Memories

I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times – Psalm 77:5

I find it curious that the older you get the more you look back instead of ahead.  It’s like we want to go back in time.  Memories flood our minds and we spend hours reminiscing with family and friends or looking through photo albums.  We look at ourselves in the mirror and mourn our youth, the days when we had one chin instead of two.

We think of those days when we used to be able to run and actually cover a lot of distance, without wanting to collapse on the ground and catch our breath.  We miss the times when we didn’t have to worry too much about calories.  We were able to quickly burn off the fat.

Nowadays the things we used to enjoy when we were younger have lost their appeal.  We are not as active as we used to be.  We are quite comfortable staying home on the weekends.  And most of us are looking forward to retirement.

I knew that I was getting old when I started sounding like my mother when I talk to my son sometimes.  I do that whole spiel about “when I was your age…”

There are times when I feel so ancient.  I was in my early forties when I had my son and it’s too late now for me to have another.  By the time my son gets married, I will be in my seventies and may be mistaken for his grandmother.  This happened to my mother.  She is in her eighties.  One day at church, we were standing in the foyer together.  A woman saw us and asked me if “this was my grandmother”?  I told her that it was my mother.  I don’t know how my mother felt.  She didn’t say anything.  She just smiled.  I don’t know how I would have felt if it had been me.  Just recently, I wished that I was turning 40 instead of 50.

I mentioned to my husband how it would have been a great opportunity for me to go on a mission trip while I was still in school.  It would have been a productive way to spend part of my summer.  Then, he suggested that we could go on a mission trip together when we retire and that put things into a whole new perspective for me.  Growing old is not a big deal, depending on how you look at it.  I could get stuck in yesteryear because I am not looking to turning the big 50 or I could see my fast approaching birthday as a blessing.  I could say, “I’m going to be 50 years old and I look at least ten years younger.”  I could celebrate fifty years of life and the blessings God has bestowed on me.

Ancient speaks of experience and wisdom.  It has shaped me all these years.  I have grown to appreciate all the experiences that have brought me thus far and I look forward to the new ones that will take me through the rest of life.  I will always cherish the old memories but it’s time to create new ones.

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