He sat there on the plane, the open magazine on his lap, his head resting against the back of the seat and his face turned towards the window, watching the clouds and knowing that the distance between Natalie and him was getting wider. He closed his eyes in despair. Walking away from her was the most painful and hardest thing he had ever done in his life but things couldn’t continue as they were. He had to end their relationship.
After a night of torrid lovemaking, he woke up very early the next day and quickly got dressed while she was still sleeping. He wrote a note for her and left it propped up against the lamp on the bedside table next to her. He stood for several minutes staring down at her, longing to bend down and kiss her bare shoulder but was afraid that he would wake her.
He tiptoed to the door and slowly opened it. He stepped into the hall and closed the door behind him. The place was silent except for the clock ticking and the sound of his heavy breathing as he fought the temptation to turn around and climb back into bed with her. Once he was outside of the flat, he released a shaky breath and hastily headed for the lift. In his car, he told himself that he was doing the right thing even though his heart felt heavy. He went home, packed his bags and booked the next available flight out of Detroit and heading to London. It was an impromptu vacation. He couldn’t be in Detroit right then or his resolve would crumble. He hoped that the distance would somehow ease the pain and that being with his family would help as well.
So, here he was on the plane heading for London. He wondered if she had read the note and how she was taking the news. He remembered every word he had written.
Dear Natalie,
I never imagined that I would fall in love again but I have. I knew that I loved you the first time we met. I tried to fight it not because I found out that you’re Darnell’s sister. I forgave Darnell for being responsible for Jody’s death. It wasn’t easy because it was his reckless driving which resulted in her death but God helped me to get over the bitterness I was feeling toward your brother and to come to the place where I could not only find it in my heart to forgive him but to share His love with him.
My healing came from talking to Darnell about God and sharing the Bible with him and as I watched him accept God’s love and forgiveness, it brought a peace to my heart which I hadn’t felt in a long time. Visiting Darnell was a much of a blessing for me as it was for him. Then, I met you.
When you walked into the room, my heart stopped. I couldn’t believe that another woman could have such an effect on me. I felt as if I was being unfaithful to Jody’s memory. Jody was my best friend before she became my wife. We had known each other since college but didn’t start dating until years later when we were in our thirties. Two years after we started dating, we got married. We were married for two and a half years when she died. I had lost my wife and my best friend. We had planned to have children but that dream died with Jody.
Falling in love again was not something I imagined would happen and when it did, I tried to fight it. You stirred in me feelings and passions that I have never experienced in my life–not even with Jody and that scared me. I wanted you so much that it was all I could think about. And when I realized that you were attracted to me too, it was only a matter of time before we became lovers.
Loving you has consumed me to the point where I have turned my back on what I know to be right and acceptable in God’s sight. As a man of faith, I can’t continue to be in a relationship with a woman I am not married to. It goes against what I believe. I have to choose between my love for you and my faith. It pains me to do this but I must choose my faith. By the time you read this letter, I will be out of the country.
We cannot attempt to see each other anymore. Please believe me when I say that I love you and will always love you. Sometimes doing the right thing hurts but in the end, we have to be able to live with ourselves.
Andrew
“Oh, Natalie,” he moaned under his breath, aching for her. Life without her was going to be unbearable.
Natalie read the note again, the tears streaming down her face. She hadn’t seen this coming. She thought they were happy but when she read the note, she realized that how hard it was for him to go against his religious convictions. She herself came from a Christian family and had been taught that sex outside of marriage was wrong. She had drifted from her faith, not going to church as often as she should. Her makeup and choice in clothes were evidence that she was not as devout when it came to religion as the rest of her family but after meeting Andrew, those things had changed. She had stopped wearing the makeup and had opted for the more natural look and her wardrobe had changed too. And she had begun to read her Bible more lately. She even began going back to church and then this morning she found this note.
Thankfully, it was a Sunday morning and she didn’t have to worry about going to work. There was no way that she would have been able to function. Heartbroken and depressed she didn’t even feel like getting out of bed.
When Andrew got to Heathrow, his brother was waiting for him. He went up to him and after hugging him, said to him, “I know that this is going to sound crazy, but I must return to Detroit. There’s a woman there whom I am going to ask to marry me.”
Stuart stared at him. “Are you serious? You just got here and now you’re going to leave?”
“Yes! I’m been an utter fool. I can’t believe that I didn’t think of this before. I walked out of her life when I could have asked her to marry me.”
“Does she love you?”
“Yes and I love her.”
“Then, go to her. I’ll explain everything to the folks. I’m happy that you have found someone after losing Jody. I wish you all the best, Andy.”
“Thanks, Stuart.” They hugged again and then Stuart left.
Andrew found his way to the departure terminal where he booked the next available flight to Detroit.
The following evening, Natalie was sitting on the sofa, despondent when the doorbell rang. She was not in the mood for seeing anyone but she got up and went to answer the door. Her eyes widened when she saw Andrew standing there. Opening the door at once, she exclaimed, “What are you doing here?”
“Where’s the note I wrote you?” he asked as he stepped inside the foyer.
She closed and locked the door behind him before she reached into the pocket of her dressing-gown and handed the note to him. He tore it up. “Why did you do that?” she asked, bewildered.
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” he told her. “I was a fool to write it in the first place and I was a bigger fool for walking out of your life. I love you, Natalie and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Marry me.”
She gaped at him. “Marry you?” she repeated, her heart thudding. He looked dead serious.
“Yes. Let’s get married on Saturday. We’ll go and get the ring today.”
Her mind was spinning at this turn of events. Just a few moments ago, she felt as if her world had been pulled out from under her and here, she was on the verge of being blissfully happy. “Are you sure?” she asked.
“Yes, I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. Today we get engaged and on Saturday we get married. In between that time, you and I have to abstain. We will not make love until we are on our honeymoon.”
Her heart bursting, she put her arms around his neck. “I love you, Andrew Clarke and I will marry you.”
His arms slipped around her waist and he held her tightly against him, his eyes darkening on her upturned face. “I’m sorry it had to take a plane ride to London to make me realize that marrying you is the right and best thing to do.”
She smiled. “And this is a decision that we can both live with.”
Notes to Women 