Lord Nelson Hadley always prided himself on being a man in control of his faculties. He was more analytical than emotional when it came to the affairs of the heart. And being ultra conservative, he was staunch in his stance against abortion, premarital sex, same sex marriage, drug use and other practices that were contrary to his religious and moral beliefs. He was never married. Marriage was something which he held in very high regard and he wanted to get it right because he didn’t want to end up divorced like some of his friends. He wanted to take his time and make sure that he married the right woman.
Over the years, he dated several high society women. Currently, he was dating Agatha Sullivan, the youngest daughter of Ted Sullivan, retired Supreme Court Judge. Agatha was a beautiful, accomplished woman and a philanthropist. They met at a charity ball two years ago. She shared his faith and his political views. He enjoyed her company and cared deeply for her. His family and close friends highly regarded her and thought she would make him a very suitable wife. He began to seriously and prayerfully consider marrying her. And then, he met Regina Davis…
Their meeting reminded him of David’s and Bathsheba. Like David, he was where he shouldn’t have been. It was around noon and he was hungry. He was in the mood for spicy food so he decided that he would go to a familiar Caribbean restaurant in Soho. Besides, it was a nice change from the upscale establishments he frequently went to where the food was sometimes bland.
He didn’t notice her until after he had given his order to the waitress. After closing the menu, he glanced up and his gaze fell on her. She was sitting two tables away, alone and looking at him. She wasn’t the sort of woman he would be attracted to although, she was attractive. Perhaps it was the excess makeup or the fact that she was wearing too much jewelry. Yet, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. He was like a moth drawn to a flame.
They stared at each other for a long time and when the waitress came and placed the plate in front of him, he barely glanced up at her. He didn’t touch his food right away. He found himself wondering who the woman at the table was and for a maddening moment was tempted to invite her to join him. Then, she smiled at him and his heart skipped a beat. Without thinking, he smiled back.
His response seemed to be all the encouragement she needed and his heart began to pound when he saw her get up from her table and walk over to him. She was wearing a blue long sleeved sweater which hugged her and a pair of faded jeans which fitted her snugly. She was medium height and looked to be in her late thirties. She stood behind the chair opposite him, her manicured hands resting on the back. She seemed a bit nervous and cleared her throat.
“Lord Hadley, I’m sorry that I was staring at you,” she said. “It’s just that I went to a fundraising event last week with a friend and saw you there with Agatha Sullivan. I wanted to come over and thank you both for your generous donations to the Olive Davis Community Center but something came up and I had to leave.”
This close, she was even more arresting and he found it hard to stop staring. “Do you work at the Olive Davis Community Center?”
She nodded. “Yes, I’m the Director. The center was founded by my grandmother Olive Davis who wanted to help the youth to stay off the streets.”
“What’s your name?”
“Regina Davis.”
He saw that she wasn’t married. “It’s nice to meet you, Regina,” he said, holding out his hand. She moved around the chair and closer to him so that she could shake his hand. Her hand felt so soft and very small in his. “The Olive Davis Community Center is doing excellent work in the community and we wanted to show our support.” Am I sounding like a politician?
“Please thank Miss Sullivan for me.”
“I will,” he promised.
She hesitated and then said, “Well, let me not take up any more of your time.”
“I would like to stop by your center some time,” he heard himself say and he knew that the reason for deciding to drop by had nothing to do with the center itself. He was just using it as an excuse to see her again.
She smiled. “That would be great,” she said and reaching into her handbag, she took out a business card which she handed to him. “Here’s my card. Call me when you plan to stop by.”
He took it and put it in the breast pocket of his jacket. “Thank you,” he said, his eyes meeting hers. He wanted to ask her to stay but decided that it would be unwise to do so.
“Goodbye, Lord Hadley,” she said. After a lingering glance, she turned and walked out of the restaurant.
He sat there for a long time, watching the door through which she had left and feeling like a heel because all he could think about was how badly he wanted to see her again. By the time he left the restaurant he had made up his mind that he would stop by the community center the following week.
On Monday morning, when he called her to let her know that he was going to stop by on Wednesday afternoon, she sounded very pleased to hear from him. The sound of her voice did things to him and he wondered if he sounded as breathless as he felt. His heart was racing and his hand gripped the phone tightly to stop it from trembling. What on earth is the matter with me? he asked himself after he hung up. He was acting like this over a woman he met just last week when he was contemplating marrying another. Perhaps, he should call her back and tell her that he couldn’t go but the desire to see her again was too strong.
Wednesday came and he was both nervous and excited. He keep looking at his watch. When it was time to leave, he quickly shut down his laptop, got up, pulled on his jacket and left the office. On the drive over, he kept asking himself why he hadn’t mentioned to Agatha that he was going there today. He had conveyed Regina’s message to her but left out the part about stopping by the center.
Regina was waiting in the reception area when he got there and a bright smile came over her face as she quickly closed the distance between them to greet and shake his hand. She looked lovely in a cream pantsuit which flattered her figure and he noticed that she wasn’t wearing that much makeup or jewelry. “It’s so good of you to come,” she said, after introducing him to Jasmine, the receptionist and they were walking down the hallway to begin the tour which she had promised him over the phone.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t think of it before.” That was true. He remembered how Agatha had mentioned visiting the center to get a better perspective of how it was operated and to meet the staff and maybe some of the youth whom they were helping but they never got around to it due to conflicting schedules. Again, he felt guilty about not arranging for a convenient day and time for them to come together. Pushing these feelings aside, he concentrated on what Regina was telling him about the center and the different programs.
“We offer services to women, children, youth, immigrants and the homeless. We have programs for teenage mothers, at risk youth, parenting workshops, health and cooking programs. Last year we launched a food bank which helps people from all ethnic and educational backgrounds and low in-come families. My grandmother, Olive, believed strongly in helping people from all walks of life, especially the vulnerable, needy and faceless in our communities. She was a God-fearing woman who was determined to show God’s love to everyone, no matter who they were. She always said, ‘Love is not about feeling, it is about doing. Jesus was always doing’. I thought that was a great saying to put as part of our mission statement.”
“I think your grandmother would be proud of the work you are doing,” he said, genuinely impressed by what he saw and it made him want to do more.
She smiled. “Thank you. This center means a great deal to me because not only is it here to help many people and to make a difference in their lives but it keeps my grandmother’s dream alive.”
When the tour was over, they went to her office where they spent a little while longer talking about the center. “I was wondering if you would be willing to come and make a presentation to my church one Saturday. It may encourage members to get involved.”
“I’d love to,” she said. “Just let me know when.”
“Thank you.” He stood up. “I must be going.”
She followed him to the entrance. “Thank you again for coming, Lord Hadley.”
They were alone. The receptionist had left for the day. “Please call me Nelson,” he said quietly. Heart thudding, he asked, “Will you have dinner with me tomorrow evening at that restaurant where we met?”
She nodded. “Yes. I could meet you there, if you like, because I live about ten minutes away.”
“All right,” he agreed. “I will be there for seven. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
The next evening when she got there five minutes before seven, he was there sitting at the same table as the last time. He rose to his feet and held out the chair for her to sit. His eyes traveled over her, admiration shimmering in their depths. She was wearing a red long sleeved dress and heavy makeup. Big, gold earrings dangled from her ears and this time, her nails were painted bright red. He was wearing a charcoal grey suit, matching tie and black shirt. After they ordered dinner, she asked, “Are you a Seventh-day Adventist?”
“Yes.”
“I asked because you mentioned that your church service was on a Saturday. My grandmother, Olive was a Seventh-day Adventist. As you can tell, I’m not one.”
“You are referring to the makeup and the jewelry.”
“Yes. If I were to show up at your church like this, they would probably run me out. With the exception of my grandmother, I always thought that Adventists were intolerant and judgmental.”
“Most of us may come across that way because we are passionate about the Bible and its application in our lives.” Right now if one of the members were to see me with you they would have a conniption. Agatha had gone to church with him on a couple of occasions and they welcomed her but he suspected that it was because of her Adventist background.
“When I come to your church I will be makeup and jewelry free, I promise.”
“Thank you.” He turned the topic on to other things. Dinner turned out to be a very pleasant experience and he was sorry when it was over. He took her home and walked her to her door. Outside, they faced each other. His heart was pounding wildly against his ribs.
“Wouldn’t you like to come in?” she asked.
“I shouldn’t,” he said weakly. His mind yelled, Run but his body was screaming, Stay.
She turned and unlocked the door and pushed it open. “Just for a nightcap,” she said.
Temptation cast itself like a net over him and drew him into the flat. When the door closed, he knew he was in deep trouble. Desire seized him in an iron grip and blindly, he reached for her and pulled her roughly against him. His mouth found hers and devoured it like a ravenous lion, pressing her up against the door, groaning when he felt her eager response. Hands tugged at clothes until they were discarded on the ground by their feet, nails clawed at bare skin as they moved like two drunken people toward the hearth where a cream shaggy rug was spread. There, in front of the electric fireplace, they made wild and passionate love, beginning what was to become a torrid love affair.
They saw each other as often as it was possible and spent most of their time at Regina’s flat. They went out occasionally and were careful to avoid the places where they might run into familiar faces. The only place they frequented was the Caribbean restaurant in Soho. It became their favorite haunt because it was where they met.
On the Saturday when she was invited to speak at his church, they were careful not to give themselves away, always acting circumspect around each other, especially since Agatha was there. After the service, as Nelson watched the two women chatting over potluck in the church basement, he couldn’t help comparing them. As usual, Agatha looked regal in her lime green suit with matching hat, shoes and purse. She was a very beautiful woman with thick chestnut hair and bright blue eyes yet it wasn’t she who make his heart skip a beat whenever he was around her. His gaze shifted to Regina.
She was wearing a below the knee black and white dress with long sleeves. Her face was devoid of any makeup and she was not wearing any jewelry. She had kept her promise. She looked incredible. He had to be careful not to be caught staring at her. After the afternoon program, she left. That evening, he went to her flat and didn’t go back home until the following afternoon.
It wasn’t long before his affair with Regina began to affect other areas in his life. He found it difficult to concentrate on his work and when he was in sessions, he found himself thinking about her. When he was with Agatha, he was distracted and when she inquired about it, he was evasive and said that he had a lot of things on his mind but assured her that it was nothing for her to be concerned about. Whenever he read his Bible and came across passages talking about fornication, he was filled with conviction.
Finally, it was yesterday when he had resolved, I must end my relationship with Regina. With a set expression on his face, he had closed the Bible and gotten up from behind the desk in his study and left the room, determined to push all feelings aside and do what his faith and conscience dictated.
He had gone over to her flat, with every intention of ending their affair but when she opened the door, pulled him inside and pushed him up against the door, after slamming it shut, his resolve weakened. He blushed now as he remembered how she had dragged off his jacket, tossed it on the floor before ripping open his expensive white shirt, sending the buttons flying. His body reacted when he remembered how she had buried her face in his heaving chest even as her fingers loosened his belt.
They had ended up making passionate love right there on the rug in front of the door. All the reasons he had come up with for ending things between them went straight out of the window. His mind and senses were dulled by the desires which consumed him. The guilt of his hypocrisy and his duplicity which had plagued him all the way to Regina’s flat that evening had taken flight in the face of his insatiable hunger for her. He spent the night with her.
He came home a couple of hours ago after another one of their explosive trysts. Now that he was alone, all the guilt and self-recrimination came flooding back and he sank down on the bed, burying his face in his hands. And to make matters worse, he didn’t even remember that Agatha and he were supposed to attend the opera that evening. If she hadn’t called an hour ago, he would have stood her up. He spent all day, trying to figure out what to do. Regina was like a drug that he was addicted to. He wanted more and more of her. The carnal feelings she aroused in him were terrifying and foreign to him. In all of his forty-two years, he had never felt like this about any woman.
That evening as he got dressed, he couldn’t stop thinking about Regina and as he buttoned his shirt, he thought of the shirt he had to discard because she had ripped off the buttons. He closed his eyes briefly as an intense longing filled him, making him whisper her name as he remembered the rapt expression on her face as he made love to her that morning. Frustrated, his eyes flew open. Get a hold of yourself, Nelson, he chided himself. Dragging on his jacket, he left the bedroom. He had no idea how he was going to get through the night being in the company of one woman while thinking of the other.
Regina sat on the sofa, an opened book on her lap but she wasn’t reading it. She couldn’t concentrate. All she could think about was Nelson. They were worlds apart and moved within different circles. He was a Lord and in a relationship with a cultured woman. There was no question that one of these days they were probably going to get married.
Regina closed her eyes at the thought and painful jealousy filled her. She had no doubt that Nelson wanted her. It was evident whenever they were together but she wished that he felt more than desire for her. I wish he were in love with me like I’m in love with him.
She opened her eyes and tossed the book aside, rising to her feet. She had to face facts. There was no future for her with Nelson. The only option was end their affair. She couldn’t continue sharing him with Agatha, dreading the day when he would announce their engagement. Still, the thought of never seeing him again was just too unbearable for her.
Tears sprang to her eyes. She felt helpless–trapped. Why did I have to be in the restaurant that day when he came in? Why did I have to fall in love with him? Why? Why? Why? A sob escaped her lips and the tears fell. Dear God, please help me, she begged silently. Just then, the phone rang. Brushing the tears away, she hurried to answer it. “Hello?”
It was Andrew, her nephew. He was in the area and wondered if she would like to go to the movies and then grab a bite afterwards. She readily accepted his invitation. It would take her mind off her problems and it would be nice to catch up since it had been a while since they saw each other. After she hung up, she showered, got dressed and left to meet him in the lobby.
It was while they were sitting at a traffic stop when Nelson spotted Regina coming out of the cinema with a tall, athletic young man. He watched as she looked up at him and laughed when he said something before she slipped her arm through his as they started down the sidewalk. Nelson’s face suffused with color. Red, hot jealousy surged through him and he knew that if Agatha weren’t in the car with him, he would have jumped out and gone after them. He wouldn’t have cared who saw him. He sank back against the seat, his head spinning.
“What’s the matter?” Agatha asked, touching his arm, making him start. When he turned to look at her, there was concerned expression on her face. “Are you all right?”
He stared at her for a long moment, trying to figure out what to do. Should he be honest with her and tell her that he was upset because he had just seen Regina with someone else? And what would he say if she asked him why seeing the Director of Olive Community Center with another man should matter to him? Or should he just tell her that he wasn’t feeling well? How could he do that when he knew that for weeks she had been looking forward to seeing Verdi’s opera, Un Ballo in Maschera? He didn’t want to ruin her plans. “I’ll be okay,” he finally said, with a forced smile before he turned away to stare out of the window.
It was after eight by the time Regina let herself into the flat. She put her keys on the table in the foyer before heading straight for the sofa where she plopped herself down. She reached for the remote and switched on the television. It was nice going to the movies with Andrew, grabbing pizza afterwards but she couldn’t stop thinking about Nelson. I wonder what he’s doing right now. The flat seemed lonely without him. She hugged the cushion tightly, wishing he were there with her.
Finally, the opera was over and it was time to leave. He had no idea how he sat through it when all he wanted to do was leave and head over to Regina’s flat. During intermission, he had excused himself and gone toward the bathroom but instead of going inside, he went somewhere quiet to call her. There was no answer and when he tried her cell, it was turned off. Frustrated, he dragged his fingers through his hair, wondering where she was. He returned to the balcony and sat down just as the lights dimmed.
Now as he sat in the car as it merged into traffic, heading to the Sullivan estate, he thought, she should be home by now. Is she alone or is he there with her? Unable to stand it any longer, he turned to Agatha, “Agatha, I have a confession to make…”
Regina woke up with a start. Somehow, she must have dozed off. Sitting up, she was about to turn off the television when she heard the doorbell. Scrambling off the sofa, she rushed to answer it. It was after ten. Peering through the keyhole, her heart skipped a beat when she saw who it was. Eagerly, she unlocked the door and flung it open. The smile that lit up her face faded when she saw the expression on his.
Stepping aside, she let him go in before locking the door and turning to face him. “Don’t I get a hug or a kiss?” she asked, longing to put her arms around him and kiss him. He looked very handsome in the black silk suit, matching tie and white shirt.
“I called you earlier but there wasn’t any answer. I tried your cell phone but it was turned off.”
She frowned. “What time did you call?”
“I called during the intermission which was around five minutes past seven.”
“Intermission?” she inquired.
“Yes, I was at the opera.” He was a walking contradiction of emotions. Jealousy, anger and desire churned inside him.
She pursed her lips. So that was where he was tonight and it explained why he was all dressed up. “You went to the opera with Agatha.”
“Yes. Regina–“
“Did she enjoy it?”
“I’m sure she did.”
“What about you?”
He almost lost it. “No, I didn’t enjoy it,” he muttered tightly, his eyes dark and stormy. “And do you want to know why I didn’t enjoy it?”
She looked wary now. “Why?” she asked in a small voice.
“Because of you. Are you seeing someone else?” he demanded thickly, almost beside himself with jealousy.
She stared at him, her eyes wide. “Of course not,” she said, shaking her head.
“Then who was the young man I saw you leaving the cinema with this afternoon? I saw the two of you when Agatha and I were on our way to the opera.”
“That was Andrew. He’s my nephew.”
“Your nephew?” he repeated. “That young man I saw you walking down the sidewalk arm in arm was your nephew?”
“Yes!” She turned and abruptly walked away, returning a few minutes later with a framed photograph. She showed it to him. It was of her, another woman and the young man. “That’s his mother, Beryl, my older sister when we were at our parents’ home in Florida last year Christmas.”
He closed his eyes, slumping against the door as relief washed over him. “I was out of my mind with jealousy when I saw you with him,” he told her. “If Agatha weren’t with me, I would have jumped out of the car and come after you.”
Regina put the photo on the table besides her keys and then she reached up and slowly unbuttoned his jacket. “It seems like we both had a miserable night,” she said quietly. “I was over there on the sofa wondering what you were doing and missing you like crazy and you were at the opera with Agatha thinking that I was cheating on you.” His jacket was off and on the floor. Next, she started on the buttons on his shirt. He opened his eyes then and what was in them matched what she was feeling.
“I told Agatha about us,” he admitted, staring at her bent head. “I couldn’t continue lying to her and to myself. I ended our relationship tonight and then I came straight here. I love you, Regina. Seeing you with Andrew today only made me realize that I can’t be with anyone else.”
Her hands paused as she raised her eyes to his face. “I love you too but what about your family and friends and your church? What will they think about you being in love with a sinner?”
“We’re all sinners, Regina but the good news is that we have a Savior who loves us.”
“You know, when I was at your church, the members made me feel very welcome. Do you think they would mind if I started going regularly?”
He shook his head. “No, they wouldn’t mind at all.”
“Good.” She bent her head and resumed unfastening the buttons. The shirt soon joined the jacket on the floor. When he was standing half-naked before her, she reached up and pulled his head down to hers. His arms went about her waist, holding her tightly against him as he kissed her back.
A year and a half later after she was baptized and became a member of his church, they got married. The service was held there and the reception at the Park Plaza County Hall and among the guests was the staff from the Caribbean restaurant where this all began.
“[Soho] is all things to all men, catering comprehensively for those needs which money can buy. You see it as you wish. An agreeable place to dine; a cosmopolitan village tucked away behind Piccadilly with its own mysterious village life, one of the best shopping centres for food in London, the nastiest and most sordid nursery of crime in Europe. Even the travel journalists, obsessed by its ambiguities, can’t make up their minds.” ― P.D. James, Unnatural Causes
For Nelson and Regina, Soho was everything to them because it was the place where they met and fell in love.
Notes to Women 