Drink from your own well, my son—be faithful and true to your wife. Be happy, yes, rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her breasts and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight. – Proverbs 5:15, 18, 19
It was a Sunday afternoon. Sunlight streamed through the window. I could hear the muffled sounds of the traffic below. We were lying on the couch. The television was on. Angie was sleeping. I stared at the screen but my thoughts were elsewhere. I was thinking about Nikki. She’s the woman I’m having an affair with.
I know this may sound lame but I never intended to cheat on Angie. And definitely not with one of her co-workers. I was blindsided. It all began last year when Angie and I went to her company’s Christmas party. It was the first time she actually succeeded in getting me to go. She had tried in the past but I always turned her down, preferring to either hang out with my friends or go on a Football binge while enjoying spicy chicken wings. This time, I decided to go because she laid a guilt trip on me and apparently there was a new guy who seemed a little too interested in her. I wanted to sort him out.
As soon as we got there, I said to her, “So, where’s the new guy?”
Angie looked at me. She looked amazing in the red ankle length strapless dress which flattered her figure. Her hair was swept back in a French knot. “Promise me you wouldn’t embarrass him or me,” she said.
“He’s over there talking to Nikki.”
“Nikki?” My eyes followed hers and spotted a man and woman having an animated conversation across the room. Nikki had her back to us.
“Yes, I’ve told you about her. Come let me introduce you.” She held my hand as we navigated our way through the group, past the dance floor to where the guy and Nikki were. The guy said something to Nikki and she turned around.
I never imagined that I would react to her the way I did. I felt as if my heart had stopped for a second before it began to pound. She was stunning. The faux fur trim knee length black dress showed off her lovely figure and her hair was pulled back with a clasp with a few curls escaping. Her shapely legs looked long in the black high heeled shoes. The room suddenly felt very warm. I needed a drink.
“Dex.” Angie’s gentle nudge on my arm jolted me and I turned to her. “This is Nikki.”
Nikki smiled up at me and held out her hand. “Dex, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” she said as we shook hands. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
I didn’t know what to say except, “It’s a pleasure to meet you too.”
“Honey, this is Erik.”
It was funny that I wasn’t bothered by Erik anymore. I think it had something to do with the fact that I was distracted by Nikki. I could feel her eyes on me as Erik and I shook hands. I don’t remember what I said to him but from Angie’s expression, it wasn’t anything bad or insulting.
“How about Dex and I go and get you ladies drinks?” Erik suggested.
Angie smiled. “That sounds good. Nikki and I will wait here.”
I excused myself and followed Erik to the bar. I ordered drinks for Angie and me while he ordered for Nikki and himself. While we waited for them, he turned to me and said, “You’re a very lucky man.”
“Yes! You’re married to an incredible woman.”
“Yes, you’re right. I’m very lucky. Angie’s terrific. So, you recently joined the company.”
“Yes, I started in May.”
“So, how do you like it so far?”
“It’s great. The people I work with are amazing, especially Angie and Nikki.”
I had to ask. “So, is Nikki married?” I couldn’t remember if Angie had mentioned if she was or not. Until tonight, I hadn’t paid much attention to what she told me about her co-workers.
Erik shook his head. “No, she’s single. It’s hard to believe, isn’t it? A lot of guys at the office are always asking her out but she turns them down.”
The drinks came and we rejoined the women. I tried not to look at Nikki more than I needed to but it was really hard. The four of us hung out together for most of the night. After we had something to eat from the buffet, the dance floor was opened and people headed for it. Angie wanted to dance and I reluctantly obliged her. Then, Erik showed up and I honestly didn’t mind him dancing with her. I joined Nikki at the bar.
“You’re not much of a dancer, are you?” she asked.
I laughed. “Was it that obvious?”
“Well, you can dance but you’re just not into it.”
“You’re right. It’s not my thing. That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t been coming to the Christmas parties.”
“Well, I think it was sweet of you to dance with Angie even though it’s not your thing.”
“Thank you. What about you? I haven’t seen you on the dance floor.”
She shrugged. “I guess I’m not in the mood for dancing. Besides, these shoes are killing my feet. They’re new.”
I didn’t dare look down at her feet. I kept my eyes trained on her face. “Erik told me that you’re single. I find that hard to believe.”
She smiled. “Really? Why?”
“You’re a stunning woman, Nikki. Most of the men here haven’t been able to take their eyes off you.”
“And what about you?” she asked, her expression serious now.
I swallowed hard. “I’ve tried not to stare at you,” I admitted. “It’s not easy, though, especially now when we’re alone like this.”
“I know what you mean. I’ve tried not to stare at you too. I’ve seen photos of you but none of them do you any justice. Angie’s a very lucky woman.”
I found myself wondering what would have happened if I had met Nikki first. Would Angie and I be married? I felt guilty having such thoughts. I glanced away, my heart racing. I should walk away now. I should go and find Angie. Yet, I couldn’t seem to move. I turned to face her. She was staring at me. “Nikki, can I come and see you tomorrow night?” I heard myself ask.
“Yes,” she said simply. She told me where she lived. Then, she slid off the stool. “Let’s go back to the party.”
I followed her. For the rest of the night, I stayed with Angie but I was thinking about tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night came and after telling Angie that I was hanging out with the guys, I left. My fingers gripped the steering wheel. I shouldn’t be doing this. I should be home with Angie or really hanging out with the guys. Instead, I’m heading over to Nikki’s place. Nikki. Every time I thought about her, my stomach would flip flop and my heart would somersault. No woman, not even Angie, has ever had such an effect on me. This is crazy. I should turn this car around and head back home. I could tell Angie that I changed my mind and that I wanted to spend the night at home with her instead. She would love that. I’m sure Nikki would understand if I didn’t show up.
Twenty minutes later, I was standing in front of her door and ringing the bell. The door opened and she stood there. “Come in,” she said, stepping aside.
I went in and she closed the door behind me. I turned and faced her. My heart is pounding and my face felt hot even though I had just come in from the cold. I removed my coat and scarf. She took them and carried them to the closet. When she returned, she didn’t say anything but reached out, grabbed hold of my sweater and dragged it over my head. My bare chest was heaving now as I fought for air. I pulled her roughly against me and my head swooped down. My mouth closed eagerly and hungrily over hers, groaning when she put her arms around my waist and kissed me back. We didn’t make it to her room. We ended up making love right there in the foyer. Afterwards, we showered, had dinner and made plans to see each other again. Then, I left.
We’ve been seeing each other for months now. So far, Angie doesn’t suspect anything, not even when Nikki decided to leave the company. As I lay here now on a quiet Sunday afternoon, I know in my heart that I can’t continue doing this. I can’t continue lying to Angie. I know what the Lord wants me to do but I can’t do it. I can’t let go of Nikki. I can’t. I won’t…
Adultery isn’t something that is unplanned or unintended or an accident. It occurs in the mind and heart long before it becomes an action. You have a choice to say no and walk away but oftentimes, you say yes and walk right into it, not thinking about the heartache and the consequences that will affect you and the person to whom you promised to be faithful until death parted you. Adultery is a selfish act.