Service: When Women Come Marching Home

Last month, my husband and I watched this documentary about women veterans who bore the scars of war.  They suffered from post traumatic stress syndrome, sexual assault, rape and homelessness.  CPL (ret.) Sue Downes lost both of her legs and was struggling to get the help she needed to integrate back into life.  She had her legs blown off above the knees and she got no support from the government.  We watch these women as they struggled to regain their lives–normalcy.  There was nothing there for them.  There were no jobs–most of them are incapable of finding jobs.  They had psychological problems.  They were physically disabled.

It was hard to watch these women who served their country–the double amputee went through both Iraq wars–not getting the support in integrating back into civilian life.  One woman who had a psychological problem and it took three months for her to be assigned to an officer who would actually listen to her case.  One woman who was physically injured and didn’t want to be a burden to her husband, was yelled at because she had a service dog in a grocery store.  Sue Downes encountered problems when she went into a fast food place with her service dog.

It was heartbreaking  to see that one of these incredible women still felt like a failure in spite of the fact that she was doing her Masters after completing her Undergraduate Studies.  It was encouraging though, to see two of the women who suffered from psychological problems take charge of their lives by venturing out instead of being isolated in their homes.  One of them who graduated from college.

I watched a documentary on the rape and sexual assault of women in the US military on Independent Lens and the lack of support they receive.  They are treated like they are the criminals and it broke my heart to see one woman’s husband actually break down and cry because his wife was raped by her commanding officer and his friend.  The women who tried to file reports on what happened were made to feel that what happened was their fault.  One was criticized for the way she was dressed.  Another was told that she would ruined the life of the man who raped her–he was married.

Many of these rape victims find themselves forced to choose between speaking up and keeping their careers.  Very few cases that are reported are prosecuted.  Women are left with the shame of what happened to them and not being taken seriously.  Their rights are violated again when they come forward with their stories and they are reprimanded or treated like the enemy.  These women who gave their lives to serve the military have to struggle to rebuild their lives and fight for justice.

I hope that bringing to light this shameful secret of the US military and the stories of these brave women in the Oscar and Emmy nominated documentary, “The Invisible War” will make a difference.  “We hope the film will affect lasting changes in the way the military investigates and prosecutes sexual assault crimes and supports and cares for assault survivors,” said Kirby Dick. To that end, “The Invisible War” is a call for our civilian and military leadership to listen — and to act.

To find out more about the makers of this movie, check out their website at http://servicethefilm.com/filmmakers.php

I hope that those of you who have not watched the movie, will find a way to do so and spread the word.

Source:  http://www.marketwire.com/press-release/the-invisible-war-premieres-on-independent-lens-on-monday-may-13-2013-on-pbs-1789562.htm

Bringing Children to Jesus

Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. “Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it – Luke 18:16, 17.

We should never hinder anyone from coming to Christ, least of all our loved ones. The Bible says that God loved the world so much that He gave His beloved Son so that those who believe in Him will have everlasting life.

Mothers brought their babies and children to Jesus so that He could bless them. When the disciples tried to prevent them, Jesus wasn’t pleased. In fact, Mark 10:14 says that He was greatly displeased.

Jesus loves children. Just as He was happy to receive those little children in the region of Judea He is happy to receive our children today. Children love Jesus. My four year old son told me that he loves Jesus and he likes to sing songs and watch animated movies. When he was a toddler we dedicated him to the Lord. At bedtime we bought read Bible stories and he prays before and after.

As a child I grew up to a Catholic mother and an Anglican father. We went to my mother’s church every Sunday and my father’s only on special occasions such as Easter and Christmas. I don’t remember my mother or father reading Bible stories to me as a child. I didn’t get to really know the Lord until I was an adult. I want do things differently with my son. I want to him to grow up having a loving and lasting relationship with His Savior.

It’s never too early to teach them and you want when they are older that they hold onto what they have learned from you and carry it with them all the days of their lives. You want to follow these words of advice, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

As a mother who loves the Lord, lead your child to Christ. Read to him or her. Watch movies together. My husband and I watch Nest Family animated stories from the Bible. We learn from these simple but beautiful stories every time we watch them. Talk to your child about Jesus and what He means to you. Find ways to bring Christ to your child.

…when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and
I am persuaded is in you also – 2 Timothy 1:5

 

Hymen Reconstruction

This week on the Ricki Lake Show, I learned about women having their hymen reconstructed.  I never knew such a thing existed.  Check out this clip from the show.

Melody Meozzi, an Iranian-American Muslim writer and attorney, is a staunch opponent of hymen reconstruction.  She believes that it further contributes to violence against women.  She goes head to head with with Dr. Robert Moore, an internationally recognized Laparoscopic and Vaginal Reconstructive Surgeon who has operated on patients from all over the US and the world.

Hymen Repair Surgery, termed as Hymenoplasty is a simple surgery to restore virginity of women owing to the religious, cultural and ethnic reasons. The surgery repairs the hymen after it has been ruptured during sexual assault, agreed intercourse, sports, falls or insertion of tampons.

The Hymen Restoration Surgery takes up to 30 minutes to an hour. The surgery is performed under local anaesthesia with sedation or general anesthesia. It involves stitching of the edges of the remaining hymen together. Soon after this the hymen heals and the ruptured hymen grows back to a hymen similar to one in virgin girls. With hymen restoration, vaginal walls also tighten up.

Such procedures are not generally regarded as part of mainstream gynecology, but are available from some plastic surgery centers, particularly in the USA, Japan and Western Europe, generally as day surgery. The normal aim is to cause bleeding during post-nuptialintercourse, which in some cultures is considered proof of virginity.

I came across an article on the BBC News website about women in Asia and the Arab world who risk being ostracized or death because they had sex outside of marriage.  Many of them are undergoing surgery to reconnect their hymen so that there is blood on the sheets on their wedding night.  Others have committed suicide because of the unbearable pressure and the fear of being found out.  Read their stories.

Hymen reconstruction surgery is performed in China as sexually active Chinese women are pressured by their new husbands.  This procedure is also done in Canada.  There were lots of websites promoting hymen repair, reconstruction.  There was even a website called Hymen shop where they sell artificial hymen.

There is so much information out there about hymen reconstruction.  If you or someone you know is considering this procedure, educate yourself first.  Seek counselling.  Don’t let anyone pressure you into having the surgery.  This decision is yours alone.

Sources:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymenorrhaphy; http://www.weirdasianews.com/2010/09/14/hymen-reconstruction-surgery-price-virginity/; http://www.indicure.com/articles/hymenoplasty-procedure-outcomes-cost-hymen-restoration-surgery-in-top-hospitals-clinics-in-india.html; http://www.rnw.nl/english/article/hymen-reconstruction-doesnt-work;

God is in Control

Look up in faith and not down in despair.

One morning I found myself thinking about Job.  When looking up the word adversity in the dictionary, one can almost expect to see Job’s name right beside it.  He went through more than many people would go through in a lifetime, yet he had these things to say, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; “Blessed be the name of the Lord”; “Shall we accept good from God and shall we not accept adversity?” “You have granted me life and favour, and your care has preserved my spirit.”; “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him”.

The story of Job teaches us several things.  Satan is not in control, God is.  God allows certain things to happen in our lives.  He allowed Satan to take away Job’s possessions, his children and his health.  God allowed Job to endure much pain and suffering through no fault of his own.  In spite of his situation, Job did not curse God.  No matter what we are going through we are to praise God.  God is to be praised at all times.

Praise God during the bad times?  Personally speaking, this would be hard to do.  Instead of giving praises and thanks, we would most likely break down and cry, asking God, “Why me?  Why have you left me?  How could you do these things to me?” We would be in so much pain that we would want to either curl up and die or seek comfort.  We would wish the problem away.  But this is not how God wants us to deal with adversity.  He wants us to focus on Him instead of the problem.  Like David, we should ask ourselves, “Why am I so sad?  Why am I so troubled?  I will put my hope in God, and once again I will praise Him, my Saviour and my God” (Psalm 42:5).

It helps to remember that life here on earth is temporary.  Suffering is temporary.  God promised us that He will wipe away all tears from our eyes; that there will be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying nor pain.  All the heartaches we endured here on earth will be among the former things, which will pass away.  It helps to remember that God is greater than any adversity.  When we keep our eyes and minds focused on Him we will overcome just as Jesus did.  When Peter took his eyes off Jesus as he walked on the water, he began to sink.  We too sink into despair and hopelessness when we take our eyes off God.

The book of Job teaches us that God is in control of all the affliction that befalls His people.  Affliction shapes us, fine-tunes us.  God uses trouble to test our hearts.  God reveals both His and the devil’s purposes.  While Satan sought to disprove that Job was blameless God sought to build up Job’s character.  God brings us to places where we would not otherwise have reached had we not gone through trials.

Going through trials makes us ask questions, appreciate the good times and make us stronger.  We learn valuable lessons.  We learn patience, endurance, humility and God’s purpose for our lives.  We see that we are not exempt from suffering.  Suffering cannot be avoided.  God wants us to take the bad with the good.  Strength comes from hardships, difficulties, trials and tribulations.  These help us to see what we are made of and the areas God wants to work on.

Job is a fine example of patience and this is what I need to have more of.  God is teaching me to be patient; to wait on Him; to trust Him to fulfil His plans for my life. Trials also show us who our true and faithful friend is—God.  Job lost many friends and the remaining ones attacked him instead of comforting him. God is there through thick and thin.  He convicts us not condemns us.  He does not desert us when things are going bad.  All through Job’s suffering God was there.

Another lesson to learn from Job is that we don’t question God. God doesn’t owe us any explanations as to why suffering takes place.  Instead, we are to ask, “Lord, what are You trying to teach me?  What is it that You want me to learn from this?”  Or say, “Lord, You brought me to this and I know that You will bring me through it.  You are in control”.  As we go through the valleys in life, let us remember to praise God.

Women And Infertility

I was watching General Hospital and one of the characters received the news that she could not have children.  Any child she carried would not be carried to full term.  She would lose the baby.  What heartbreaking news.  It hurts to see women who want to be mothers and who would be great mothers unable to have children while those who are unfit have children.  It doesn’t seem fair.  Lulu, the character wondered why this happened to her since there was no family history of infertility.  Before that she blamed herself for her condition because she had had an abortion when she was a teenager.

I have often wondered why are some women unable to have children or carry them to full term?  There was a time when I was afraid that I would not be able to have children.  In biblical times barren women were looked down upon by other women.  Sarah was despised by her servant Hagar because she was able to conceive while her mistress couldn’t (Genesis 16:4).  Hannah was tormented by Peninnah, her husband’s other wife and rival because the LORD had closed her womb.  She made Hannah’s life a living hell until God blessed Hannah with children.  Rachel rejoiced when she conceived her first child, saying, “God has taken away my reproach” (Genesis 30:23).

In developing countries women face ostracisim and see their infertility as a failing or a curse.  Newsweek ran a story in 2008 about women around the world who are coping with infertility.  One woman was uable to conceive for the first 13 years of her marriage.  She said that people would ask a woman her name—and then, “How many children do you have?” When the woman answered “none”, they don’t know what they can talk to you about.”

It must be so difficult for a woman to be surrounded by family members and friends who have children of their own or to see mothers where ever you go with their children and know that she would never have that experience.  It’s ironic. There are women who can have children but choose not to and there are women who would like to be mothers but are unable to have children.

What causes infertility in women?  Women’s Health Government has a fact sheet which answers these and other questions about infertility.

What is infertility?

Infertility means not being able to get pregnant after one year of trying (or six months if a woman is 35 or older). Women who can get pregnant but are unable to stay pregnant may also be infertile.

Pregnancy is the result of a process that has many steps. To get pregnant:

• A woman’s body must release an egg from one of her ovaries (ovulation).
• The egg must go through a fallopian tube toward the uterus (womb).
• A man’s sperm must join with (fertilize) the egg along the way.
• The fertilized egg must attach to the inside of the uterus (implantation).

Infertility can happen if there are problems with any of these steps.

Infertility among women is common.  According to  the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) about 10 percent of women (6.1 million) in the United States ages 15-44 have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant.

What causes infertility in women?

Most cases of female infertility are caused by problems with ovulation. Without ovulation, there are no eggs to be fertilized. Some signs that a woman is not ovulating normally include irregular or absent menstrual periods.

Ovulation problems are often caused by polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). PCOS is a hormone imbalance problem which can interfere with normal ovulation. PCOS is the most common cause of female infertility. Primary ovarian insufficiency (POI) is another cause of ovulation problems. POI occurs when a woman’s ovaries stop working normally before she is 40. POI is not the same as early menopause.

Less common causes of fertility problems in women include:

• Blocked fallopian tubes due to pelvic inflammatory disease, endometriosis, or surgery for an ectopic pregnancy
• Physical problems with the uterus
• Uterine fibroids, which are non-cancerous clumps of tissue and muscle on the walls of the uterus.

What increases a woman’s risk of infertility?

Many things can change a woman’s ability to have a baby. These include:

• Age
• Smoking
• Excess alcohol use
• Stress
• Poor diet
• Athletic training
• Being overweight or underweight
• Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• Health problems that cause hormonal changes, such as polycystic ovarian syndrome and primary ovarian insufficiency

Check out the Women’s Health Government fact sheet to find out how age can affect a woman’s ability to have a child; how long a woman should try to get pregnant before consulting a doctor; how a doctor determines if a woman and her partner have fertility problems and treatments.  They also offer more information (links) on infertility that may help you or someone you know who may be having difficulty getting pregnant.

Glen Meade Center for Women’s Health outlines the ways in which women can be tested for infertility:

• Blood tests to check hormone levels, including progesterone and follicle stimulating hormone (FSH)
• Checking morning body temperature to determine if ovaries are releasing eggs
• Hysterosalpingography (a radiologic assessment of the uterus and fallopian tubes)
• Pelvic ultrasound
• Laparoscopy (inspection of pelvic region)
• Luteinizing hormone uterine test (ovulation prediction)
• Thyroid function tests

There is hope for women experiencing infertility.  Glen Meade offers the following treatment options depending on the cause of the infertility:

• Education and counseling
• Fertility treatments, such as intrauterine insemination (IUI) and in vitro fertilization (IVF)
• Medications that treat infections and clotting disorders
• Medications that help women grow and release eggs from the ovaries

Notes to Women wants to reach out to women facing infertily by encouraging them to read articles from women who are coping with it such as this one.  We hope that the tips for living with infertility will be helpful to you and give you some comfort.

Sources:   http://womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/infertility.cfm; http://www.glenmeadehealth.com/ms_infertility.html; http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2008/09/14/what-it-means-to-be-a-woman.html

Encouraging Words: Your Daily Devotion

Recently I have subscribed to receive daily devotionals for Women and today I received this encouraging devotion.

today’s versefrom the New Living Translation

“I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth! He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps.”Psalm 121:1–4 encouragement for today The psalmist looks to the mountains, seemingly so strong and stable. Can his help come from there? No, his help comes from the One who created those mountains and the whole earth and heavens besides! When tempted to trust only in earthly things, go to the true Source of any power and solidity there is—God. The One who constantly watches over you and all of his people, without even a nanosecond of a pause, is eager to come to your aid.—Diane Eble, author of Abundant Gifts: A Daybook of Grace-Filled Devotions

This is so true.  God is the One we turn to when we are hurting or need help.  Countless times I have turned to Him when I am hurting or am troubled.  He is always there, just ready to step in and offer a helping hand.  He cares about us.  We are His children.  He is the loving Father who longs to pick us up when we fall or enfold us in His arms when we need comforting or the shoulder we cry on.

The psalmist wrote, “God is our shelter and strength, always ready to help in times in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).  Peter encouraged us to cast all of our anxiety on God because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7).

There are times when God is the only One you can run to.  He knows what is going on.  You don’t have to tell Him.   And He is in control.   He is that Rock of strength you can cling to when you feel like you are sinking or unable to cope with what’s going on in your life or around you.  Sometimes there is no other where to look but up.  And remember that God is able and very willing to come to your aid.  Just let go and let Him.

Mother’s Day Gift

Mother’s Day is very special for me.  I love getting cards from my four year old.  I enjoy going to the annual Mother’s Day tea party held at his daycare because I get to see him interact with other kids and I get to chat with his teachers but most of all, I get to spend time with him in his environment.

For me the best gift was the miracle I was given from God four years ago.  I will never forget the day my son looked up at me with his big beautiful eyes as he lay on the hospital bed.  His face was the only visible thing because he was wrapped in the blanket.

I became a mother late in life but for me it was the right time.  I had met the man of my dreams and I was ready to have a family.  Unfortunately, in some parts of the world, girls and women are forced to become mothers before they are ready.  In the Cameroon, early and forced marriage is a practice that is harmful to a girl’s health and well-being.

Association for the Promotion of Girls’ and Women’s Rights (APAD) empowers survivors of early and forced marriage in the Extreme North region of Cameroon, Africa, and educates communities about the intrinsic human rights of girls, including the right to choose when and whom to marry. Led by young women who escaped or avoided forced marriage, APAD is the only organization of its kind in the region (source:  globalgiving).

This year help to support the global movement to ensure every girl’s and woman’s right to a just and healthy life and the fundamental right to choose when to marry and have children.  Give the gift of hope today by sending a card to a loved one.  Not only will you brighten their day but you will be making a difference in someone else’s life.

Give a gift this Mother’s Day that will last much longer than flowers. Honor a special woman in your life by supporting IWHC’s partner APAD, a local organization that empowers survivors of early and forced marriage in the Extreme North region of Cameroon. Your loved one will receive a personalized card electronically or through the mail.APAD educates communities about the intrinsic human rights of girls, including the right to choose when to marry and when to become mothers.With each card you send, you support a global movement of women who are working to ensure the right of every girl and woman to a just and healthy life.

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Exalt Him

The most beautiful name I have ever heard is Yeshua.  The first time I heard it praised was in the beautiful song, Baruch Haba Yeshua by Karen Davis.  Watch the video.  This is my favorite song by her.  The song expresses all of our hope and desire to see our risen Lord.  Today, we celebrate His resurrection.

What the Elderly Can Offer

Psalm 145:3–7

Additional Scripture Readings: Job 12:12; Psalm 92:12–15

According to recent statistics, the average church has an “experience bank” of about 3,700 years in their senior citizens. What a reservoir! What a storehouse! How many years of wisdom do the experts of your own family possess?

Those experts preserve traditions passed down from one generation to another. They provide continuity and stability. They demonstrate a living faith that links the past, the present and the future. However it is passed down, the generations of your own family have much to offer you.

The greatest gift you may be able to offer the elderly is the opportunity to share their offering with you. Record on video or audio tape their memories of earlier times. Ask them for that family recipe and then write it down for those who follow. Pull out the family Bible or genealogy and transcribe the births, weddings and deaths of those they remember so that you will never forget. Seek the offerings of the elderly. You and your children will be the beneficiaries.

Source:  NIV Devotions for Mom

Reading this reminds me of Timothy.  Paul wrote the following in his second letter to the young pastor,  “I am calling up memories of your sincere and unqualified faith (the leaning of your entire personality on God in Christ in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness), [a faith] that first lived permanently in [the heart of] your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am [fully] persuaded, [dwells] in you also” (2 Timothy 1:5, AMP).  Timothy was the beneficiary of his grandmother’s and mother’s faith.

We can learn so much from our elderly.  They teach us about our family history.  They share their memories and words of wisdom that enrich our lives.  My son’s grandmother has so much experience that she is a blessing to her son and me.  She advises us on so many things.  Just the other day, she outlined three things that a woman should know how to do–cook, take care of her family and groom herself.  She advised her son to put aside money each week he got paid and use it to buy clothes.

Those of us who still have our mothers, grandmothers and elderly relatives still living among us, we should be very thankful and let them know how much we love and appreciate them.  For those who have departed, we let their legacies live on.

“Daniel” Women

Daniel 1

Additional Scripture Readings: Leviticus 20:26; 1 Peter 5:10

A friend is having an affair. A neighbor stretches the truth on an insurance claim. A loved one swears in front of the children. Sins of all kinds are all around us-and inside us. How can we break free from them and be distinctive people in Christ? Daniel disregarded the popular beliefs of his day and lived instead by God’s standards.

The “Daniel” woman doesn’t walk out on her husband. She doesn’t hang up on her mother. She doesn’t ignore the needs of her neighbor. She doesn’t insist on playing the game of life by her own rules, but rather chooses to play consistently, obediently, sometimes even painfully, by God’s design. She stays committed to those around her. She recognizes and respects the bonds of a pledge, whether to a husband, a child or her God.

In our day, avoiding consequences and ignoring promises are all too common, but the woman who stands by her commitment and fights for healthy relationships is a “Daniel” woman: a distinctive person in Christ.

Source:  NIV Devotions For Mom

One of my favorite people in the Bible is the prophet Daniel.  I admire his resolve.  He refused to eat the king’s diet.  He didn’t follow the crowd.  He continued to pray to God even though a decree had gone out that if anyone was found worshipping their god instead of the king, he or she would be put to death.  Daniel stayed true and faithful to God and as a result he was respected and admired by two kings both of whom acknowledged that the God of heaven was the true God.

It’s not easy to be a “Daniel” woman but we have the assurance that with we can achieve and accomplish anything through Christ who gives us the strength.  We must stand out in our society–in our workplace–wherever we are.  We must be role models for our children–committed to our relationships and fulfill God’s purpose in our lives.

The “Daniel” woman is like the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31.  She is a generous woman, industrious, loving.  She cares for her family and helps her neighbors, community.  A “Daniel” woman is a blessing.  She is a woman of noble character.  She is trustworthy, capable, energetic and strong and a hard worker.  Her husband praises her and her children call her blessed.  This kind of woman is one who fears the Lord.

I aspire to be a “Daniel” woman.  It’s not going to be easy because as the devotional says sin is around and inside us.  But rest assured, God is greater than our shortcomings, our faults, our sins.  He can transform us.  He is the Potter and we are His clay.  He will shape and mold us, break us if He has to and put the broken pieces back together and make us whole again.  All we have to do is surrender.  We can be whatever we aspire to be–with God’s help.  He is the Artist and we are His masterpiece.  Remember you were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and that He who has begun a good work in you will perform [it] until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6).