“To Thy own self be true”, the famous words in the play, “Hamlet” came to me recently as I remembered advice God once gave me. He said, “Don’t let the fear of losing someone prevent you from being honest. Be true to yourself.”
I was in a relationship and we wanted different things. I wanted marriage, he didn’t. I continued in the relationship hoping that things would change. I wanted to believe that in time, he would change his mind. I tried to be patient. I tried to be accommodating. All the while, I was hoping that the relationship would lead to a commitment on his part.
I was settling instead of sticking to what I wanted. God had told me to “be honest. Let him know where you stand. Be true. You owe it to yourself.” I did tell my ex what I wanted and he made it clear what he wanted. I got hurt because I was naive to believe that if I waited long enough, he would realize that he couldn’t live without me and will ask me to marry him. This didn’t happen. I had my head in the clouds but God opened my eyes to the truth. I came crashing down and now my feet are firmly planted on the ground.
God brought me back to reality because He doesn’t want me to settle for anything less than the very best. It has always been my desire to get married and have a family and God didn’t want me to deny myself this. He didn’t want me to continue to hold on to a relationship that was going nowhere. He didn’t want me to lose sight of my dream—of my desire—of myself. He wants the best for me and I should want the same thing. I deserve better than what I was getting from the relationship!
Before you consider leaving the relationship, ask yourself these questions: Can this person live without me? Can I live without the person? Am I giving my best?
By letting go of a relationship that was not for me, I am being true to myself. Somewhere out there is a man who wants the same things I want and when the time is right, God will bring him into my life.
If you are in a relationship that is not going the way you would like it to, let the other person know. Don’t let fear of losing him or her stop you. If the relationship is meant to be it will last. And if not, move on and be glad that you were honest with the other person, letting them know exactly where you stand.
Letting go of someone you love or really care about is hard but in the long run you will be relieved you did—especially if there is someone far better out there for you. Remember, “This above all: to thine ownself be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.” Do not fool yourself or the other person into believing that you are happy with the relationship as it is. Be true to yourself and to the other person. It is better to lose the other person than to lose yourself in the person.
Years later after writing this devotional, God answered my prayers. He brought someone into my life–a wonderful man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me. We are the proud parents of the adorable son God blessed us with.
Don’t settle. Don’t feel pressured to jump into a relationship or to hold on to one that is not going anywhere because you are afraid of ending up alone. Wait on the Lord who desires to give you His best. Remember, good things come to those who wait.