The Conflict

Yusuke-Ogasawara-2019-Rake-Magazine-012

Try as he did, he couldn’t run away from his conscience or God.  He was in a taxi on his way to a conference at the Protea Hotel in Entebbe, trying not to think about what he was doing to Ife when he heard the words, “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, it is sin.”  They were coming from inside the car.  The driver was listening to a sermon on the radio.  Unfortunately, for him it was in English.  He tried to tune it out the man’s authoritative voice because it made him squirm in his seat but he couldn’t.  He ended up listening to the entire sermon before he arrived at the business center where the conference was being held.

It was quite a feat trying to concentrate on the business at hand and not be distracted by his thoughts of guilt and self-recrimination.  He was thankful when they broke for lunch.  Lunch was a painfully boring experience but the food was good although he didn’t have much of an appetite.   The rest of the afternoon went quickly and he was on his way back to Kampala.  After the driver dropped him off at the hotel, instead of going inside, he walked to the beach.

He needed time to think and sort out the conflict between his conscience and his desires which was raging inside him.  In his mind, he was thinking, I know that what I am doing is wrong and my conscience is telling me so but I can’t help myself.  And what about Ife?  She’s a Christian but I’m making her sin.  Every time she gets into bed with me, she’s sinning.  How could I do that to her?  How could I be so selfish?

When he reached the beach, he removed his shoes and socks and walked bare feet in the sand.  He walked for some distance before he stopped and dropped to his knees.  His mind was in a turmoil and his heart was heavy as he thought about Ife and that he was soon going to be leaving her.  Tomorrow, he was flying back to Tokyo and he had no idea when he would be returning to Kampala again.  The company decided when he came and he hadn’t been informed of any upcoming trips after he returned from this one.

I really want to do what is right, but I can’t.  Head bent, hands shoved in his pockets, he closed his eyes.  Images of Ife and him in bed flashed across his mind.  He always felt guilty afterwards but his desire for her was stronger than his moral sense.  He knew that he should have ended this unholy alliance soon after it began but the mere thought of not being with Ife any more was unbearable.  Right now, his longing for her was so overpowering that he couldn’t stand it any longer.  He had to get back to his suite right away.  She should be there now.  His eyes flew open.

As he scrambled to his feet, he felt a couple of drops on his arm.   Looking up at the sky, he could see that it was about to rain.  He scrambled to his feet, grabbed his shoes and socks and headed up the embankment to the street.  He stood beside a tree to put on his socks and shoes and jacket.  Just as he started towards the hotel, the rain came down.  It fell in buckets.  He ran all the way to the hotel and by the time he got to his suite, he was soaking wet.

Next up is Toshiro Returns to Tokyo.

Sources:  Bible GatewayMeetings Booker

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