Not Ally’s Dad

It was the worst day in my life–finding out that Ally wasn’t my biological daughter. The first time I held her in my arms, my heart belonged to her and I honestly believed that she was mine. For some reason, though, maybe it was her intuition, but my mother advised me to get a DNA test just to make sure. I did and was shocked when the results came back negative. I wasn’t Ally’s Dad.

I confronted my wife, Jenn she confessed that she had had an affair with her boss, Rob. He was married and had two daughters. They both decided that they wouldn’t break up his marriage and that I, whom she was dating at the time, was the better catch financially as I had a better paying job and a nice home.

So, I married her, not suspecting anything. I loved her and was excited about starting a family. I was a loving and dutiful husband, going to prenatal classes and doing all the cooking and housework so that she could rest. I fussed over her and on the day of her delivery, I was both nervous and excited. I was there throughout the delivery. I went through the breathing exercises with Jenn and held her hand. I was moved when I saw Ally’s head emerge and then she was out and after they cleaned her up, the nurse placed her in my arms. Jenn watched me holding her and crying over her and she knew–she knew that I was holding another man’s child.

After she confessed to having Rob’s child and having me raise her believing that she was mine, she told me that she wanted a divorce because Rob was leaving his wife for her. I agreed to the divorce but I wanted full custody of Ally. I may not be her biological father but I was her father in every other way. And I didn’t knew that she wouldn’t be happy living with her mother and her real father. Without blinking an eye, Jenn told me that I could have her. “She’d be better off with you,” she said. That night, she packed her things and left.

The next morning while she was having her breakfast before I took her to school, I told Ally that her Mommy had left and wasn’t coming back. When she asked why, I explained that things were not working out between Mommy and me and that it was best for Mommy to live somewhere else. I also told her that she could see Mommy when she was ready.

Then, COVID-19 hit and Ally wasn’t able to see her mother. Then, I found out from a mutual friend that Rob had contracted it and died. Fortunately, for his daughters, they saw him before he was exposed to the virus. Unfortunately, Jenn got it from him. She was in hospital, fighting for her life. I told Ally and she cried. I held her for a long time and then I suggested that we pray for her Mom. We did but she passed away a couple of days later. We couldn’t have a funeral because of the self-isolation mandate so we had our own virtual service with family and friends.

I’m sorry that Jenn’s gone. I really did love her and had wanted us to have a long and happy marriage but it wasn’t meant to be. I don’t think she ever loved me. It had always been Rob. The affair began soon after she began working for him. I can’t imagine what his ex-wife and daughters must be going through now. All of our lives have been turned upside down by his affair with Jenn. I haven’t told Ally that I’m not her biological father. I will wait until she’s much older to do that.

I have read so many stories of other men who have gone through what I have. Some of them chose to break ties with the children they thought were their’s and I can’t blame them. Most times it’s not about the children but the mothers who deceived their husbands. Some men believe that these women should be put in prison for marriage fraud and or paternity fraud. Others still keep in touch with the children but they no longer pay child support. My advice to men who are thinking of marrying or who are married, if the woman you’re with is pregnant, get a DNA test to make sure that the child she’s carrying is yours. It could save you a lot of heartache and money.

Sources: Quora; Daily Mail; The Atlantic

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