Thinking of Her

She ran along the beach, laughing.  When she looked back and me and smiled, my heart stopped.  The sun hit her at just the right angle.  I envied it because it was caressing her face.  The hands holding the camcorder ached to hold her instead.  I forced myself to concentrate on my task.  I wanted to capture every moment.

Surrounded by sand and sea, we were in paradise.   As I watched her dancing, her arms spread out like a bird’s wings clad in that swimsuit that drove me crazy, I thought of what a lucky guy I was.

Yes, I was a lucky guy.  I married the woman of my dreams and we were blissfully happy until that day when fate intruded upon our happiness and snatched her away from me.  I sit here now on the beach, thinking of her and missing her.  It’s a grey and dismal day, reflective of how I am feeling inside.  The sea seems angry.  I close my eyes and think of that day when we were walking along the water’s edge on a beautiful beach, our future ahead of us.  Not once did it ever occur to me that a year later, she would be gone from my life forever.

Yes, fate dealt me a cruel and heavy blow which has knocked me down.  I don’t know if I will ever be able to get up again.  I can’t imagine going on without her.  She was my life, my world and now she’s gone, leaving this emptiness behind.  I don’t know how long I will sit here and listen to the waves or the cries of the seagulls.  Right now, I can’t face going back to an empty apartment.

There is no armour against fate – JAMES SHIRLEY, The Contention of Ajax and Ulysses