in a corner, facing a wall, in pain until he decides that she has learned her lesson? Is that his idea of godly discipline?

        What about when a wife begs her husband to stop spanking her but he refuses and continues to inflict pain on her all in the name of loving discipline? Domestic discipline should never be compared to or likened to God’s discipline of His children. He disciplines us out of love. A man uses domestic discipline to control his wife. Love is not controlling. It is a fruit of the Spirit.


      • Yes, love includes obedience to God. So do not try to wrongly define it anymore.

        Spanking is well within the authority that Jesus and God give to the husband, and is biblically mandated in the Bible for some punishments. So yes, a man is being obedient to God to lead, and to discipline his wife. God gave him that authority in the first place. In contrast, a wife is being disobedient to God, and unloving, if she refuses her husband’s authority.

        Despite the various replies above, you have not cited a single Scripture that says that spanking is wrong or that wife spanking is wrong. You cannot. It’s clearly just your own opinions and your own wrong definition of love. Love includes discipline, and that is clear in the Bible, otherwise God himself would be unloving.

        Since it is only your opinion, you need to stop judging Christian brothers and sisters for having spanking in their marriage. Judging that way is sin. You have no basis to accuse them of wrong.

        To scourge means to punish. To scourge includes spanking, as well as other forms of serious punishment. Same thing with chastise.

        What that proves is that discipline is well within loving relationships, and this refutes your claims. Jesus scourges. God scourges. Not only that, but in context of comparing God’s punishment to a CHILD’S punishment, Hebrews 12 clearly suggests corporal punishment, because corporal punishment was a norm for punishing children, and is mandated in the Bible. It references something known to be painful.

        Nor can you redefine scourging as something gentle. When God chastises it is often through violent invaders, death, and famine. Read Lamentations one more time. Read Revelation one more time. What’s gentle about that? Would you accuse God of sin and pride? Yet this is what the Bible teaches. It gives many such examples both Old Testament and New of God’s fearful punishment. It is not a time out.

        You seem to be lingering in the already refuted idea that husbands need a precise command to spank their wives in order to do it. They do NOT. They simply need the authority, which they obviously have from God. Spanking then is well within their authority, and is both permitted and mandated as a punishment throughout the Bible by a loving God.

        The burden of proof is on you to show that spanking is wrong, or that wife spanking is wrong, but you have not a single Scripture to show that. Rather, you ignore Scripture which proves that punishment, including severe punishment, is a part of a loving relationship. Jesus promises the churches of Revelation they will suffer death for their sins if they continue, and that is hardly a mild, gentle reproof. So get over this idea that chastisement has to be gentle.

        If love did not include rules and punishment, you would logically mean that God, and all instituted authorities in the Bible are not loving. Then I guess you attack your own faith, and refute the truth of the Bible.

        A husband who has rules is not “controlling.” He is loving, and rules apply that love to the household. A husband who punishes his wife is neither out of control nor cruel. He is punishing an offender, and applying love to the household through it.

        Loving discipline shows the fruit of the Spirit, despite your gross misrepresentation of it. It is you who lack self-control, by letting your emotions move you to judge your brother, and by ignoring the Word of God itself. You then invent a non-biblical version of love. All of your claims are refuted by Scripture, which show that love is in harmony with discipline, and discipline is often painful.

        The punished offender is not supposed to like it, just as Hebrews 12 plainly states. Yet the punished offender is rewarded in the long run. To treat punishment like oppression is very immature, and a shallow attempt to play the victim. A badly behaved wife is rightly punished by her husband ,who does her good in doing so. She needs to look at her own wrong, and not blame the authority for correcting her.


      • Your response is typical of those who try to defend something that is unbiblical. You have not cited any Scripture which supports wife spanking because none exists. Wife spanking is not mandated by God and claiming that is erroneous. It goes against what Jesus said about the husband and wife and what Paul and Peter said about the relationship between a husband and wife.

        Even after a husband was given authority over his wife, men were told to love their wives as themselves. Peter exhorted them, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Do you try to show your wife understanding or is everything resolved with the cane or the belt or what ever you use to spank her?

        What happens to a badly behaved husband or when he commits an infraction? You’re probably going to say that nothing happens because he’s the head–the authority of the wife. Or are you going to say that there are no badly behaved husbands?

        You claim, “Loving discipline shows the fruit of the Spirit, despite your gross misrepresentation of it. It is you who lack self-control, by letting your emotions move you to judge your brother, and by ignoring the Word of God itself. You then invent a non-biblical version of love. All of your claims are refuted by Scripture, which show that love is in harmony with discipline, and discipline is often painful.” This just proves my point that you are misrepresenting the Word of God.

        “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…” – Galatians 5:22-23. Are you exercising any of these or is spanking your only way of dealing with your wife? The Holy Spirit convicts us when we do wrong. Do you really think He would condone wife spanking?

        You refer to the wife as an “offender”. Doesn’t Jesus teach us that we ought to pray for those who offend us? If we are told to love and pray for our enemies, what about your wife? Why don’t you pray for her instead of spanking her? Prayer is very effective.

        You insult me because you don’t want to accept the Truth. When you reject the Truth, you are rejecting God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. My emotions have nothing to do with this but God’s unerring Truth which is there to reprove and to correct us.


      • All you are doing is repeating precisely what you have said before. Your claims have been refuted. Your misrepresentation of biblical love has been refuted. You have zero passages from the Bible to teach that spanking is wrong, but you want to live by your feelings and personal desires, rather than by the Bible. You are sinful to accuse brothers of wrongdoing when you have no basis to make that claim.

        Wife spanking goes against NOTHING in Scripture. It is in harmony with biblical authority, which is given by God to the husband. A spanking is a biblically accepted and mandated punishment. Love includes discipline in the Bible, many times over, including very harsh discipline. The Christ of Scripture, is without a doubt, a Bride spanker. Yet He is perfect love. 

        If we use your standards, God is being sinful, governments who have laws are all sinful, employers are sinful, and parents who punish children are sinful. God is a God of pride and anger, and you can sit in judgment over Him. That would be the result of your flawed “analysis” of Scripture. You need to admit your mistake and your sin of judging your brother without any basis.

        Quoting Paul about dwelling in understanding, and honoring a wife as the weaker vessel offers no proof of your ridiculous claims. You have to insert your own beliefs in there because they’re not in the text. It is very possible to dwell in understanding, as it is possible to dwell in love, while also disciplining the wife. You are reading your own beliefs into the text. Loving and understanding husbands discipline their wives all the time, and they do so with respect for their weaknesses, both physical and mental. It is a caring act for their good.

        You can keep repeating the fruit of the Spirit all you want — it makes a nice memorable Christian song as well — but this passage of Galatians does not teach that discipline is wrong. It teaches Christians the character they should have, and all of that character agrees with a leader who practices loving discipline. If it did not, then every single Christian parent who punished their child would NOT be showing the fruit of the Spirit. Every single Christian employer who disciplined his workers would be lacking too. Every single government which penalized crime would be un-Christian. Nothing in Galatians says that spanking is wrong, and God himself mandates the practice. God does not lack the Holy Spirit.

        Notice, you still have ZERO passages from the Bible which teach that spanking is wrong.

        What’s actually wrong is the bad behavior of wives which leads them to be justly punished:

        Her badmouth is wrong. Her disrespect is wrong. Her disobedience is wrong. Her negligence is wrong. Her endangering her children is wrong. Her rejection of intimacy is wrong. Her drunkenness is wrong. Her dishonesty is wrong.

        THOSE things are actually prohibited in the Bible, and a husband does right to punish his wife for it. You can try all you like to turn the tables — like an immature adolescent — but the behavior that the Bible condemns is not spanking, but much of what a wife does that gets her spanked in the first place. Her wrong behavior is prohibited by Scripture.

        As I have said — go read Lamentations. Go read Revelation. Go read other passages from the prophets. Tell me God is lacking in the Spirit or lacking in love because He punishes evil, and at times does so harshly. Your arguments are empty, and come from your personal feelings. Good and loving husbands spank their wives.


      • I have read Lamentations and Revelation. I know the Bible and I know it does not support you spanking your wife no matter how much you claim it does. Instead of worrying about me, pray and ask God to forgive you for what you’re doing to your wife. Claiming that my arguments are empty and attacking me personally isn’t going to change the fact that domestic discipline is not biblical. There are many good, loving husbands who do not spank their wives.

        What about the wrong behavior of a husband, wouldn’t it be prohibited in the Bible too? When Adam disobeyed God? Did God punish Eve only?

        You need to prayerfully read Colossians 3:19 which says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.”

        Regarding sexual intimacy between a husband and wife, the Bible addresses this in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5: Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. If a woman deprives her husband or rejects intimacy, this is something both of them have to deal with God’s help.

        You said, “Her badmouth is wrong. Her disrespect is wrong. Her disobedience is wrong. Her negligence is wrong. Her endangering her children is wrong. Her rejection of intimacy is wrong. Her drunkenness is wrong. Her dishonesty is wrong.” The same applies to the husband. Badmouth, disrespect, disobedience, negligence, endangering others, rejection, drunkenness and dishonesty is wrong regardless of gender. God’s rules apply to both men and women, not only to wives.


      • If you have read Lamentations, the Torah, Revelation, the prophets, then you KNOW that the chastisement of God, His scourging, is not simply a mild affair. You know it amounts to serious punishment. That completely refutes your attempt to redefine scourging as a gentle thing. Obviously it is not. That means you need to accept that punishment is in full harmony with love.

        More from Revelation:
        “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. (3:19)

        In the context of chapters 2 and 3 alone, Christ’s chastening includes being destroyed as a church, illness and death, having your name blotted out of the book of life. These are very serious chastisements, as are others listed in the same book.

        What that proves is that Christ’s is love, and Christ also scourges those He loves. It is not a gentle time out. It includes harsh punishment. Your claim then that love is in conflict with discipline is completely false. Clearly Christ punishes His beloved. So stop using that argument.

        You can repeat “love” all you want, but you do not have a biblical version of love. You have a false one. Biblical love is applied through the righteous use of authority, making rules that promote the good and punish evil, and punishing evil offenders, punishments generally being very unpleasant to experience. That is love applied. That is Bible.

        The fact that God did not only punish Eve, but also Adam, is irrelevant to whether husbands can discipline their wives, through spanking or otherwise. All authorities have a right to discipline those under them. Men are disciplined by their superiors as well, and also by God. Nothing there comes down in your favor.

        I am not attacking you personally to say your arguments are false. Nor to call them immature, because they are immature, seeking to avoid responsibility, and attack authorities who justly punish. They are clearly not biblical and you need to stop making them. You are reinventing the meaning of words, and ignoring God’s character, and God’s justice. This is just liberalism by another name. You need to repent, and respect your brothers who chastise their wives.

        Nothing comes down in your favor in 1 Corinthians 7 either. I regularly teach from that passage, and teach both men and women to share affection with each other freely. It is a duty. The fact that men have a responsibility to those under them does not mean they are not the heads, nor that they cannot punish their wives. It only means they have a responsibility. They have responsibilities towards their children too, but they also punish their children for doing wrong. Man and wife’s body belongs to each through being one flesh. This does not mean men may not spank their wives. It does not mean you may not lead her, set rules, or otherwise punish her. It says that nowhere. That is only your personal opinion which you constantly try to inject into Scripture where it does not exist.

        Of course God’s law applies to men as well as to women. That is irrelevant. Man is the authority, so man is the one to apply that in the home, and discipline those under him. You simply want to ignore the fact it is the punished wife who is breaking God’s law in the Bible, and NOT the husband who spanks her. Her behavior is wrong and causes harm. Punishment corrects it.

        I can point to passages which prohibit a wife’s wicked behavior. I can point you to passages that prohibit her lying, her disobedience, her lack of affection, her negligence, and more. You can point to NONE that prohibits a man to spank his wife, or to otherwise discipline her.

        You could make the same immature argument about parents. Parents cannot punish their children, because parents break the rules sometimes too. That is a nonsensical argument. Parents still have authority over their children, and the fact they might do wrong changes nothing. The government might break God’s law, but you and I still need to obey the law, and the authorities will arrest us if we do not.

        Still waiting for one single passage from the Bible that says spanking is bad. I have shown you that a wife’s bad behavior is prohibited in the Bible, but you can’t do the same for spanking. The man does rightly to chasten his wife when she does wrong. It helps her, the marriage, and the home. God has given him that authority.


      • This will be my last response to your comments. Only God can get through to you and others who believe as you do. Everything I have said is in reference to God’s Word. Yes, the Bible talks of God chastising His people but no where does it mention anything about a husband spanking his wife. That is man made not biblical doctrine. You’re still waiting for one single passage from the Bible which says that spanking is bad and I’m still waiting for one single passage to say that it is mandatory or condoned by God. God has never and will never give a man the authority to spank his wife. Calling my arguments childish and immature wouldn’t change anything. And the same law you mentioned that we ought to obey is the same law which will have a problem with domestic discipline. To them it’s marital abuse. And you will never convince me that God would sanction a husband spanking his wife, especially when she’s pregnant.


      • It would be good if that’s your last comment, because we are just repeating ourselves. You are wrong about spanking, and you are not sincerely trying to seek truth in Scripture.T he Bible shows you are wrong.

        You don’t get to write your own Bible, made up of your opinions and your personal desires. The Bible itself is our source of truth, and it nowhere condemns spanking. Cease making your own words as if they are the words of God. That is a sin.

        The Bible DOES teach that a wife must obey her husband in all things. The Bible also teaches strongly against the wicked behavior that a wife does to end up getting spanked. So you have no basis there, but rather it refutes you. I don’t know how many times you want to say the same things, and close your eyes to reason, but in all those many words, you cannot cite a single Scripture that teaches your viewpoint. They simply do not exist.

        I do not need to show you any mandate that says a husband must spank his wife. That’s nonsense and we’ve been over that topic already. Do parents need to show a mandate in the Bible in order to have a bedtime for their children? Do they need a mandate for the Bible to use a time out? If they didn’t, then both of those practices would be unethical, because the Bible does not teach them. Parents would all have to cease doing them. Do governments today need a mandate for the Bible to utilize prison time as a punishment? The Bible never mandates prison time. Your logic would say that means sentencing people to prison is always unethical. That’s because your logic is nonsensical. No one needs a mandate from the Bible to do everything they do. They only need the basic authority to do it.

        When it comes to husbands, they have the basic authority to discipline their wives. That authority is given by God. The use of corporal punishment is accepted in the Bible and at times is mandated. That means that corporal punishment, used justly, is in harmony with love, with self-control, and with a gentle character. Otherwise, everyone would be sinning if they used discipline, or if they used force in general. It would all be sin.

        You only make that argument to avoid the fact that the burden of proof is on YOU, and nowhere in many comments have you come close to meeting a burden of proof. I have met the burden of proof showing the husband has the authority in the home, that spanking as a practice is acceptable, and that discipline of many forms is in harmony with love. You have not shown any meaningful evidence that spanking is wrong.

        You are grossly twisting Scripture because it does not agree with you. You misinterpret because your belief system does not exist in its pages. You’ve got to twist it to suit your desires. If you sincerely turn to God, God will give you a right understanding of His Word, and He will teach you to treat your brothers and sisters in Christ more fairly. That will include no longer accusing them of all kinds of wrong, just because they use corporal punishment. They are your brothers in Christ.


      • It would be best if this were your last comment as well because we’re getting nowhere. Thanks for your concern but I have a right understanding of God’s Word because My Teacher is His Holy Spirit–the Spirit of Truth.


      • The man above seems quite confused on the points he is trying to make; on the one hand he points to most marriages being in shambles, even within the church, as husbands won’t hurt their wives as he wishes they would, but on the other hand he states confidently that ‘many men discipline their wives’.

        He is an abuser, clear and simple. He speaks of his responsibility to honour scripture (even though physical violence toward a wife is not endorsed), his commitment to the Christian faith, yet praises men from other religions (where domestic abuse rates are higher). Christianity is not what drives this man; the subjugation of women is.

        More and more women are leaving the church. This is notable as women on the whole have always been more observing/religious. The (slight) increase in fertility rate among Evangelicals is not enough to outdo those who leave. With how women are treated within the church, with what some expect women to endure, who can blame them?

        They retain their faith often, but organised religion hides and justifies all sorts of crimes and sins to which women are especially vulnerable.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I agree with you, Joanna. Erroneous beliefs are always confusing. How could he claim that he is honoring scripture and yet, he is not treating and loving the wife as he would treat and love himself? Spanking wives is not endorsed by God. Being the head of the wife doesn’t entitle him to abuse her under the guise of domestic discipline. Wives are to be treated with the same love Christ shows to the church of which He is the Head. Love doesn’t hurt, humiliate or harm. It would be good for churches to speak out against domestic discipline. This should not even be happening in marriages–especially among Christian couples.


      • I am not confused about anything Joanna. I recognize the way that marriage functions, through authority and submission, and I recognize the harm done in abandoning that. Discipline is not “abuse” as you slanderously charge, but is a normal form of correction. Spanking is a legitimate form of correction, and after many tries, here and elsewhere, I have yet to hear a Christian provide any evidence it is wrong.

        What is abusive is attacking male authority, threatening divorce (which God calls bloody violence and which leaves trauma down entire generations), and misleading generations of young people about how marriage works. That is abusive. A spanking is a simple form of correction by a person who has the authority to use it.


    • From the Bible it is taught that parents have authority over their children. It is also taught that a husband has authority over a wife.

      Yet it was also considered important enough to include that parents can physically chastise their children. If that is something easily inferred from ‘having authority’ (as you state is the case for your claim that ‘corrrection’ for wives is okay), then why was it made explicit in the case of children? If authority immediately equals endorsement for physical chastistement, then why was it spelled out when it came to children and not for wives?

      Then and now, adults have fewer issues with the idea that ‘correction’ can be used toward a child than with a wife, so surely, spelling it out would have been necessary in the wife’s case, if that’s what God wanted, and not in the child’s.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Joanna, That is not much of an argument. In short, you have ZERO passages from the Bible that teach that spanking is wrong. If it were actually wrong as a form of discipline, the Bible would not endorse it so many times. Spanking is legitimate as a form of discipline.

        It may not be mandated for husbands to spank their wives, but it is an acceptable use of authority, by the person who has authority — the husband. If I need a passage mandating spanking in order to spank, show me a passage mandating bedtimes for children. Or are you going to claim they are wrong too?


      • Another thing to add: ‘Aronhusband’, do you believe that your boss has the right to spank you for turning up late/handing in poor work/not getting along with colleagues or any other failing on your part as the employee? After all, he or she (women make up a third of bosses) has authority over you, and spanking is a legitimate way to manage subordinates in your view? So I would imagine you wouldn’t have any issue with it?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Joanna, You have failed to demonstrate that spanking is wrong. You have failed to find any passage from Scripture that says spanking is wrong. That’s because it is not. Going to hypotheticals isn’t going to help your case, but I will answer your question.

        There is nothing inherently wrong in using corporal punishment either on criminals, or on badly behaved employees. In fact, it could be a useful measure for an employee as for anyone else. The Bible endorses corporal punishment for servants and slaves, and the modern equivalent of that role is employees. Moreover, MANY people would prefer to be disciplined that way than to be fined, demoted, or fired.

        It would simply be a short lesson to motivate someone, and turn them away from their error. I have no objection to placing myself under such a system in the workforce, so long as it functioned safely and justly.


    • Maybe you ought to be banned, Joanna. This site provides men and women help in their marriages, and I have seen the good that comes when couples embrace their roles. It is good for them.


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